And a question about discussing religion

[DaShi]

Sounds like your problem then.

[Wycoff]

Originally posted by DaShi
Sounds like your problem then.

Relgious belief is very personal. Asking a stranger about it within minutes of meeting him is rude. If you're fine with it, then good for you. Others aren't. Rufus asked what we'd say. I answered.

[Lancer]

Deep breaths, in, out...in, out...

[LordShiva]

Get one of your friends to ask him if he goes to church, and, when he says yes, to ask him why.

[Lancer]

He will just tell him.

[SpencerH]

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly


The follow-up question was rude, full stop. Regardless of his motivation, it was far too personal a question to ask of someone he barely knew. That's why the smart-ass answers occured to me. I can easily abide religious sentiment, but cannot abide rudeness.

He asks where you go to church, you answer you dont, he wonders why not and asks the question? Its not necessarily rude at all. 80% of americans are church-goers of some type. You're living in a foreign country, maybe you've had trouble finding the correct church. Maybe you're worried about the traffic in Singapore. One might conclude that the question was too intimate, but on its face, it isnt rude. After all, he didnt ask about what church/faith it was.

I take one look at your sig and wonder if perhaps you're over reacting to a fairly reasonable question.

[DaShi]

This reminds me of when someone printed t-shirts that gave your age, marital status, and how much money you make to wear around in China. That was rude, and the Chinese weren't too pleased about it.

[Wycoff]

Originally posted by SpencerH
One might conclude that the question was too intimate, but on its face, it isnt rude.

Something can be rude without being patently offensive. A stranger who asks you a question that is too intimate is being rude.

[Kuciwalker]

Exactly.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Originally posted by Wycoff


Something can be rude without being patently offensive. A stranger who asks you a question that is too intimate is being rude.

Well put. I didn't find the question offensive, but I found the asking of the question, by a relative stranger, rude. I'm generously assuming that social cluelessness, rather than something more pointed, was behind the asking, but it seems to me still a rude question between only-casually-acquainted Americans.

[Arrian]

You handled it well, Rufus. The question was perhaps a bit rude, but it also sounds like he didn't mean to be rude.

I loved your internal responses, but of course that's because I'm a terrible arrogant secular type and all that.



-Arrian

[PLATO]

Interesting how even the non religious treat religion differently.

"Hey, do you go to the soccer matches"
"No"
"Why not?"

is so much different than:

"Hey, do you go to Church?"
"No."
"Why not?"

IMO, it is because of the fear of being labeled a certain way...not because it is a personal decision. It is a personal decision not to go to the soccer match, is it not?

If you truly want a secular environment, then treat questions of religion in just as secular a way as you would any other question. In a secular world, they have the same weight don't they? Church and a sporting event would both be social choices made on where to spend your free time. No difference if it is truly secular. Perhaps some people do wish to attend church " to assemble with a large group of people to consume utterly improbable fiction "

It is the assumptions that you make of the questioner that are as equally incorrect as the assumptions you assume the questioner will make about you that is the problem here.

Once "secularists" learn that religion is a choice, not only similar to their choice not to practice it, but just as any other social choice, then we will see some progress.

Now...of course the opposite is true for those practicing religion. They must learn to accept the secular person's right to make this choice...just as the secular person must accept theirs.

Both sides of this argument are equally wrong in the way that they handle such things.

[Arrian]

Good points, PLATO. It would indeed be better if people were more tolerant of other people's choices. Funny, though, in my experience, the intolerance hasn't come from "secularists."

-Arrian

[PLATO]

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly


Well put. I didn't find the question offensive, but I found the asking of the question, by a relative stranger, rude. I'm generously assuming that social cluelessness, rather than something more pointed, was behind the asking, but it seems to me still a rude question between only-casually-acquainted Americans.

Is this not based upon your pre-conceived thoughts of how that person feels about religion or do you have an issue with how you feel about religion?

Would you have reacted the same way if he ha asked if you attended a secular event regularly? Would that have been so "intimate" as to have been rude?

If you are a true secularist then you should treat religion no differently than any other social choice. ....You should also demand the same of others in their interaction with you. In this case, it appears that your questioner reacted appropriately to your answer. It killed the discussion just as "I'm not a soccer fan" would to the sports question.

[PLATO]

Originally posted by Arrian
Good points, PLATO. It would indeed be better if people were more tolerant of other people's choices. Funny, though, in my experience, the intolerance hasn't come from "secularists."

-Arrian

Oh! I definately agree! By far and away the most intolerence comes from the "religious". I am, however, noticing a growing intolerence from the secularist.

I believe that Rufus unwittingly fell pray to that (no pun intended. ) in his thoughts and assumptions.