So, she thinks I'm cheating on her (I'm not)

[ZEE]

It's really weird. I've never cheated on anyone. Now, suddenly, she is convinced that I have been cheating on her. It sucks. It's not the fact that I know I have not cheated, but I have not given any reason to think that way either. So... there is no trust or respect. That is how I feel about it.

Have you had any similar experiences and how did you deal with it? I'm not dealing with it at all at the moment. I'm sort of pissed off.

Whip out your penis and howl into the wind... as any true Pekka would do.

[Imran Siddiqui]

No disrespect intended Pekka but this must be your first serious relationship.

BTW
Don't ask nerds for advice on women!!!!!!
Asking a bunch of nerds for advise on women makes about as much sense as asking nerds for advise on how to pick up women.



Defense mechanism, it's a women thing. Don't waste your time trying to figure it out. It will drive you nuts trying to figure out why women do some of the things they do.
Laugh and blow it off. Trust is earned not given. Show and tell her ( in a nice way ) that her petty jealous temper tantrums are having no effect on you and she will stop doing it.
If you don't get things under control soon then you have lost control of the relationship.
Most women feel secure knowing the man is in control of the relationship.

I'd rather take advice from 'nerds' than someone telling others that the man needs to be "in control of the relationship"

[Hauldren Collider]

It's strangely relieving to know that docfeelgood is sexist as well as racist and homophobic.

[Elok]

Hot nurses?

They said some suspicious stuff about blood flow to his extremities, I guess.

[Docfeelgood]

Don't ask nerds for advice on women!!!!!!
Asking a bunch of nerds for advise on women makes about as much sense as asking nerds for advise on how to pick up women.

I'd rather take advice from 'nerds' than someone telling others that the man needs to be "in control of the relationship"

Hmmm.... why is she convinced you are cheating?

Hot nurses?

Hmm, she's never mentioned these kinds of feelings. Perhaps I'll bring it up this evening.

Go cheat on her. You're already suffering the consequences so you might as well get something good out of it.

Pekka, I'm sure she's told you the reasons for her thinking so why don't you address those point by point with her?

I honestly have no idea what to do in that situation.

Maybe she's pissed at him for being sick, but realizes that this isn't an acceptable reason to be pissed at him, so she's (sub)consciously fabricating more acceptable reasons to be pissed at him. I know from second hand experience that people get angry at other people for their being sick, then they feel guilty for these feelings, and the combination of anger and guilt can get pretty bizarre.

clearly murder is your only solution.

maybe shes cheating and this is just a means of keeping you on your toes

Whip out your penis and howl into the wind... as any true Pekka would do.

It's strangely relieving to know that docfeelgood is sexist as well as racist and homophobic.

They said some suspicious stuff about blood flow to his extremities, I guess.

[Docfeelgood]

It's strangely relieving to know that docfeelgood is sexist as well as racist and homophobic.

Bet you're secretly wishing right now you could be a real man like me!

[kittenOFchaos]

Have you had any similar experiences and how did you deal with it? I'm not dealing with it at all at the moment. I'm sort of pissed off.

My wife can have a dream about me cheating and then hold it against me all day.

Probably best just to tell her to stop looking for more drama. The whipping out your **** sounded good too.

[-Jrabbit]

Doesn't it seem obvious to everyone that Mrs. Pekka is grasping at this line of thought to separate herself from the possibility to of losing Pekka to the ravages of pernicious, unfair disease? I mean, especially if there's no evidence of any actual malfeasance.

Try not to be pissed, Pekka. She is protecting herself emotionally from the horror of losing you. She probably feels a little guilty about it, since you're the one who is actually, you know, beset by a potentially fatal medical condition. It's a lot to deal with for both of you.

My 2 cents...

[Pekka]

Well, she has now resorted into treating me like I have cheated on her. Just silent treatment, not doing any chores we have... but I guess that's jstu temporary. I won't start doing them for her based on her wrong belief.

At this point, the things I have left to say are few... I guess I'll wait a bit and see what happens. This time I feel like it's not my thing to start and explain things.

[Pekka]

jrabbit,

she is in total denial about it, has been for all this time. I have asked her several times to talk about it with me, to see what options we have in the future for treatments, and none of this has she done. Ever. I'm literally doing it by myself. It has been a disappointment in that sense. I guess it's too tough on her but sometimes you just have to get over it and get stuff done.

[Docfeelgood]

Hang in there....

[Pekka]

Hang in there....

I will. The worst part it is that she has a tendency to call me at work or email me (or SMS) about stuff like this (negative). So this time (yesterday) she called me at work out of her mind that I'm cheating on her, and who is this Jake (name changed) guy, is he really a guy, there is always a Jake, why is there always a Jake... just random stuff. To be honest, quit scary, if I look back at it.

So. The bad stuff is that I could hear the kids next to her. My older one _definitely_ understands, so stuff like "why are you cheating on me, why do you have another woman" makes it so difficult to shut up.

So if lucky, I might have few years left in me. I definitely don't want to spend it like this. But I also don't want to die alone. Or I definitely don't want to die without spending every day with my kids. Basically, I'm screwed either way. So I have to hang in... see what comes next.

By the way, she is still convinced that I'm cheating on her with "Jake". I'm not even going to try to find out why the madness occurred.

[Ninot]

Who is Jake?

I've tried a few different ways of handling it. Some work better than others

1: Break up with her (doesnt sound reasonable here)
2: Admit to everything and make the story sound amazing. (shocked her into some common sense, worked a little bit)
3: Deny everything (never works)

Calling you at work and letting the kids listen is horrible though.

Ultimately my experience is that false accusations are probably rooted in that she wants more attention from you.

[Elok]

This is really quite bizarre. Good luck, man.

[Pekka]

Well, supposedly in her history, her old bf cheated on her and used to tell that he went to "Jake".

To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure she is telling the truth. It doesn't even matter.

I can't admit to something I haven't done, and I refuse to actively deny something I haven't done. I have a friend whose name is Jake and that's the truth. I've seen Jake two times in the last few months, both times lots of other nerds were present so I've got an alibi and everything. However, I am not going to use it. It's not the point. If I get accused of something that big, when there is no hint of someone else, then it's something I put into "crazy" category.

Just seeing a friend and getting all this in return is not good because I see my friends very rarely. I'd like to see my friends in the future without being suspected of things, or having to explain myself.