Symptoms persisting greater than 12 years

[Lorizael]

I don't often delve into non-girl personal issues on Apolyton, but ugh **** piss ****. I've been depressed since about middle school. Sometimes it's worse than usual; sometimes it's better. Right now it's definitely worse.

I've taken Lexapro, Prozac, Effexor, Cymbalta, Wellbutrin, and Zoloft (which I'm currently taking), and while some of these drugs have helped me for a time, none have cured me.

I've seen a psychologist (who thought my problem was too much breakfast cereal and not enough fish pills), an adolescent therapist, an adult therapist, and a couple of psychiatrists to prescribe the above pills.

I've meditated, gone on long walks, isolated myself from my friends for weeks at a time, changed worldviews, sat alone in the dark with a knife to my throat, and called out the names of various gods to a storm-filled sky. None of that worked, either.

Tomorrow I'm seeing my primary care physician (I recently got insurance and have to see the doctor before I can get another prescription or a referral) but I don't have much hope for the visit. In fact, I don't have much hope for anything. Crap hell balls.

Suggestions, Apolyton?

[Asher]

I know what Felch will suggest.

[Lorizael]

Guns?

[BeBMan]

Ignore the depression, treat it like some troll on the internet. It will realize that it's useless and leave or shut up.

Seriously, I dunno anything that would be more helpful than all you tried so far. Just find something you like and focus on this. Like writing web comics or something. That would be my totally amateurish advice.

[Lorizael]

The problem with that is depression is like an ******* moderator who sends you creepy private messages and can't be put on your ignore list.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

It's winter. Have you tried using a light box?

[Lorizael]

12 years.

[OneFootInTheGrave]

pills do not mean much without proper therapy, and for that you need a good psychologist... which is not easy, but you need someone to give you some guideance to help you understand the underlying issues, and help you find direction... like old fashioned shaman, but these days this role is pretty much with psychologists, perhaps preachers... good ones who have more sense than just to take peoples money for nothing may be tough to find though, but you could go on and try to find one who will be able to help you...

[MOBIUS]

Or taking Vitamin D supplements? Cos that's what you're missing out on with the lack of sunlight, which links in to the SAD.

Though I assume this depression isn't a seasonal thing? But this might help a little bit.

What I do if I feel a bit down is think of people in a worse situation than me. A visit to poly to read some ******'s (currently Kidicious) posts and before you know it - I'm right as rain!

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Have you tried putting on "I wanna be sedated" by The Ramones really, really loud, and leaping around?

[Lorizael]

Haven't listened to that song in awhile. Not a bad suggestion.

[N35t0r]

What really cured me of my depression was getting a girlfriend... The Zoloft did help in the process, though.

At one point, I had stopped taking antidepressants (big big mistake) and quit my job... I was pretty ****ed up after that... I eventually managed to find another job, and wasn't doing very well (really bummed out, had trouble getting out of bed in the morning, etc.) so after the first 'talk' with my boss, i decided to visit my psychologist again. I re-started on Zoloft, and a couple of weeks later met my current GF. Three months later, I was easing out of Zoloft (lol, I still have half a blister left), four months later, we had moved in together.

Bottom line? The drugs won't cure you, but they'll give you the tools to do it, I think.

[Lorizael]

Woo not being depressed anymore.

Girlfriend isn't the answer for me, though. I've had girlfriends while depressed, and the end result was that they were depressed that I was still depressed despite being with them. I'm living with my current girlfriend. We're happy together and all that, but that doesn't stop my brain from being ****ed up.

[dannubis]

A hobby ?

[MOBIUS]

Hmmm, problem is, after 12 years you'll have probably heard and tried any advice we can think of...

How about a list of stuff that makes you genuinely happy and do it when you're feeling down? Have a little happiness fund or something?