Part 2: What do gays PRIMARILY look for in their partners?

[ZEE]

i will let this stop here for risk of offending anybody/going too far. i have given my honest perspective to the OP based on my experiences in the gay community.

i congragulate you Asher on your successful relationship

but you really should log on to CraigsList and take a look at the men seeking men forum. the "gay paradise" theory is shot down fairly quickly

pieceâ„¢

[Flubber]

Originally posted by Spec
But MOST agreed.

Yes, or no?

Easy question. The answer is yes.

WE agreed because you defined "security" so broadly that it would encompass what 90% of women would want in a long term relationship

Its as if I said that 90% of women say cake* is their favorite food but cake is defined as including all fruits, vegetables, animal products and products that use any of these.

[Spec]

Originally posted by Arrian
Let's see, the one person in the thread playing along with Spec is AAHZ.

But the rest of us are the ones who are wrong. CLEARLY.



-Arrian

I am not saying people are wrong...wtf....I am saying people should sto[ talking with chop sticks and political correctness and be honest. Geeez....

Spec.

[Spec]

Originally posted by Arrian
By the way, Spec, I think this "most people agreed with me in the other thread" thing is a case of you seeing what you wanted to see.

-Arrian

Sure, whatever.

I suggest you re-read it.

Spec.

[Arrian]

Originally posted by Spec


I am not saying people are wrong...wtf....I am saying people should sto[ talking with chop sticks and political correctness and be honest. Geeez....

Spec.

I am being honest.

You seem hell bent on making sweeping generalizations about HOW THINGS WORK, and get all upset when people point out that generalizing about millions, nay, billions of people, has its problems. So how about you just get to the point and make your proclamation, whatever it is, already?

-Arrian

[Spec]

Originally posted by Arrian


I am being honest.

You seem hell bent on making sweeping generalizations about HOW THINGS WORK, and get all upset when people point out that generalizing about millions, nay, billions of people, has its problems. So how about you just get to the point and make your proclamation, whatever it is, already?

-Arrian

There is no point....I asked a question.

May you like it or not, generalizations is what should run this world. Efficiency, thats how my brain works. I dont bend shlt left and right just to please everyone, I do it the most efficient way, not because I am lazy (like you ) but because its a waiste of time to do otherwise. Probably why I am not a social worker but a business runner, and probably why I am so good at my job. I GENERALIZE because its a fact that BOYS LIKE BLUE AND GIRLS LIKE PINK IN GENERAL! FACT!

Why is it common knowledge that gold diggers are usually girls and not men? Why is it that guys, in general, like fast cars and girls dont care? Why do guys in general like to get drunk after 25 years old and girls not so much? Why are girls into baby showers and guys find it boring? Tell me that you dont agree with these generalizations and I will call you a liar.

And if these traits can be genaraly associated with one sex or another, then I can assume that we can associate relationship goals/desires in general for one sex or the other. Wether you like it or not, thats a fact, and this makes perfect sense.

Spec.

[Arrian]

You stated before you had an answer - you were "going somewhere" with all of this.

I simply asked that you spit it out.

-Arrian

[Sir Og]

As I see it what Spec is trying to say is that, although different women look for different things in men, security (as it was broadly defined) is in top 3 for 90% of the women in the age group that he specified.

[Q Classic]

Originally posted by AAHZ
i have never seen two twinks in a steady relationship

I've seen several, including one in which one of my best friends is in. For several years now, actually.

Yay for anecdotal evidence!

[Lorizael]

Originally posted by Spec
Why is it common knowledge that gold diggers are usually girls and not men? Why is it that guys, in general, like fast cars and girls dont care? Why do guys in general like to get drunk after 25 years old and girls not so much? Why are girls into baby showers and guys find it boring? Tell me that you dont agree with these generalizations and I will call you a liar.

Before you continue ranting in this vein, Spec, can I ask that you consider this point first?

Originally posted by Lorizael
There's a difference between a useful generalization and a stereotypical perception reinforced by society.

I think society reinforces the perception that men like tools, but I wouldn't actually make such a generalization.

[Wezil]

Originally posted by Arrian

I simply asked that you spit it out.

-Arrian

[Arrian]

Now for some of your FACT! proclamations:

Why is it common knowledge that gold diggers are usually girls and not men?

Social norms, at least in part. I have a niece who is a gold digger. She is that way because my sister raised her that way, because her mother (not mine, she's my half-sister) raised HER that way. Men existed to provide (financially) for her.

Is some of that biological? I've little doubt. But it's more than that. Ditto on boys liking blue and girls liking pink, and all the other things you mentioned. Do parents raise their little boys by buying them dolls with pink clothes to play with? No, they buy them cars and stuff. So any biological predisposition to liking cars over dolls is reinforced by the actions of the parents. So how do you distinguish between nature & nurture? I don't know that you can, unless you run some sort of experiment wherein you raise boys with girly toys and vice-versa.

-Arrian

[Spec]

Originally posted by Arrian
You stated before you had an answer - you were "going somewhere" with all of this.

I simply asked that you spit it out.

-Arrian

I dont have an ANSWER, I have an opinion. Since I cant even make you guys comprehend that there are general trait that women look for in men, and vice versa, EVENTHOUGH I made the other thread first, just to prove this point, I will not state my opinion. Its just no use. I am trying to talk about something in general, I dont care about your niece and what caused her to be a gold digger, she is one person....but in the mass, she is part of the % I am talking about. Thats what this thread is about, but for some reason, you are trying to make it otherwise.

Spec.

[Spec]

Originally posted by Lorizael


Before you continue ranting in this vein, Spec, can I ask that you consider this point first?

Ok, then why did it become stereotypical, Lori? Like since men walk the earth?

Is it stereotypical to call a lion a lazy ass that waits for the lionesse to bring in lunch? You better not say no. So why is it stereotypical to say that guys get in fights far more than women do for example?

Spec.

[Cort Haus]

Originally posted by Spec

BOYS LIKE BLUE AND GIRLS LIKE PINK IN GENERAL! FACT!

Why is it common knowledge that gold diggers are usually girls and not men? Why is it that guys, in general, like fast cars and girls dont care? Why do guys in general like to get drunk after 25 years old and girls not so much? Why are girls into baby showers and guys find it boring? Tell me that you dont agree with these generalizations and I will call you a liar.

I think we need to make a distinction between sex (genes) and gender (social conditioning). More strong-minded individuals are less likely to conform to peer pressure and decide their own preferences and interests.

Such generalisations as you list are of little interest and relevance for those who don't conform. Like those of us hooked up with women who refuse to wear pink but like fast cars, getting drunk and watching sport. I don't dispute that many, perhaps most people conform to socially-defined roles, but I will always question those roles as a point of principle.

Personally, socially and politically I am interested about what people have in common, and what they can share, rather than what sets them apart. That's why I prefer women who like getting drunk and shouting at football matches rather than those who like knitting pink socks for babies.