Can I shoot stray dogs?

[Dauphin]

Or the Marines.

[Al B. Sure!]

What gives with the nonchalance regarding dogs? Look at those pictures of the wounds brought about by dogs. How can you possibly not comprehend the seriousness of a dog attack?

[giblets]

Because humans are more dangerous? That doesn't mean I'm going to **** myself when I see one.

[Al B. Sure!]

Because humans are more dangerous? That doesn't mean I'm going to **** myself when I see one.

It's extremely rare for some random human to decide to attack me in the middle of the day. On the other hand, loose dogs WILL attack.

[Dauphin]

Haven't you claimed to have been mugged more than once?

[Felch]

They smell the fear on you.

[Dauphin]

Also, violence in dogs is correlated mostly to the temperament/treatment/training of their owner. People make dogs violent.

[Al B. Sure!]

Haven't you claimed to have been mugged more than once?

Did I not just say IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY!??!

[Al B. Sure!]

Also, violence in dogs is correlated mostly to the temperament/treatment/training of their owner. People make dogs violent.

Yeah that will be great to know when a dog is jumping at my throat

[onodera]

Albie, try getting your hands on some Isoniazid. It's an anti-TB medicine that is lethal to dogs. Put it into some burger patties and leave them as presents for your stray friends.

[Dauphin]

Did I not just say IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY!??!

Yeah that will be great to know when you're attacked at night.

[/non-sequitur]

[Uncle Sparky]

I don't know if I've said this before, but acquire pepper spray. Given dogs' exquisitely sensitive noses, even an indirect shot fired in haste should teach them manners.

Oh, nose!!! To this vicious killing machine, pepper spray will just induce salivation! You'd be do-o-o-o-o-omed!!!!

[MOBIUS]

Now I understand why alby failed to join the marines!

[Elok]

It's extremely rare for some random human to decide to attack me in the middle of the day. On the other hand, loose dogs WILL attack.

So, let's put this all together:

1. Al is routinely attacked by dogs.
2. Dog attacks cause vicious injuries.
3. Al has never been injured by a dog attack (has he?).

Something is wrong here. You know what it is? In all likelihood, you've never been actually attacked by dogs. You have, no doubt, been chased by dogs quite frequently, and possibly you have encountered a threat display or two. Neither constitutes an attack. My neighbors' dogs routinely chase us as we are driving out of the driveway; it's a miracle we haven't run over the damned things. They don't have anything against us in particular, they just have the normal dog instinct to chase after things that move really fast in front of them. It's stronger in some dogs than in others. What does it mean? Basically nothing. If we slow the car down to a stop the dogs will gather around and yap at us annoyingly, sometimes circling in front to cut us off--I think they have some herding blood in them. However, all the barking is sheer mindless bluff, since a little foot-stomping and angry posture will send them scurrying.

Now, it's possible that your Philly dogs have an extremely strong chase instinct that will lead to biting, are mentally unwell, or have been abused, so I wouldn't recommend confronting them without pepper spray and a very good reason. But FFS, don't shoot them. That will mean no end of legal trouble, and it's not like the dogs are going to get together and gossip, "hey, don't go chasing after that huge half-Lebanese jogger, he's packing heat!"

[Al B. Sure!]

I've never allowed the dogs to get close enough to injure me. I've jumped over fences, ran into traffic, etc. to get away/scare them off but I've been very lucky. I don't know if I'll be lucky the next time. The time with the two pit bulls that cornered me against a wall was a hell of a close call.