The astoundingly prescient "Asher makes predictions about other posters" thread

[Guynemer]

Do your worst, you pansy Canuck.

[Wiglaf]

How about that twist in 24 yesterday? am i right?

Also please tell me if you think I'm gay and if so where I should go SHOPPING.

[Guynemer]

A combination of a twist that makes absolutely zero sense and the return of Kim mother****ing Bauer make that the worst 24 of the season.

Yes, you are flaming homosexual gay; you should go shopping where all the trannies go. I don't know, Old Navy?

[Wiglaf]

I'm richer than that, It'd be Gap if anything.

The twist made perfect sense. The hot guy who whispers alot wanted the bioweapon. He got it and framed Starkwood. I nearly jizzed at the brilliance.

[Dinner]

Do your worst, you pansy Canuck.

He no doubt has something interesting to say even if it might not be accurate.

[Krill]

He's a lumberjack and he's OK...

[Theben]

[I]Bleach Boys

I would've posted that if I could find a decent video...

[Asher]

I did this very quickly. And most aren't even mean!

Lazarus and the Gimp: Will become a published but completely disrespected alt-history author with a compendium of nonsense that will challenge John Hodgman in the bookstores

-Jrabbit: Blackhawks season ticket holder and the only person over 70 with a pony tail. Known to harass local children with unsolicited stories about the good ol' days when music actually mattered.

Solomwi: Moves away from Alabama (I think you live in Alabama?). He got Canadian citizenship until he realized he was now old and the health care system sucked, so he moved to Portland, Oregon where he went to buy a mattress from a dashing young man and then had a Brokeback Mountain experience and was never seen again.

Krill: Institutionalized and classified as a Dangerous Offender with no chance of parole. He was most famous for his OCD-fueled desire to be the last person ever to touch all of the apples in a supermarket, and when the other patrons got in his way repeatedly he became fed up and began systematically decapitating anyone who got near his damn apples.

Guynemer: Became the Team Doctor for the Detroit Red Wings for a few years until he was sued for malpractice by a 74-year Chris Chelios who insisted he could've played another season if Guynemer didn't sever a tendon by accident.

Wiglaf: First gay president of the United States. He appointed as his vice-president a gay, but more masculine, Canadian to offset his portray as a feminine aggressive powerbottom. Buoyed by the vast increase in public support directly related to his outstanding selection of a Vice President, he became the first President ever elected to ten straight terms (having had the term limits abolished by a movement started by violent protests demanding 4 more years), and was most famous for outlawing "Cross-stream" (Hetero) marriage and making heterocoitus both a crime and a new first-class insult.

Oerdin: Was trying to brew his own beer in his basement, and was killed in the year 2011 when he went to go check on his bottles and was impaled with a glass shard AS IT EXPLODED IN A GLORIOUS HAIL OF GLASS.

[Krill]

Krill: Institutionalized and classified as a Dangerous Offender with no chance of parole. He was most famous for his OCD-fueled desire to be the last person ever to touch all of the apples in a supermarket, and when the other patrons got in his way repeatedly he became fed up and began systematically decapitating anyone who got near his damn apples.

**** Yeah Now to make sure that I get canadian citizenship.

[Wiglaf]

Asher let's run away and be gay pirates together. With your wit and my schlong we will get all the booty in Somalia

[Jaguar]

Asher, what is your prediction for me?

[Solomwi]

Lemon party with Boris? The wife may be a little disappointed, though.

Strong work all around.

[-Jrabbit]

Let me tell you about the time I went golfing with Rex and Vinnie from Pantera...

[Theben]

Asher, what is your prediction for me?

I thought you didn't post here anymore.

[Asher]

Jaguar will be eschewing silly games, which is to say he will not be in a relationship with a woman. His bedroom walls will be adorned with pictures of Mandy Moore and Taylor Hanson. He went to Havard, Yale, and Princeton with degrees in Polynesian Courtship, History, and Tic-tac-toe, respectively. These degrees gave him an outstandingly long career as a bureaucrat with the Ministry of Unsilly Games for the Maryland Government.