Healthcare Reform Thread II

[DinoDoc]

It's going to pass.

It will take the Democrats with it. I still hope you are wrong though. Sadly, you're probably right and I'm reduced to putting my hope into the legal system to kill this abomination of a bill.

[Drake Tungsten]

Pelosi's going to get enough votes, won't have to use deem and pass, and the judicial system therefore won't get involved. Game over, man...

[MrFun]

I have an idea on how we can reorganize our political party system. Remove Republotards from the Republican party, and the Demotards from the Democratic party. This should dramatically improve both parties.

[DinoDoc]

Pelosi's going to get enough votes, won't have to use deem and pass, and the judicial system therefore won't get involved. Game over, man...

Can Obama give that many rides on Air Force One by sunday?

[Ming]

Since the Healthcare bill is such a joke... it's only appropriate that this thread includes a collection of jokes about it.

"If conservatives get to call universal healthcare 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private, for-profit healthcare 'soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.'" --Bill Maher

"President Obama is turning up the pressure on Congress to pass this health care reform. In fact, he's telling Democrats, if they don't vote for this bill, he will go out and campaign for them in November." -Jay Leno

"It looks like Democrats have their 60 votes for healthcare. Harry Reid said the bill will save us hundreds of millions of dollars. Well, it would have, except for the hundreds of millions of dollars we had to pay to buy the 60 votes." –Jay Leno

"The healthcare bill won't have a public option. But Obama was like, 'The public option is not the most important aspect' of the healthcare bill because 'only a few million people' would benefit from it. And then a few million people were like 'Ummm . . . we can hear you.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"The health care overhaul will extend coverage to 30 million people who are uninsured, or, as Walmart calls them, employees." –Jimmy Fallon

"In Washington, it looks like the Senate is almost done with the healthcare bill. Otherwise known as the Joe Lieberman Insurance Company Preservation Act." –Jay Leno

"President Obama says that Congress is very close to getting a new health care plan, but due to compromises, it 'won't include everything that everybody wants.' For instance, it covers everything except trips to the doctor or the hospital." –Conan O'Brien

"Not such a great day for the health care reform. The so-called public option died on the Senate floor today. It could have survived, but apparently it had a pre-existing condition." –Craig Ferguson

"There's a lot of controversy over this section of this new health care bill that says if you don't buy health insurance, you can go to jail for five years. They say it'll prevent freeloaders of the system. Yeah, but — well, if they do go to jail, won't they get free health care for five years?" –Jay Leno

"And the Postal Service announced last week the Post Office lost $3.8 billion last year. I've got a good idea. Let's put the government in charge of healthcare! Fantastic idea!" –Jay Leno

"The healthcare reform bill now includes a tanning booth tax of 10 percent. You know what this means? This whole thing could be funded by the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'" –Jay Leno

"Actually, to win passage for this health-care bill, President Obama went up to Capitol Hill and personally lobbied some of the wavering congressmen. And of course, the health insurance industry, they were very upset. You know, they said they bought and paid for these congressmen, he has no right to go up to them and talk to them." –Jay Leno

"Congressman John Boehner told a crowd of protesters yesterday that the new health care bill was the 'greatest threat to freedom he's ever seen.' And then the Taliban was like, 'Uh, helloooo? What?!'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Hey, the health care bill was introduced yesterday. It's 1,990 pages long and costs $894 billion dollars. Or $2.2 million per word. That makes them the most expensive words to come out of Washington since 'Mission Accomplished.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Washington Democrats unveiled their new 2,000-page health care reform bill today. It would guarantee health coverage for 96% of Americans. The other 4% would be given bus tickets to Canada." –Jay Leno

"You know what is worse than being sick and not having health insurance? Having to sit through the Lieberman filibuster that kept it from you." –Jon Stewart

"Well, here's some news. President Obama's healthcare plan passed the Senate Finance Committee this afternoon. Republicans are disappointed because they had their own version of the health plan. That was going to be swine flu masks and Purell." --David Letterman

"The big news was the Senate yesterday - the finance committee - rejected the Democrats' health-care plan, the one with the public option. Meanwhile, the Republicans are offering their own health-care plan. It's called, 'Stop Crying and Take an Advil.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Barack Obama has been working hard to push his healthcare proposal. Obama still wants the bill to be bipartisan, but he's a realist, and given the near unanimous Republican opposition he's facing, now says he'd be satisfied if the bill was just bicurious." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Today one of President Obama's advisers called Joe Wilson, the guy who heckled the president, 'a pimple on the ass of progress.' That's true. Yeah, then the adviser stressed that removing a pimple from the ass of progress would be covered under Obama's health care plan." --Conan O'Brien

"Republican Congressman Joe Wilson apologized for calling President Obama a liar during his speech on health care. Obama accepted Wilson's apology, and then invited him to appear before a death panel." –Conan O'Brien

"President Obama has been explaining his healthcare plan now to senior citizens. And yesterday, at a town hall meeting, he promised the crowd that he will not, quote, 'pull the plug on Grandma.' Then, there was an awkward moment when Grandpa stood up and booed." --Conan O'Brien

"President Obama says he will not support a health-care plan where the government gets to decide whether to, quote, 'pull the plug on Grandma.' Apparently, Obama's plan calls for the much quicker pillow option." --Conan O'Brien

"It does seem to me a tad ironic that Sarah Palin is so against killing old people considering that she's the one who smothered the life out of the McCain campaign." --Bill Maher, on Palin's opposition to the so-called "death panels" she claims are part of the health care reform bill

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

[Drake Tungsten]

It's sad that healthcare reform has lasted longer than Coco's run on the The Tonight Show.

[MrFun]

Love this one, Ming:

"President Obama is turning up the pressure on Congress to pass this health care reform. In fact, he's telling Democrats, if they don't vote for this bill, he will go out and campaign for them in November." -Jay Leno

[Ming]

Love this one, Ming:

This was one of my personal favorites...

"The health care overhaul will extend coverage to 30 million people who are uninsured, or, as Walmart calls them, employees." –Jimmy Fallon

[The Mad Monk]

"Congressman John Boehner told a crowd of protesters yesterday that the new health care bill was the 'greatest threat to freedom he's ever seen.' And then the Taliban was like, 'Uh, helloooo? What?!'" –Jimmy Fallon

All the Taliban did was wake us up. This thing will put us to sleep.

[DaShi]

What a bunch of whiny *****es.

[MrFun]

What a bunch of whiny *****es.

And here you are, WHINING about people who whine.

[DinoDoc]

Pelosi's going to get enough votes, won't have to use deem and pass, and the judicial system therefore won't get involved. Game over, man...

Justified hope or hot air?

analysis of the votes cast for and against the rule, together with an examination of members’ public statements and political situations, suggests that the House leadership is still significantly short of 216 votes on final passage, and that opponents of the view have a reservoir of potential noes from more than the 38 Democrats needed to defeat the measure.

http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/blogs/beltway-confidential/Projections-from-the-Houses-deem-to-pass-roll-call--88465682.html

[Drake Tungsten]

Hot air...

Anti-abortion Dems working on a vote deal

Stupak Ready to Deal?

Rep. Boccieri flips to support healthcare bill

[DinoDoc]

Hot air...

Anti-abortion Dems working on a vote deal

Stupak Ready to Deal?

I don't really see these negotiations accomplishing much assuming these Dems are actually serious about standing up for principle. Because unless a deal can be made to have the Senate vote for abortion funding restrictions they already voted down a seperate vote deal accomplishes nothing. The Stupak Dems best option at this point is to vote no on the bill if they are serious about standing up for the principle they claim to be defending.

[Kuciwalker]

I thought the consensus was an abortion amendment wouldn't be possible through reconciliation.