Why is it that when I need to buy more TP, I always forget it so I have to come back to just buy TP. And I can't just buy TP. Thjat's like "Ohh you're going home to take a big dump, aren't ya?". So I have to get other stuff too then, just to be kind of less obvious. But that makes me look even more stupid because everyone knows I'm buying that other stuff, like the key chain and plastic bag and a snickers bar just to... well OK.
I'll give you some practical advice.
Go into the supermarket, and buy nothing except a carrot (a nice fat carrot) and a tub of Vaseline. Seriously.
And see what happens at the checkout.
There could be nothing more incriminating than a carrot and jar of Vaseline, so you will then understand the worst which can happen.
And if you've started enjoying this game, immediately go to returns and say "Wait, I've decided I don't need this Vaseline after all. I do still want the carrot though".
And see what happens.
And then write up a half page report on apolyton!
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