Symptoms persisting greater than 12 years

[ColdWizard]

One that will react to baseless accusations.

[SlowwHand]

All your baseless are belong to us.

[Lorizael]

This may sound extreme, and can obviously have significant side effects, but electroconvulsive therapy has been shown to be effective in some cases recalcitrant depression.

Of note: this tidbit comes from someone who has not read up on or participated in any sort of significant psychiatric care in nearly eight years, so take it with an appropriately-sized grain of salt.

I don't want ECT. I want transcranial magnetic stimulation. It's got a cooler name.

[Aeson]

I was treated with ECT when I was 18. I would strongly recommend against it unless your only other option is being institutionalized for the rest of your life. While there's some evidence it can help with certain mental disorders, there's also some evidence it can really **** you up. If it did anything good for me, it was to drive home the point that all the time and money spent on these meds and counselors hadn't done a damn thing for me, quite the opposite in fact, and I was better off on my own. (Though again, I wouldn't recommend this for everyone. And certainly not cold-turkey like I did.) Read "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" instead, as it's the most enjoyable ECT related experience you're likely to get (and something of a cautionary tale, even though techniques these days are much different), and can be an interesting read as well.

Something that helped me was to listen to a lot of classical music and read classical literature. Something I didn't do much of growing up. Also, lots of time out in nature. Mostly trying to break my ego by being up against something much more grand and timeless. For me it's much easier to deal with my personal problems when my self isn't that important, and unimportance or even irrelevance is "ok". My sig really struck me while I was reading War and Peace, sorta put into words something I had been struggling with and tried to make it a part of my life (not on Poly OT though ). I also liked making almost cartoonish attemps at irrelevent things. Like deciding to change my least favorite color to my most favorite color. Building sandcastles that would just wash away.

In many respects these things are similar to "finding Jesus" for believers. Worked far better for me than all the meds and counseling. In some ways it seems you are already trying some of this, go with it and be patient. The cartoon, the weird references to your (perhaps affected) world views. Finally, be patient. How to figure out to do this is the hard part. It helps immensely once you get there though. I'm still depressed. That feeling is always there. But it doesn't really affect me anymore because it doesn't matter anymore. It's just another absurdity about the world to fix or laugh at. Been through it all so many times before... can get through it this time too.

[Felch]

Guns?

And weed. Come on, when have I not been high? Do you think I'm depressed? Well I am. I just have the common sense to self-medicate.

[Berzerker]

Sorry to hear that Lorizael, I figure 99.999% of depression cases are chemical imbalances, unfortunately docs still dont know enough about the brain's chemistry etc and its probably illegal for us to experiment on our own. But I also figure there's some chemical out there that will reduce or eliminate these imbalances. Just as I figure there's a cure for cancer out there waiting to be found, so to with depression. But short of the more dangerous route of playing mad scientist in the laboratory with your brain, try walking. Serious walking, not a 1/2 mile - and walk briskly. I know people who do that and it helps them, really does. Or swimming... Have you noticed fluctuations or variations in strength? Maybe you cant play doc on your own brain, but you can play detective. Do the seasons have any effect? Day or night? Before, during and after strenuous effort? Look for clues whenever you can...

[Zoetstofzoetje]

More broadly, intense sport releases 'positive' hormones into the brain. Not only will you feel more fit, they will make you feel more happy.

[Zoetstofzoetje]

And yes, the amount of *sun* you digest is also related to happiness. Generally speaking, more sunlight is better. Google winter-depression.

[Lorizael]

It's called SAD these days. Anyway, thanks everybody. You're all nice folks.

[MikeH]

Have you tried Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? Doesn't work for everyone, but worked for me.

[Jon Miller]

Exercise
Christ (no, this isn't the same thing as yelling at God in a thunderstorm)
Spending time with positive people
Doing things for others
Getting away from focusing on yourself

JM

[N35t0r]

Spending time with positive people

ie: get the hell out of poly!

[Lancer]

When I was in my 20s I went through some pretty steep depression. It had the effect of overcoming my prideful self and teaching me humility...which may be the point, tough love, but I just don't know. Anyway after I was knocked down I eventually got on my knees and prayed. If you understood where I was in my life a few years before you would know how unlikely that event was. Anyway, there was no pride left, I could really open myself up in prayer. In an instant everything changed, and I wasn't alone within myself anymore. A spirit of incredible joy, like a bright light coming on in the deepest dark. That spirit was the best thing I've ever experienced, it was pure love and joy. I got up, went to bed, and fell asleep thinking 'if this doesn't let up, I won't be able to go to work tomorrow'. That was my thought, then I went to sleep. Next morning, no depression. Thank God!

adios

[C0ckney]

trying pills once is probably a solid idea. although i wouldn't recommend extensive usage of ecstasy for anyone with underlying mental health problems.

[Lorizael]

Christ (no, this isn't the same thing as yelling at God in a thunderstorm)

Religion should be the answer to the question of morality, not happiness. And for the morality bit, I've already got that figured out.