I really hate this time of year

[self biased]

Q: what is the difference between a soprano and a ferrari?
A: most musicians have never been in a ferrari.

[Boris Godunov]

Q: If you're holding a gun and you see both a conductor and a violist in front of you, which one do you shoot first?
A: The conductor. Business before pleasure.

[Thoth]

You should've heard of it.

It's famous for being the PM's residence with a pathetically low amount of security. About a decade ago, some guy just broke in with a knife and the PM and his wife had to lock themselves in the bedroom.

24 Sussex The woods out back are a fine spot for sex and/or dropping acid.

[KrazyHorse]

Q: If you're holding a gun and you see both a conductor and a violist in front of you, which one do you shoot first?
A: The conductor. Business before pleasure.

Why should you never push a car with 4 violists in it off a cliff?

You can probably fit a fifth one in there.

[Boris Godunov]

Q: Why are people in a bank afraid if someone walks in with a violin case?
A: Because they think there's a gun inside it and he means to use it.
Q: Why are the people even more afraid if someone walks in with a viola case?
A: Because they think there's a viola inside and he means to use it.

[self biased]

Q: what's the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
A: vibrato.

[Boris Godunov]

Q: What's the difference between a seamstress and a violist?
A: The seamstress tucks up the frills.

[Cort Haus]

First DJ: "Are you going to the film tonight?"
Second DJ: "Why, who's the projectionist?"

[Cort Haus]

Oh, one more thing.

Those people who have not heard of Status Quo should count themselves very fortunate, and would be strongly recommended to avoid ever listening to them under any circumstances whatsoever. The damage done is almost certainly irreversible and permanent.

[Cort Haus]

Sorry, were we talking about Christmas?

[DaShi]

Status Quo huh?