How not to get a girlfriend in 2012

[Egbert]

Assuming a pretty girl gives you her phone number, a big smile and a suggestion you call her. After 10 minutes or so of friendly conversation.

How would you stuff this up without appearing to have deliberately stuffed it up?

[Al B. Sure!]

Assuming a pretty girl gives you her phone number, a big smile and a suggestion you call her. After 10 minutes or so of friendly conversation.

How would you stuff this up without appearing to have deliberately stuffed it up?

Be me. Guaranteed success.

[regexcellent]

Talk about how you're seeking temporary employment, don't have a car, and live in the ghetto.

[Flubber]

Talk only about yourself for the first date .

[giblets]

Talk about how you wish you were homosexual? Talk about how our ancestors on the savannah lived? I don't know.

[Aeson]

Don't call her until 2013. If she contacts you, mutter something about the Mayan calendar and how you have room in your bunker if she's into helping repopulate the world if you survive. If she's into it, play up the cannibalism aspect of having more bodies around.

[SlowwHand]

Why do you care? You're not interested. Thanks, but no thanks.

[Az]

Be me. Guaranteed success.

/thread

[MikeH]

Assuming a pretty girl gives you her phone number, a big smile and a suggestion you call her. After 10 minutes or so of friendly conversation.

How would you stuff this up without appearing to have deliberately stuffed it up?

Ask Apolyton for advice on how to make this girl your girlfriend then only follow the advice of anyone who suggests girls are some odd creatures who need to be gamed to ensure victory.

[Donegeal]

I opened this thread to post "How is this thread not made by Al?"

Then bam... first one to post.

[Flubber]

Whatever you do

DO NOT

Call her the next day with a firm invitation to something that most girls might find interesting or appealing or which you know she in particular may like.
Make inquiries about her school/job/friends/ interests and actually listen to the answers.

[C0ckney]

don't call her. at no time act like a man, take the initiative and ask her out to do something fun and light. if a girl asks you if, theoretically, you would sleep with her, under no circumstances take the massive, neon-lit hint and reply with a firm no before asking on apolyton about what she could have possibly meant. if you people for advice, ignore the advice of those who are married, in long term relationships or that have any kind of sex life. you should be sure also to tell those who offer advice that they don't know what they're talking about.

instead you should send her boring text messages about nothing. make sure that make closed statements and try to shut down any conversation. if you do finally ask her out make it's something serious and heavy like a romantic dinner. if your approach isn't working, then for goodness sake don't change anything, it's obviously not you that's at fault.

[Provost Harrison]

Assuming a pretty girl gives you her phone number, a big smile and a suggestion you call her. After 10 minutes or so of friendly conversation.

How would you stuff this up without appearing to have deliberately stuffed it up?

I guarantee you I could manage it with a shovel load of anxiety. Makes it so much easier.

[b etor]

I opened this thread to post "How is this thread not made by Al?"

Then bam... first one to post.

qft

[molly bloom]

Assuming a pretty girl gives you her phone number, a big smile and a suggestion you call her. After 10 minutes or so of friendly conversation.

How would you stuff this up without appearing to have deliberately stuffed it up?

Answer your 'phone, explaining that you're expecting your urgent test results back from the Genito-Urinary Clinic.