22 year old guy wanting to have sex with 16 year old girl

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by b etor


oh. those girls were crazy then.

You thought 25, or 23? They wouldn't be crazy then, why?

[Blake]

Originally posted by Kidicious
Contradiction. The 16 year olds that you knew we not under control? I had over 80 female students. They seem mature until you get to know them. The longer you know them the more you understand their immaturities.

And I know a 40yo woman who bit a police officer (under the influence, obviously). But point is. The immature ones don't get any more mature, they just get older (and disowned by their parents).

Originally posted by Kidicious
The younger mature girls are interested in boys their own age.

Mature girls are interested in immature boys?


In all honesty I think this strict age-pairing thing is a VERY human invention. You don't see it in nature. I'm not saying that "How nature does it is right" - but humans do have a habit of trying to view things as absolutes, or in black and white, not quite grasping the fact that reality will not conform to their thinking. So you can say that "No 16 year old is mature enough to have a relationship with a 22 year old", but reality will politely ignore you and carry on as it always has, humans were designed by nature - not humans.
A relationship between a mature 16yo and a patient 22yo seems reasonable to me. There's obviously much scope for non-functional pairings, but there's no need for an age difference to make for non-functional pairings.

Originally posted by Kidicious
And if they aren't under control they will go ape ****.

My kid doesn't rebel btw.

My parents didn't set any rules for me. How could I rebel?
I accepted their guidance because it/I was sensible.

In my experience at school, 16 was the age were the teachers mostly stopped "imposing" control. Because all the kids who genuinely didn't want to be there had already left. There was the occasional asshat teacher who would impose random and petty control but there was no NEED for it, the mild-mannered teachers did just fine (unlike with 13 year olds, where those poor teachers had a torturous experience....)
(Coincidently there was at least one teacher I had at age 13 who could keep the class under control without actually "imposing" control, through I guess what would have to the described as charisma. Imposing control through rigid rules is not a necessity, it's an ineffectual fallback)

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Blake
Mature girls are interested in immature boys?

There are also mature boys their age. One sign of immaturity is settling for someone, because you don't want to be single until you find someone better. They might say their are no mature boys their age, but they are just impatient, and yes, immature.

In all honesty I think this strict age-pairing thing is a VERY human invention. You don't see it in nature. I'm not saying that "How nature does it is right" - but humans do have a habit of trying to view things as absolutes, or in black and white, not quite grasping the fact that reality will not conform to their thinking. So you can say that "No 16 year old is mature enough to have a relationship with a 22 year old", but reality will politely ignore you and carry on as it always has, humans were designed by nature - not humans.

I don't see how comparing us to the animals helps. Human relationships are much more complex.

In my experience at school, 16 was the age were the teachers mostly stopped "imposing" control. Because all the kids who genuinely didn't want to be there had already left.

Maybe you don't know how a teacher controls a classroom. It's not like they crack a whip, but I can assure you that if a teacher doesn't control the classroom the students will be unruly. The students don't know that they are being controled by the teachers who know how to control a classroom.

[b etor]

Originally posted by Kidicious




You thought 25, or 23? They wouldn't be crazy then, why?

at this age, more than a 10 year difference is wrong.
if you were 26 that'd be ok. cuz i totally had a thing for my chem teacher, but i didn't try flirting with him cuz he'd had a gf for 3 years. i'd so do him tho. he's 26/27 btw.

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by b etor


at this age, more than a 10 year difference is wrong.
if you were 26 that'd be ok. cuz i totally had a thing for my chem teacher, but i didn't try flirting with him cuz he'd had a gf for 3 years. i'd so do him tho. he's 26/27 btw.

Just morally wrong? Is it that you would have more in common with a 26 year old because he is younger?

[Kidlicious]

btw, I don't think they knew how old I was. I was young looking for a teacher, and since they really didn't know much, I think they thought I was younger.

[b etor]

Originally posted by Kidicious
Just morally wrong? Is it that you would have more in common with a 26 year old because he is younger?

oh idk about morally. i mean they can if they want, but i wouldn't.
i wouldn't have more in common with him because he's younger, although i might. i'm just generally not attracted to guys that are closer to my father's age than mine. don't ask me about morals.

Originally posted by Kidicious
btw, I don't think they knew how old I was. I was young looking for a teacher, and since they really didn't know much, I think they thought I was younger.

pictures for proof!

[Wiglaf]

Don't you think sex should wait until marriage? I worry people such as the blog owner will never stay married long with a loose attitude towards banging whatever walks.

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by b etor
oh idk about morally. i mean they can if they want, but i wouldn't.
i wouldn't have more in common with him because he's younger, although i might. i'm just generally not attracted to guys that are closer to my father's age than mine. don't ask me about morals.

Ok I get it.

pictures for proof!

All the pictures of me during that time are probably of me with my exwife. Those are hard to find right now

[b etor]

damn.

Originally posted by Wiglaf
Don't you think sex should wait until marriage? I worry people such as the blog owner will never stay married long with a loose attitude towards banging whatever walks.

i wouldn't marry any of the guys i hook up with. but i'm not really thinking about marriage now. i could definitely stick to one guy if i wanted to.

[Blake]

Originally posted by Kidicious
I don't see how comparing us to the animals helps. Human relationships are much more complex.

You'd think so. But no. It's mostly still instinctive level stuff.

Maybe you don't know how a teacher controls a classroom. It's not like they crack a whip, but I can assure you that if a teacher doesn't control the classroom the students will be unruly. The students don't know that they are being controled by the teachers who know how to control a classroom.

There's imposing control, then there's maintaining order. I say there's a distinction.

Take for example curtain-pants man (so named by my younger brother because he wore pants which were patterned similar to curtains).

Pants man was a young weak-willed teacher who was basically unable to punish, he was also lacking in charisma. If the class got unruly he was basically "uh uh uh what do I do now?". My younger brother's class was quite capable of reducing pants man to tears (LITERALLY!) with teasing and general misbehaving.

Pants man had no problems with my classes. I'm not claiming that there wasn't an element of pity here, but 16 year olds were not cruel to pants man, and did not misbehave. Of course it's not clear if that's due to increasing age, or that the age where kids can leave school is 15 so the genuinely resentful kids had all buggered off by then.

But regardless, there was order in the class room, with pants man having no ability or understanding of how to maintain order. So the age was sufficient for acting like "adults".

Incidentally, pants man quit teaching after that year, he just couldn't cope with the younger classes.

[Pekka]

I think we have a double standard here. If it was a 16 year old guy and a 22 year old girl, we'd be all rooting for him and saying "well, I wish I was that guy when I was 16."

It's funny how this whole thing about sexuality is totally turned upside down when it comes to a different gender.

I think it's about time that men would also accept women as sexual beings with their own wishes and hopes, and they can indeed choose their own partner and they don't necessarily fit the whore description just yet.

I think men start equating women as mothers, daughters etc. so they get all pissy about it and not really think them as sexual individuals like men would be. Or that they can't take care of themselves. Or that they so stupid that men always manipulate them into something they really don't want to do, in which case I think the person who says that is sexually frustrated and thinks the only way to have sex with women is to manipulate them, as in to compensate for their own poor results in that area, or because women aren't humans like the rest of us and too stupid to decide for themselves, or because they're reflecting themselves, as in they "know that men only want sex" because that's what THEY want.

In all cases, I'd say it's hypocritical. It's not to say "don't protect your daughter", I'd find it weird if that wasn't the case. It's a natural instinct. I already have it strong even when I don't have a daughter! But... the point is... even though it's a bit creepy, it doesn't mean that there's some kind of a rape going on.

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Blake
You'd think so. But no. It's mostly still instinctive level stuff.

No. The problem is that some people don't have good instincts. Mature people, with experience in relationships know when their instincts are betraying them.

There's imposing control, then there's maintaining order. I say there's a distinction.

And teachers impose control. If they are trying to maintain order they have already lost control.

How old are you? Your opinions seem like those of someone recently graduated from high school. I don't mean to offend.

[Jon Miller]

The issue is that in most of america at least, there is a huge shift between 16 (highschool) and 22 (already graduated college, or a senior).

This is why people find it a bit sketchy.If it wasn't for this huge shift, there would be no problem.

JM
(huge shift is because of current practices/culture, not biological)

[Kidlicious]

WTF Pekka?