The world is doomed.

[TheBirdMan]

Originally posted by Blake
DO NOT LIGHT SELF ON FIRE!


Light someone else on fire and then sue .

Don't kill yourself - you might kill an innocent!

[Lancer]

Still, when you think about it that lighter will likely be used to light cigs. Not as stupid as lighting oneself on fire, but close.

[b etor]

Originally posted by korn469


i've also seen jars of peanut that says "warning: may contain peanuts" all i'm saying is IT BETTER ****ING CONTAIN PEANUTS...if it doesn't then what in the hell am i eating?

sunflower butter

Originally posted by Lancer
Still, when you think about it that lighter will likely be used to light cigs. Not as stupid as lighting oneself on fire, but close.

qft

[Sava]

Originally posted by Japher

believe the doctor that they "really check your prostate that way"!

Will you check my prostate for me?

[Dinner]

Originally posted by Japher
Other things you should not do (in case the warning label had fallen off):

Do not stab self with knife
shot self with gun
use a toaster in a full bathtub
jump off a cliff or other such altitude that could cause personal harm
pee on electric fence
spit in the wind
tug on Superman's cape
lift the mask of the ol' Lone Range
Mess around with Jim
Feed gremlins after midnight
Push big red buttons that say do not push (as tempting as it may seem)
Swim within 30 minutes of eating
put out cigarettes in your eye
drive drunk
believe anything you read on the internet
tell Sloww he might not be a jackass
give Nigerian millionares your bank account number
pick up the soap and a communal shower
go into a sauna with Pekka
rip the tag of your matress
believe the doctor that they "really check your prostate that way"!
get married...

more to follow

Jim Croce is the man even when his songs have been adultered like this.