I'm a dick.

[Thoth]

Emo Phillips

· A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..."

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Oerdin
Crude but necissary I think. I just want them to go away to their temples/churches and stop bothering decent people, like myself, whilst we are trying to enjoy our lives.

A well-dressed, young Mormon man approached me one time at a convenience store; while his buddies were filling up their car, and I was filling up mine, he walked over to me, and immediately I thought "okay, here we go . . . ."

It's been a long time since this encounter, but what I do remember, is that he started telling me, right there at the pump, about how Mormons seek to include all people who are willing to embrace Jesus Christ.

I remained civil with him, but I pointed out to him face-to-face that I'm gay and so I doubt Mormons would look too kindly on the fact that I positively accept myself as a gay man.

At this moment, he kept glancing away from me, to avoid eye contact at first, trying to find the right words to say and then he said something along the lines of "well, if you ever want to seriously repent, we would welcome you with open hearts."

I just nodded in expaseration (spelling?) and said, "I have nothing to repent for; I'm a faithful Christian and my belief in God tells me that as long as I do not forget the fundamental teachings of Jesus Christ and do my best to treat others the way I would like to be treated, I have not violated my faith in God." Not exact words probably from memory, but there you go.

I then quickly ended the conversation as I put the fuel pump away and told him to have a nice day as I walked into the store to pay for my gas.

[Provost Harrison]

Re: I'm a dick.

Originally posted by Oerdin
So I went to one of my favorite sandwhich shops today to get a turkey sandwhich (it was very nice with roast turkey, crisp bacon, and avocado, on toasted rye bread). When a two young ladies and a guy, all dressed in suits, walked up to me:

Mormons: Have you heard the good news about Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints?

Me: Yes, but have you heard of the revulations of Lord Buddha and the path to enlightenment?

Mormons: I have but did you know that you can only reach heaven through the teachings of Christ and the Mormon church?

Me: I heard certain people claim that. I think they're stupid weak minded fools unable to accept reality.

Mormons: Does that mean you're Buddhist?

Me: No, I think all religious dogma is bull**** but you were bothering me with religious dogma while I was trying to have lunch so I thought I'd bother you with equally absurd religious dogma as well.

Mormons: Don't you want to enter the kingdom of heaven?

Me: No, because it is a fantasy made up by weak minded people like yourselves who cannot accept that there is no life after death. So **** off and let me eat my sandwhich.

To their credit they even wished me a nice day after that. I just hate these ****ers bothering me on my time off trying to force their religious bull**** on me.

Too damn right

[DanS]

I've found that being polite but firm is more effective. It's about like dealing with folks asking for money on the street.

[Starchild]

Originally posted by DanS
I've found that being polite but firm is more effective. It's about like dealing with folks asking for money on the street.

I've found with both of these that pretending they're invisible and silent also works well.

[Zkribbler]

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia


You obviously haven't killed your favorite nurse at the asylum, bitten off her ring finger with her wedding ring still attached, and hidden that under a rock in the ground for access later then.

Give me the PRECIOUS!!

[VetLegion]

Originally posted by AAHZ
GAHAHAH! judge me by my present not by my potential??

Sig material.

[Dr Strangelove]

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia
I had lunch with a Mormon friend and he talked to me about his faith. He was actually really cool about it. There was no coercion about it - just a plain and simple conversation about Mormonism and a few memories of his marriage at the big cathedral in Salt Lake City. He gave me a Mormon bible and then moved on to talk about other things.

Compared to five years of Anglican force-feeding with thrice-weekly mandatory chapel services, this guy was much more civil.

My opinion of Mormons has been generally high, owing in part to this guy and also in part to Napoleon Dynamite.

What would you expect from a religious school? Have you ever gone to a Morman school?

[Dr Strangelove]

Originally posted by Tuberski


Mormons are not God fearing.

ACK!

I'm pretty sure he's using the word "fearing" in (one of) its pre-20th century meaings, i.e., believing, respecting, and/or heeding.

Moromons don't respect, heed and believe in, respect and heed God? Wow! Looks like Oerdin got his panties in a bunch for nothing.

[chequita guevara]

Oerdin handled this better than I did 13 years ago. I had just sat down with two Whoppers and this crazy lady walked up to me and began witnessing. I didn't want to be rude, so I listened to her for about an hour before I was able to get a word in and tell her I didn't believe in God. By then my food was cold.

[Wiglaf]

If you waited that long I wonder who's really the dumb one.

[chequita guevara]

I didn't say she was dumb, I said she was crazy.

[Wiglaf]

I'm not going to play footsie with you, just replace dumb with crazy and stop pestering Mormons, good day.

[Alinestra Covelia]

Originally posted by Wiglaf
I'm not going to play footsie with you, just replace dumb with crazy and stop pestering Mormons, good day.

This is quite possibly signature material. Well designed to provoke "WTF"s from people who haven't seen this thread.

[OneFootInTheGrave]

even from the people who have seen this thread