Women never cease to confuse me

[Kidlicious]

This might help

Factsheet: Co-dependency

[rah]

I'll bet she does the latter and you'll believe it's the former.

[Lorizael]

Originally posted by Kidicious
This might help

Factsheet: Co-dependency

A webpage is not going to cure me of years and years of psychological trouble.

Originally posted by rah
I'll bet she does the latter and you'll believe it's the former.

A possibility I've already considered and cannot discount, but if I make that assumption and do nothing instead, the situation won't change any.

And, of course, if I go confront her and then come back and say she told me the truth and all is well, no one here on Apolyton will actually believe me. But then, I don't really need you guys to, so it doesn't particularly matter.

[Tuberski]

Originally posted by Lorizael
I'd like some way to know that for sure. You guys can provide all the insight in the world through your own anecdotes, but I can't really know except through her. Of course, I don't rate the chances of her telling me this straight out as being very high.

Which brings me to a simple decision. As I've said on more than one occasion in the past, I'm a pretty ****ed up guy. Part of me being ****ed up expresses itself through very strict rules on how I interact with humans.

For example, I cannot ignore other humans that I believe are actually trying to communicate* with me. This would be the main reason I keep hovering around Jane; every once in awhile she does.

Another rule is that I completely ignore and avoid anyone who refuses to communicate with me.

So, by following my own principles, I can bring things to a head. I can confront her with all of this **** and demand she explain her actions to me. If she honestly and meaningfully tells me what's been going on, then I'll go from there. If she still makes excuses and doesn't really say anything one way or the other, then I will follow Poly's advice and stop talking to her completely.

* By communicate I don't mean exchanging greetings and asking about the other's day. Communication, to me, is about transmitting information about yourself to another person in a way that makes sure the other person understands things from your point of view. I view communication to be an immensely difficult feat to pull off, and I accomplish it on regular basis with only four people.

By your definition, she hasn't communicated with you in the last year.

Answer this question, if this was a guy, would you still bother trying to communicate with him?

If the answer is no, let her go.(Johnny Cochran)

ACK!

[rah]

Originally posted by Lorizael
A possibility I've already considered and cannot discount, but if I make that assumption and do nothing instead, the situation won't change any.

And, of course, if I go confront her and then come back and say she told me the truth and all is well, no one here on Apolyton will actually believe me. But then, I don't really need you guys to, so it doesn't particularly matter.

True. But I'll cut you some slack since you're aware that you may perceive it that way so you'll be more critical.

[Lorizael]

Originally posted by Tuberski
By your definition, she hasn't communicated with you in the last year.

Answer this question, if this was a guy, would you still bother trying to communicate with him?

If the answer is no, let her go.(Johnny Cochran)

ACK!

A compelling argument.

[Lancer]

Originally posted by Ninot


Just curious, are many filipina's very religious?

Yes, many are, some aren't. Mostly catholic.

[Ninot]

Can I get one that isn't? That would be sweet.

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Lorizael
A webpage is not going to cure me of years and years of psychological trouble.

One Day at a Time. A didn't expect it to cure you. I said it might help.

[LordShiva]

She's in Boston, huh? Send me her picture, and find out what bars/clubs she goes to.

[Lorizael]

My friend is in Boston. Jane is not. She goes to school in Providence.

[LordShiva]

Oh.

Stop calling/texting, and don't respond when she calls/texts. She has low self-esteem, and uses your eagerness to communicate to help with that. She doesn't want to boink you, because she sees you in a low value role, and boinking you would reduce her perception of self-worth.

[Lorizael]

You guys keep telling me that I should stop calling/texting her. Since she called me at the end of the summer last year, here's my history of communication with her:

In December, when she was home for winter break, I called her to see if she'd finished a book I had lent her over the summer.

In January, when I went to visit my friend in Boston, I texted Jane.

In June, on her birthday, I texted her saying happy birthday.

That's it. I think about Jane from time to time because I obsess over everything in my life, especially the females, but I'm not exactly feeding her self esteem here.

[Cort Haus]

"Exciting"

This was where you went wrong in your communications with her. Did you send her an smiley too?

Play hard-to-get, or don't play at all as far as Jane goes.

[Lorizael]

I only ever use the word "exciting" in a sarcastic sense. That's why there's no exclamation point at the end. The people I talk to regualrly know this ... she might not.