Wedding gift suggestions

[Pekka]

Hurts and More.

Most are Hurts.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

You could hire Pekka to come over and be an emotional wreck down the bottom of the garden, like an unusually volatile hermit.

[Pekka]

naked emotional wreck.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

See? He's a bargain at any price.

[Pekka]

No no, I'll do it for free. Van Gogh once said, "I tell you, the more I think, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people."

I'll do it for free. Salvation of the self and others is priceless but I have decided it should cost nothing. Priceless usually is attached to a number, contradictory to the original statement it is just a way of saying it is very expensive. To me, priceless is not worthless, it is the highest value but for free. I will offer salvation to anyone seeking it but myself. I have to struggle so I can keep steady in my chosen path of saving others. This suffering of boredom, meaningless lives, corrupted minds. I will save them all with my art of being naked for that is the truth of the self and I will show it to everyone. This is to say that I will offer truth, nothing more, nothing less. For free.

[Alinestra Covelia]

Neighbor: What's that?

Bro: Oh, just a naked crazy person.

Pekka: The profound philosophical quasi-pseudo-semi-religious dialogical reificate inherent in the Derridan narrative frame is so funny it makes me want to crap my pants, wipe it on the windows, and run naked through the hallowed halls of Congress with my arms in the air hooting and gibbering like a madman.

Neighbor: It talks, too. Where did you get it?

Bro: My sister sent it to me.

Neighbor: ...

Bro: As a wedding gift.

Neighbor: ...

Bro: Except my wife won't let me keep it in the house. She said it gives her the willies.

Neighbor: How... nice. Is it male or female?

Pekka: Wavey wavey penis dance! Wavey wavey penis dance!

Bro: I believe you have your answer.

[Pekka]

Best gift ever.

[germanos]

Originally posted by Thoth
Get him the swing.

If the wife objects, get him a whip and a leather mask for his next birthday.

silly presents

[Alinestra Covelia]

So given that you're behind a firm ****, Germanos, do you have your finger in the ****?

[germanos]

The ****s usually don't leak when I'm around, let alone I get to spot the hole

[Alinestra Covelia]

Okay, the plan is dead.

Rather than risking offense, I called him up and asked him straight out. He thought it was a good idea, if a bit weird. Then I told him we need his wife's consent and her measurements.

He went to get them.

And came back to the phone with bad news.

"We've got some opposition," he said.

Ah well. I might get them something tame. Like a grappling hook.

[-Jrabbit]

I know you're free-spirited and all that, AliCo, but this surprised me. It's a REALLY personal type of gift. And it being given to a brother, there's a certain "ewww" factor (viewed from an outside perspective). Sex and associated toys are for the bachelor party, not the wedding.

"Hi again, bro. Hey, I really like your wife. BTW, how's the boinking? Good I hope. Speaking of which, here's a token of my wish for your increased sexual pleasure -- or perhaps, my belief that you guys need help in the bedroom. You decide. Oh, and I expect a full report."

Just out of curiosity, do you have personal experience with this device that made you think this was a good idea?

[Wiglaf]

Wow, AC is really weird.

[Theben]

With holes in the ceiling you should get several 3-D ceiling cats.

[Alinestra Covelia]

They do like cats...