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  • #16
    Originally posted by Tuberski


    I didn't know you had told your parents.

    ACK!
    I told them back in 2002
    "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
    Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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    • #17
      It matters what Ninot thinks is important in life. Maybe having kids the natural way is important to him, in which case he has to tread carefully.

      That said, there are many situations where age doesn't much matter in the grand scheme of things. My secretary is married to a guy 20 years her junior. It's a happy marriage. I think there going on two decades of marriage now.

      Agree with all of the negative opinions about living with parents.
      I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891

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      • #18
        Originally posted by SlowwHand



        Yeah, blame the parents. It was going to end. The parents didn't end it.
        Like I said, my parents were supportive of me untill they met her. That's when something changed for them, and they made it clear to me.

        Yeah, I agree, living with parents is a mistake at this point. I wouldn't care at all what they would have said about her if it weren't for the fact that I was already conscious of it being a relationship that I didnt want to go on forever.

        From the get go, my girl and I had recognized that it was a relationship that logically had to end at some point. Although she, for a lack of a better word, loved me, she wanted someone closer to her own age and experience who could help her with raising her children (sorry, neglected to mention that before). I met her kids and thought they were amazing, but by no means did I think I knew how to raise or handle them. And in a very big way, I want to go through raising kids from day one as well, which wasn't going to happen with her.

        But back to the parents thing. Yeah, if I weren't living with them, I wouldn't hear their opinion and things would likely keep going. She was introduced to them because in some way, we were carrying on more like it was a relationship than a fling, and we were both starting to meet more and more of the others relations. But even though I don't rely on my parents opinions to run my life, their opinions do matter to me, and when they helped to highlight some of my own thoughts, I couldn't just keep on going knowing that what I was doing was disturbing to them. They at no point told me what to do, but knowing that I was upsetting them bothered me greatly.
        Resident Filipina Lady Boy Expert.

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        • #19
          This is apolyton, what do you expect from folks What's the old saying... Your dad is always right until you're 12, then he's never right until you're 30, and then he's always right again?
          <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
          I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Ninot


            Like I said, my parents were supportive of me untill they met her. That's when something changed for them, and they made it clear to me.

            Yeah, I agree, living with parents is a mistake at this point. I wouldn't care at all what they would have said about her if it weren't for the fact that I was already conscious of it being a relationship that I didnt want to go on forever.

            From the get go, my girl and I had recognized that it was a relationship that logically had to end at some point. Although she, for a lack of a better word, loved me, she wanted someone closer to her own age and experience who could help her with raising her children (sorry, neglected to mention that before). I met her kids and thought they were amazing, but by no means did I think I knew how to raise or handle them. And in a very big way, I want to go through raising kids from day one as well, which wasn't going to happen with her.

            But back to the parents thing. Yeah, if I weren't living with them, I wouldn't hear their opinion and things would likely keep going. She was introduced to them because in some way, we were carrying on more like it was a relationship than a fling, and we were both starting to meet more and more of the others relations. But even though I don't rely on my parents opinions to run my life, their opinions do matter to me, and when they helped to highlight some of my own thoughts, I couldn't just keep on going knowing that what I was doing was disturbing to them. They at no point told me what to do, but knowing that I was upsetting them bothered me greatly.
            Maybe you can keep her on speed-dial for teh booty calls
            THEY!!111 OMG WTF LOL LET DA NOMADS AND TEH S3D3NTARY PEOPLA BOTH MAEK BITER AXP3REINCES
            AND TEH GRAAT SINS OF THERE [DOCTRINAL] INOVATIONS BQU3ATH3D SMAL
            AND!!1!11!!! LOL JUST IN CAES A DISPUTANT CALS U 2 DISPUT3 ABOUT THEYRE CLAMES
            DO NOT THAN DISPUT3 ON THEM 3XCAPT BY WAY OF AN 3XTARNAL DISPUTA!!!!11!! WTF

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by snoopy369
              This is apolyton, what do you expect from folks What's the old saying... Your dad is always right until you're 12, then he's never right until you're 30, and then he's always right again?
              My dad is still always right

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Kuciwalker


                My dad is still always right
                You've always struck me as a "yes man".
                "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by Ninot
                  who could help her with raising her children (sorry, neglected to mention that before).
                  children, huh? well that kind of changes things
                  Co-Founder, Apolyton Civilization Site
                  Co-Owner/Webmaster, Top40-Charts.com | CTO, Apogee Information Systems
                  giannopoulos.info: my non-mobile non-photo news & articles blog

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by snoopy369
                    I think a lot of you are making assumptions that you know of the specific details... particularly given that Ninot indicated that it was probably ending anyway:
                    Early in the evening, I called her and told her what we had talked about, and while she wasn't exactly pleased, she agreed with the conclusions made. We chatted about it a bit more, and we both agreed that it was a good excuse to end something we otherwise would both have postponed ending.


                    IOW, for undisclosed reasons it wasn't going to work out (I could imagine plenty - she's too old to have kids safely, being the main one [downs syndrome risk is very high >35] and plenty of others - what if she was a Leafs fan, even ) and the parents bringing it up made that clear, even if their rational was silly.

                    I'm all on board with the "tell your parents to screw off if they interfere with your relationship" folks generally, but I don't think that's what happened here... sometimes parents are useful for providing an unbiased opinion on things that you're too close to see

                    So, Ninot, if I read this correctly - Good luck finding your way and it sounds like you're a good guy in any event, older women usually won't put up with a younger guy for long if they're not mature and caring; so you're going to find someone else, and have a great life with her
                    +1
                    Captain of Team Apolyton - ISDG 2012

                    When I was younger I thought curfews were silly, but now as the daughter of a young woman, I appreciate them. - Rah

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Ninot
                      And in a very big way, I want to go through raising kids from day one as well, which wasn't going to happen with her.
                      And I want a Porsche.

                      If it is the right person - none of the excuses matter.

                      The age diffeence wouldn't matter to you, nor would your parents opinion, nor would her already having kids.
                      I don't know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last moments he loved life more than he ever had before. Not just his life - anybody's life, my life. All he'd wanted were the same answers the rest of us want. Where did I come from? Where am I going? How long have I got? All I could do was sit there and watch him die.

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                      • #26
                        Did you steal the pooty from a single mom?
                        "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
                        "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Wezil
                          Did you steal the pooty from a single mom?
                          WTF is pooty?

                          I mean, I heard of Astronauts drinking Tang traveling around the world and land on the Moon, but never pooty.

                          I heard of bandits taking the loot of the booty, but never bandits taking the pooty?

                          I heard of petting the purty pottey tat, but never petting a single moms pooty?

                          Is Pooty something you can taste with the tongue?

                          Maybe eat or at least nobble or chew on with lips or teeth?

                          Is Pooty salty or sweet?

                          Do you roll pooty on a board or pound pooty into a pud(ing) like mess?

                          Is it odorless or does it have that strange bit heavanly scent some men yearn for like apiece of hot apple pie (as in American Pie)

                          Ok, just seeing if maybe it was a starch like corn, that you can see when you eat it?

                          Thanks if ya can answer these questions

                          Gramps
                          Hi, I'm RAH and I'm a Benaholic.-rah

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Asher
                            You've always struck me as a "yes man".
                            Well, SOMEBODY needs to strike you. You'd get out of hand real fast otherwise.
                            1011 1100
                            Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                            • #29
                              I hit back, and I specialize in hitting artsy people. Be warned, Elok!
                              "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                              Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Update:

                                I had a long talk with her last night, very long. We truly care for each other, I think. I didn't want to leave her place at all, but I just felt I had to. All the same, we were texting back and forth all last night. Finally, she was insisting that it couldn't end like this, and with the feelings I was feeling, I couldn't argue.

                                I think I'm going to talk to my parents and attempt to arrange something so I can keep seeing her. They both knew I wasn't happy to end things with her and it will probably make sense to them that atleast in the short term, this is something I feel I need to do. My parents aren't the type to put their foot down when its futile, so we'll probably all be happy if I can continue on as long as they aren't confronted with it regularly.
                                Resident Filipina Lady Boy Expert.

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