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I didn't think this would ever happen but I have just spotted a rat in my work office. I have fired employees in the past for not wearing ties and now I have a rodent running around naked and coming close to our feet as we try to do our important government jobs. He has left everything from feces to lettuce on the floor. 
Yesterday a jew lobbyist volunteered to help us kill the rat. He walked around with a baseball bat in the middle of my office, spotted something that looked like a rat and took a swing that somehow managed to hit his own forehead. As he screamed bloody menorah, my scheduler joked that both jews and llobbyists are like rats, so maybe we had taken care of a rat after all. I high fived him. The lobbyist then began berating the scheduler for being a man in a woman's job, which is like so true. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the rat scurry off, a twinkle in his eye, another notch in his belt that has sewn so much chaos and confusion in our office.
I want him dead. I want to fumigate. I want to kill everyone in the office if it means I get the rat. What do I do? A friend told me to buy a Shamwow, but it is not clear what that would accomplish. Is it any different from SlapChop? I figured I could kill something with a SlapChop if I had it at the right angle.
Yesterday a jew lobbyist volunteered to help us kill the rat. He walked around with a baseball bat in the middle of my office, spotted something that looked like a rat and took a swing that somehow managed to hit his own forehead. As he screamed bloody menorah, my scheduler joked that both jews and llobbyists are like rats, so maybe we had taken care of a rat after all. I high fived him. The lobbyist then began berating the scheduler for being a man in a woman's job, which is like so true. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the rat scurry off, a twinkle in his eye, another notch in his belt that has sewn so much chaos and confusion in our office.
I want him dead. I want to fumigate. I want to kill everyone in the office if it means I get the rat. What do I do? A friend told me to buy a Shamwow, but it is not clear what that would accomplish. Is it any different from SlapChop? I figured I could kill something with a SlapChop if I had it at the right angle.
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