I've been approaching women all wrong!

[self biased]

Why do you insist on parading the fact that you're an idiot? Let's say that you blunder your way into getting her. Why won't she do to you what she just did to someone else? You're special? Only in the short bus sense.

while I can understand the sentiment, its not like albie is in actually any danger of putting out.

[Elok]

Women branch from man to man like monkeys in the trees. Monkeys don't let go of one branch until they've firmly grabbed another. This is just to take advantage of their tactics.

It is well past time for you to abandon this ridiculous conceit that you understand women. At all. You understand women like Wile E. Coyote understands roadrunner trapping.

[Elok]

Also: You're Jay Gatsby. The USMC is Daisy Buchanan and her stupid ****ing green light.

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

That's his ulterior motive for trying to become a jarhead reserve officer. With luck, at least one of the camp followers looking for free government bennies via a "contract marriage" won't pick up on the "reserves" part until it's too late.

Wow betting the farm on a really stupid Debra Winger

[Guynemer]

[Hauldren Collider]

I woke up today and discovered this wasn't a bad dream. There really is someone stupid enough to post this thread. God dammit. God dammit all to hell.

[Hauldren Collider]

Al, there's something just...off...about your pictures.

Theoretically, you have the physical package. But it's like your empty soul stares at me through the picture. It creeps me out.

QFT.

PS: Those shorts are gay. You've even got the not-so-subtle penis euphemism dangling out front.

The shorts aren't the only part that's gay.

Also: You're Jay Gatsby. The USMC is Daisy Buchanan and her stupid ****ing green light.

[The Mad Monk]

Dependapotamus is the modern military slang for the phenomenon described by me and MtG, where young men get married earlier than they should to women they shouldn't have anything to do with in order to collect BAH and get out of the barracks. Or just in general military personnel making terrible life choices with respect to marriage.

Military personnel and terrible life choices go together like bases and pawn shops.

[Sava]

This thread makes me regret I have only but one "thank" per day.

Speer:
You have a few different choices. It seems to me you are looking for the home run in your first at bat. You can keep taking all the pitches you want until you get one right down the middle. But say you swing and miss. What then? If you expect perfect, you need to be perfect. Relationships take work. If you aren't a closeted gay, you strike me as a dude with some confidence issues... thus, the shirtless pics and whatnot.

Even with your creepy, soulless expression (as Asher so accurately pointed out), you are fit enough to bag the hottest of hotties (the drunken low self-esteem kind). You may have ethical reservations about living such a lifestyle. You may not respect those women beyond their physical attractiveness. But it depends on what you want.

Promiscuity is a set of behaviors like anything else. Most people start shortly after puberty. You can learn that stuff as an adult if you want. But it's a lot more difficult to break those habits.

Personally, I think your lack of sexual activity or experience is a positive... especially the older you get. Even women in their mid-20's start to outgrow the promiscuous phase in life. Not all women live that way, of course. But attractive women face an onslaught of male attention starting at puberty. It's hard to blame them for not being chaste.

If you are just itching to get in a relationship, work on your confidence and be social. Don't worry about dating. Work on building a small group of friends, the more female the better. It's more likely you'll find a partner that way than the way you seem to be going about things. You know you are headed in the right direction when you start to hear things like "I can't believe you're single!"

Work on yourself and you'll be the one the women want... as opposed to being a whiny little *****.

[molly bloom]

My old response, exhibited here, was so wrong: AS MYSELF

Try from behind, in the dark, with a length of lead piping. This book may help you:

'The Collector' by John Fowles and this one 'Hunting Humans' by Elliott Leyton

and these films:

'Twisted Nerve', 'Frenzy' and 'Peeping Tom'.

[molly bloom]

Monkeys

Have more sex than you do.

I'm 6'2"

Yeah, and narcissistic and dress like Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno.

[Kidlicious]

I need to go after the ones in relationships.

If she's single, I'm competing against the whole world. If she has a boyfriend then it's only one!

Fail.

[Kidlicious]

I'm 6'2"

Which says a lot about your tactics. lol