Why do women run away?

[BlackCat]

Trust me. Some of you have even heard my voice. I don't sound gay, for one.

Oh, and how do a gay sound ? I've known a number of gays where nobody knew they were gay before they told they were.

Doesn't matter if you are gay or not - if they (the women) think you are, they treat you different.

[Al B. Sure!]

No one thinks I'm gay! Holy crap! Seriously. This is an Apolyton-only phenomenum!

Here, I found that one woman, the one who had cut ties with me but 2-3 days ago acted all blushy and smiley... she made some little video on facebook yesterday about her turn-ons and turn-offs...

Her turn-ons were manly men who aren't pretty boys (check )... she said she really likes big arms and hands but that's not all the important (check on the arms )... music heads who are into Oldies (definitely)... and being funny...

Turn-offs include cockiness, laziness, horniness, and 'fashionista' men "If every night, you have your color wheel held out to your closet... NO!"

[BlackCat]

Uhmn, yes, but what was her excact reasons to turn you down ?

[Flubber]

Alby Alby Alby

Back again for this?? It seems the same problem you posted about forever ago. Women seem interested initially but then disappear. Now you cannot account for it every time-- Some women are just crazy or whatever, but if you find that consistently women seem interested and then disappear there are really three possibilities

1. You are initially only attracting some specific subset of women or
2. There is something either obnoxious, repulsiveor otherwise unacceptable about you that they discern upon further knowledge of you
3. some combo of 1 and 2

Perhaps you attract mainly lesbians or women that don't want a boyfriend. Maybe you attract mainly horny girls that ditch you the second they hear you are a virgin and plan to stay that way . Etc ect etc


Also I don't think you are gay because of anything asher said. I consider it a strong possibility since you have never "lain with a woman" ect etc. Nothing about you discounts the possibility. I consider it an open question until you manage to have a healthy sexual relationship with a woman.


Oh and I reject your base premise. In my personal experience (largely back before the invention of fire) women I dated were seeking the second and third and 4th date. I got turned down couple of times but very rarely. Probably because I was seen as good "relationship material "-- (stable, articulate, good listener)-- Before we got sidetracked Rah mentioned listening-- If you listen to women and are actually interested in what they have to say, they will think YOU are a brilliant conversationalist. Listen more talk less.


Finally -- I know you say its only a snide comment here and there on here about women but you make a few of them and it probably reflects an underlying attitide. If the women sense you feel they are inferior or something, anyone from the horny girls right to the principled virgins will want to have very little to do with you. Snide comments can be jokes meaning nothing but they also can be indicators of underlying feelings.

I will say Alby that you are one of the more intriguing personas on here. keep the threads coming !!

[Al B. Sure!]

She gave no reason. Well, at the time, it was something like "I'm not interested in dating right now but please don't think I'm telling you to stop talking to me"... a few months later when things looked better and she wanted to go to lunch with me and workout with me at the gym, she abruptly cuts all contact... then like I said, she saw me the other day

[Provost Harrison]

Maybe you were chasing them Benny Hill style? That kind of women running away I approve of

[Provost Harrison]

"I'm not interested in dating right now but please don't think I'm telling you to stop talking to me"

And that is something women say and never mean...two weeks later they'll have a bloke and will have miraculously done a U-turn.

[Flubber]

A follow-up

Alby -- On here you come across as someone who is far too impressed by their own fitness level and body. It sometimes comes across as cocky and arrogant. If you act that way with women, they will get sick of you fast. You are fit. From what I have witnessed, a guy with your level of fitness can usually have women constantly approaching him IF HE IS NOT A COMPLETE IDIOT. It appears you are failing in this regard.

I recall having a friend who all the women considered attractive. It was funny to watch as each night he left with another hottie (or dated a great girl for months and months). He was polite, listened well. He knew that he looked good enough that all he had to do was "not blow it". So he was casual and didn't try too hard.

IMHO if you have a great body you should downplay it. They will notice it themselves and your goal should be to prove you are not a mindless gym monkey

[Flubber]

"I'm not interested in dating right now but please don't think I'm telling you to stop talking to me"...

I'm not interested in dating YOU EVER but please don't think I'm telling you to stop talking to me"...

Fixed!!

[Al B. Sure!]

Look the point is that she wanted to be friends then just cut me off like every other female... then when she runs into me again, she's suddenly cool with me. She's not important. She was just a recent case.

And I don't talk about myself much. My conversations with women are usually me asking them questions and having them do most of the talking. This is something that I've literally had a team of my friends (male and female) try to figure out and it's inexplicable... no one can figure out what's going on. Even female friends try to hook me up with their girlfriends who expressed a lot of interest in me and somehow, they run away but no explanation is offered even to the mutual friend.

There's been a concerted effort to get me a girlfriend that has failed miserably. This is reaching a Ben Stiller romantic comedy proportions.

[Cort Haus]

Perhaps you could hire some ladies of negotiable affection to honestly say what might be unattractive about you.

[BlackCat]

Even female friends try to hook me up with their girlfriends

This is bad

[DriXnaK]

You're a butter knife instead of a straight edge. You come off as weak.

[BlackCat]

This is bad

Just to clarify :

either your GF's are already married/in serious relationships and just want others to be the same OR they want to export you to some third tier gf that they really don't care about, but if they take you, well, fine.

Al, my guess is that you are too nice (no, you should not start beating your girlfriends ) - be yourself instead of being what you think they want you to be.

[Al B. Sure!]

I don't know what myself is Seriously though, I don't knowingly try to be different. I think I'm always me. Of course, no man is always the same and I have evolved over the years.

I'm realizing that this isn't going to help. People who know me in real life are flummoxed by my failures. You all won't be able to do any better.