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  • National Coming Out Day

    With Ming's permission, I have recreated the thread on informing people about National Coming Out Day. The Human Rights Campaign is very much involved with the organization of this event; see the website linked below if you're interested in knowing more about it.

    National Coming Out Day

    The degeneration of my last thread on this topic clearly indicates that there are some straight people who are uneducated or uninformed about the whole basic concept of "coming out, and being out" for gays and lesbians. These straight people might think, "Why do gays and lesbians have to be out? Why can't they keep their sex life private?"

    Well, let me try to explain. For straight people who do not understand the concept of "coming out, and being out," it may be that they do not understand because they take it for granted that they can be comfortably open and honest about their heterosexuality to anyone they converse or interact with. In conversations about newborns, weddings, dating, and romantic relationships, there is no forthright disclosure of one's heterosexuality because 90 percent of population (or around there) are straight. So because they take it for granted that heterosexuality is acceptable in everyday conversation and interaction, they have no perception of coming out, and being out to others.

    And secondly, some straight people confuse "coming out, and being out" with that of disclosing lurid details about one's own sex life. When straight people talk about their weddings or about dating, it's acceptable; when gays and lesbians talk about the same things, some straight people accuse them of advertising their private sex life. "Coming out, and being out" is different from talking about one's private sex life. All "coming out, and being out" means, is that gays and lesbians choose to be open about their sexual orientation in the same ways that is deemed appropriate for straight people to be open about their sexual orientation. I'm out to family, friends and co-workers as a gay man but I do not talk about how I have sex with other men, what I do during sex, or anything else that is considered to be my private sex life. I talk about my dating life and past/current relationships without divulging lurid details about my sex life, in the same manner that straight people talk about their dating life and their relationships.

    The reason why an increasing number of gays and lesbians choose to come out and be out is because they are finding it personally unacceptable to hold themselves to unfair, and oppressive double standards of behavior in everyday conversations and interactions with others. They want to be held to the same rules of appropriate behavior and conduct that straight people are held to, instead of the homophobic or heterosexist double standard rules.


    In my first thread, I guess I did not feel the need to go into an explanation like this because most people here on Apolyton seem in many other ways to be educated and intelligent and would have some form of understanding of what "coming out and being out" means to gays and lesbians even if they themselves are straight. So, I hope the explanation I provided here helps.
    A lot of Republicans are not racist, but a lot of racists are Republican.

  • #2
    And I would like to add a simple warning... if some people decide they want to take this thread in the same direction as the last one... they will find that they won't be posting for a while.

    Be civil, and respect your fellow members.
    Keep on Civin'
    RIP rah, Tony Bogey & Baron O

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    • #3
      It's on Wednesday, right?

      I still haven't heard much about it around Montreal, but I'm not in the community like I used to be.
      Resident Filipina Lady Boy Expert.

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      • #4
        Link to the last thread so we know what not to do, please.
        “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
        "Capitalism ho!"

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        • #5

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          • #6
            Originally posted by DaShi
            Link to the last thread so we know what not to do, please.
            Thanks to a bunch of gay bashers and jerks... that thread has been deleted.

            Needless to say, if you want to do some gay bashing, do it somewhere else, because all that's going to happen here is that your post will be deleted, and you will get restricted.
            Keep on Civin'
            RIP rah, Tony Bogey & Baron O

            Comment


            • #7
              MrFun is gay?!
              "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
              "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Ming


                Thanks to a bunch of gay bashers and jerks... that thread has been deleted.
                FOX NEWS, fair and balanced.



                Spec.
                -Never argue with an idiot; He will bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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                • #9
                  I think it is risky whenever you are so sensitive to a race/sexual orientation/gender issue that you prohibit people from saying anything remotely negative about the actions of some blacks/gays/women.

                  It's very silly. We've seen people trash cops, soldiers, and political parties on these boards. It is bizarre that other, similarly large groups of people cannot be criticized simply because they belong to a particular race or sexual orientation.

                  There's a difference between bashing and speaking the truth...learn where the line is before you delete posts, Ming.

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                  • #10
                    If some people would learn how to NOT be biggots and gay bashers, I wouldn't have to delete posts.

                    Now... get back on topic. If you two continue the way you seem to want to, you will be toast...
                    Keep on Civin'
                    RIP rah, Tony Bogey & Baron O

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'd say something, but I don't want to continue anything in the wrong vein.

                      I went to a social event tonight, and me and my best gay friend were able to inform several people on issues they were ignorant to. It was quite pleasant. I feel like I've done a small part now in the name of Coming out day.
                      Resident Filipina Lady Boy Expert.

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                      • #12
                        Very well Mingz.

                        I think this "Coming out day" can have a good impact by making repressed teens/young adults be more open about their sexuality. Holding in feelings is never good and it's nice these people recognize that.

                        I do not think that they should be pushing for political purposes, eg the site advocates abolishing Don't ask Don't tell. It smears conservatives who favor this policy as bigots and lunatics, and quotes Gen. Pace calling gays "immoral."

                        It'd have been nicer if they were less biased here and recognized that having gay military units (75-80% male) can be a fatal distraction on the battlefield.

                        The organization, or whoever the hell sponsors this, should focus more on people coming out and less on a leftist agenda.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Ninot
                          I'd say something, but I don't want to continue anything in the wrong vein.

                          I went to a social event tonight, and me and my best gay friend were able to inform several people on issues they were ignorant to. It was quite pleasant. I feel like I've done a small part now in the name of Coming out day.
                          Er what exactly were these "people" ignorant about? Hopefully ignorant is not a moral judgment.

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                          • #14
                            No, not at all. They just didn't know. They were asking questions, and we answered
                            Resident Filipina Lady Boy Expert.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Wiglaf
                              I do not think that they should be pushing for political purposes, eg the site advocates abolishing Don't ask Don't tell. It smears conservatives who favor this policy as bigots and lunatics, and quotes Gen. Pace calling gays "immoral."

                              It'd have been nicer if they were less biased here and recognized that having gay military units (75-80% male) can be a fatal distraction on the battlefield.

                              The organization, or whoever the hell sponsors this, should focus more on people coming out and less on a leftist agenda.
                              And yet, reality says you're full of sh*t. As of '02, 23 countries lifted such bans and had no problems of cohesion or readiness. No one can accuse the Israeli military as being "an army of poofters." They're pretty hardcore by virtue of necessity, what with historically hostile countries in all three land directions and the briny deep to the west. The British seem to do just fine too.

                              This "ban the gays" nonsense in the US military is shared by militaries of such enlightened countries as Cuba, China, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Syria, Iran and Egypt. Even Russia and Turkey, hardly stalwarts of liberty and freedom, have less paranoid rules on openly homosexual persons serving than the US does.
                              The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.

                              The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.

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