Wedding gift suggestions

[Alinestra Covelia]

My bro got married a while back, and I didn't get him anything at the time, though I went to his apartment and helped him move in, etc. I've visited them twice and they're doing great. I'll be visiting them again in late summer and I want to get him something nice. His wife has a keen sense of humor and seems to tolerate my inherent silliness.

This year my brother will have his own place at last and will be able to put holes in the ceiling. I'm thinking of getting him one of these.

My mother says she doesn't think this is a good idea. Is it proper to blow the surprise and ask my brother outright? I think he'd take it well but not so sure about the wife...

[Riesstiu IV]

Get him strippers as a belated bachelor's party surprise.

[Alinestra Covelia]

But strippers are only good for one application. The sex swing will keep on giving.

[Grandpa Troll]

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia
But strippers are only good for one application. The sex swing will keep on giving.

I knew some strippers that would keep on giving, as long as the college funds kept flowing

[Alinestra Covelia]

Originally posted by Grandpa Troll
I knew some strippers that would keep on giving, as long as the college funds kept flowing

SHHHHH! You promised you wouldn't tell!

[Thoth]

Get him the swing.

If the wife objects, get him a whip and a leather mask for his next birthday.

[Riesstiu IV]

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia
But strippers are only good for one application. The sex swing will keep on giving.

Fine get the swing but invite Pekka to help build it.

[Grandpa Troll]

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia



SHHHHH! You promised you wouldn't tell!

Girlfriend, if ya just talked that way to me like you post, heck, like the old saying, a Cold Glass of water and a hot piece of @ZZ would kill me, shoot, I would be in palpitations.

I am practically a harmless old man

[Pekka]

Yes I've got nothing to do so I can set up a swing or two no problemo. I can do it naked too.

[Riesstiu IV]

You won't try to force people to touch your wiener, will you?

[Pekka]

No. I'm not an animal. I'm an artist. OK this is what most people don't get. Turntablism at its best is the manipulation of time. You move the records back and forth, you create new patterns of beats and give birth to a third song, you mix reality into a whole new super reality and the key is the manipulation of time. Get it? So that's art. That's real art.

Now I manipulate what you see. I might flex a muscle, I might bust a dance move. All in what God gave me, pure and simple and in plain sight. It's beautiful. So as I set up the swing, it's for the pleasure and fun for the new couple and for their prosperous future together, but what makes it true love is me doing it naked for them, that's art combined, that's love. It's not just some nude dude hammering away, it's freaking heavenly act. Schopenhauer said the only escape from the misery and pain that is life is art. Through art you can escape the desire that burns inside you, that eventually will make your life miserable. So you either have to kill yourself and just become depressed in order to kill the desire, to become truly free and thus saved. But the other escape is art.

Now love is the ultimate desire. This new couple has it, to bring them art as well and a gift of love so you can make more love, I mean that's just beautiful. That's why I call it heavenly act. It's the manifestation of all that is good in the same package. If AC wants to give the swing to them, it might be funny, and AC could be seen as a funny sister. But if I am invited to set it up naked for them, that makes her Goddess.

[LordShiva]

Give him a box of cookies with tonsil cheese on them

[Alinestra Covelia]

He may possibly be wise to that trick... although to be fair, she probably won't

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

A framed picture of this.

[onodera]

How are you going to measure his wife?