And a question about discussing religion

[Zkribbler]

Re: Re: And a question about discussing religion

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
He's a nosey parker and your answer was dignified and perfectly satisfactory.

I agree...but I'm not offended as Rufus by his question.

One of my best friends is a hyper-religious, conservative Republican. She doesn't balk at asking none-of-your-business-type questions, but I know she's just trying to understand the thought process of a miminally-religious, liberal Democrat. (E.g. why aren't I supporting Edwards in this election, when I was so behind him in the last one).

I'm sure the person you were talking to is from his own little world where EVERYONE goes to church. When Rufus said he didn't, Rufus became to him a fascinating creature from outer space who needed to be probed.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Originally posted by SpencerH
Whats interesting to me is your comment "Now, obviously, all sorts of smart-ass answers occured to me,". Just why would it be obvious? As others have pointed out there are reasonable reasons why a religious person might ask such a question.

The follow-up question was rude, full stop. Regardless of his motivation, it was far too personal a question to ask of someone he barely knew. That's why the smart-ass answers occured to me. I can easily abide religious sentiment, but cannot abide rudeness.

[DaShi]

What was rude? Asking why?

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Originally posted by DaShi
What was rude? Asking why?

Yes. I don't expect to be asked about my religious beliefs by relative strangers, any more than I expect to be asked about my sex life, finances, or politics.

[DaShi]

Maybe he feels it's a perfectly innocuous question to ask.

[Zkribbler]

Which could have lead to another perfectly valid response:

"I'm not comfortable discussing personal matters like this with a relative stranger."

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Originally posted by DaShi
Maybe he feels it's a perfectly innocuous question to ask.

He probably did, and that's why I didn't reply rudely. In fact, if he hadn't been an American, I wouldn't have even taken offense; I got that question all the time in the Phils (along with "You have only one child? Why only one?"), and understood it to be pure intercultural curiosity. But -- and maybe I'm just being an old fart here -- Americans used to understand that as a rude question. Maybe times have changed, and I haven't changed with them.

[DaShi]

Ah, so the problem wsa he was an American.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Originally posted by Zkribbler
Which could have lead to another perfectly valid response:

"I'm not comfortable discussing personal matters like this with a relative stranger."

Yeah, but that struck me as still slightly confrontational, which is why I replied the way I did. At a cocktail party or something I might have responded that way, but I'm going to see this guy every day at work; no sense getting off on the wrong foot.

[Lancer]

His question was fine and your answer was too.

He might have been concerned that you couldn't find the sort of church you were looking for and just wanted to share what knowledge he had.

Your answer resolved that perfectly.

Though I wasn't there it doesn't sound like he was judgeing you, he was just asking, no harm done. I'd have done the same if I was him in his situation or if I was you in yours.

[Wycoff]

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly I'm going to see this guy every day at work; no sense getting off on the wrong foot.

The way I see it, the other guy has already started your relationship out on the wrong foot. He should have dropped it after you said that you didn't know.

If I were you, I probably would have said none of your business. I know that you don't want to alienate the guy, but chances are that you've alienated him by admitting that you're not relgious. Someone who would press for personal religious details from someone who they just met strikes me as someone who isn't very accepting of non-believers. Maybe I'm wrong, but his reaction strikes me as suspicious. It would have annoyed me had I been in your shoes.

[SlowwHand]

You're just an old fart, Rufus. Realize it and embrace it.

[DaShi]

Originally posted by Wycoff


The way I see it, the other guy has already started your relationship out on the wrong foot. He should have dropped it after you said that you didn't know.

If I were you, I probably would have said none of your business. I know that you don't want to alienate the guy, but chances are that you've alienated him by admitting that you're not relgious. Someone who would press for personal religious details from someone who they just met strikes me as someone who isn't very accepting of non-believers. Maybe I'm wrong, but his reaction strikes me as suspicious. It would have annoyed me had I been in your shoes.

Right, those religionistas are always up to something. I recommend reporting him to the authorities. Unless, of course, you think they've been infiltrated too.

[Lancer]

If he follows up with 'hey, we're going to blah church tomorrow wanna go', don't get up tight, he's just trying to be helpful. If he says 'you're going to hell you heathen', just flip him off, he's being judgemental and he's not supposed to do that.

[Wycoff]

Originally posted by DaShi
Right, those religionistas are always up to something. I recommend reporting him to the authorities. Unless, of course, you think they've been infiltrated too.

You sound like someone who didn't grow up in a religious fundamentalist area. I did. If you're not a church goer, you're blackballed. To them, you're not a good person. I'm naturally suspicious of anyone who asks you about your church within the first few minutes of meeting you.