Me thinks I have chronic depression.

[Wiglaf]

What a whine thread. News flash: It is normal to get worried and anxious when you take a crap job that you're about to lose. Stop blaming the gay oppressor and get some real job skills.

[Jon Miller]

Success is a confidence booster.

JM

[MrFun]

Asher, I read both of your posts and appreciate what you've shared. It's funny that you mentioned the high rate of depression among gays, because in trying to figure out where I'm getting my depression from, I never thought about the stresses of living in a heterosexist and homophobic society. Now, I have experienced this kind of stress often enough over the years, but I don't think it is a cause for my depression. Once I get therapy, I'm sure I will find out what the source is - I may be shocked by what I find out.

As for that douche who was your psychiatrist, I am going to make damn sure that whoever I see is accepting of gays. I will just have to be up front about this with him/her right away, rather than risk having wasted my time.

Your story about how your medication improved other aspects of your life gives me hope. But, each individual is different - so I need to be careful, and not set my hopes up too high.

I missed exercising on a regular basis, but between full-time work, and full-time grad school . . . well, there has to be a way I can squeeze in some short scheduled time for something simple.

[Heraclitus]

My best friend suffers from depression and medication has helped him greatly.

[MrFun]

That's good to hear, Hera. Thumbs up for your friend.

[Japher]

The fact that you are facing this and wanting to defeat it says to me that your spirit is strong and that means you are not as in bad a place as you think. Make sure not to withdraw yourself, avoid alcohol, and exercise as much as you can. That and stay positive. One thing I like to tell myself when I am faced with difficult situations, when I have to exit my comfort zone, or face those things about me that I hate to face is "fear is faith that the devil is right." The devils is not right, especially not about you. You are a good person who is loved by many, even if not always by yourself. Have faith in the lord, in yourself, and you God.

Best of luck.

[MrFun]

The fact that you are facing this and wanting to defeat it says to me that your spirit is strong and that means you are not as in bad a place as you think. Make sure not to withdraw yourself, avoid alcohol, and exercise as much as you can. That and stay positive. One thing I like to tell myself when I am faced with difficult situations, when I have to exit my comfort zone, or face those things about me that I hate to face is "fear is faith that the devil is right." The devils is not right, especially not about you. You are a good person who is loved by many, even if not always by yourself. Have faith in the lord, in yourself, and you God.

Best of luck.

Thank you for these thoughts. Your point about alcohol - a couple months ago, I decided to buy a bottle of wine while grocery shopping, thinking I might start keeping a bottle in my home on a regular basis.

Then later, I got hit by another bad bout of depression and I realized that alcohol would be bad to keep at home as it would only compound my problems. So I stopped keeping alcohol at home before it became a new habit.

I try to avoid withdrawing by keeping in regular contact with friends and family by phone and e-mail. There are three close friends I can really talk with about stuff like this. I also go to a local Metropolitan Community Church, and belong to a dining-out gay social group. On that note, tonight I had called all five of my siblings, one by one, and talked with them for the first time about this. I told my mother a couple weeks ago.

[Berzerker]

booze has become a habit for me, I usually dont care much about the hard stuff and beer just dont inspire me. But this winter I've been downing mixed drinks.

[SlowwHand]

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?


Breathe!

[Berzerker]

I wish I had a taste for wine, turns out the stuff is good for ya

[Japher]

Is there a Celebrate Recovery type group at your church?

[MrFun]

No, there isn't. But maybe our local gay community center has something like that. Or I'm sure if I ask the pastor, he may know about such a program.

[Berzerker]

[ricketyclik]

My Mum is severely bipolar, and is far better off on meds than without. However, they do have unpleasant side effects.

Now, I know that clinical depression is a different kettle of fish than run of the mill depression, but for me I've always found, as Berzerker has just said, that regular cardiovascular exercise does wonders for keeping my mood on an even keel.

[Wernazuma III]

Mr. Fun, I can really feel with you. You seem to have a psyche quite similar to mine. Maybe it's not a gay thing but a Historian thing?
I used to suffer from depressions from time to time ever since I got into puberty, especially in times of changes - going abroad, finishing school/starting to study.
My relation with my wife and my children blew away the depressions for 7 years, when they eventually came back and hit hard about a year ago, after finishing my Ph.D. You may find my thread on the issue doing an Off-Topic search. After starting to have suicidial thoughts (I didn't really plan any step, but as a distant thought it was there), I got on mild medications for 2 months. Doing exercises helped (biking). Sun and fresh air helps.
In the meanwhile I decided to start studying again, now I'm becoming a High School/College teacher. I'm fine with me again now.

For me, going on medication for the immediate crisis while working out a future-strategy I could live with was a very good approach. I know from my personality that depression may well come back some day, but I'm just not open for a real psychotherapy and hope my surrounding will help me to get over any possible future crisis.