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  • #2
    SEX

    * All beds have a special L-shaped top sheet, which reaches up to armpit level on women but only to waist level on men.
    * No-one ever needs a kleenex after sex.
    * If you're a woman in a film and have just finished a steamy lovemaking session, make sure to lay back and pull the sheets up to your neck, just like in real life.
    * All women moan during sex, but none sweat.
    * Women (and men less often) either make love with their underclothes on or have put them back on in the immediate aftermath.
    * Two total strangers, upon falling into bed together, will always reach an incredibly intense, mutual, and SIMULTANEOUS orgasm on the first try.


    It always bothered me in TV shows and even movies when the woman got up to go do something and tried to cover up. The just ****ed you and now your being modest? Although there are some women who insist on sex in the dark.
    Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, Chief. We are evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I'm surprised you didn't know that. --Saul Tigh

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    • #3
      SPACE & VACUUM

      * Explosions in space make noise
      * Exposure to vacuum makes you horribly swell up and/or explode within seconds (ex. "Total Recall", "Outland")
      * There's a deep humming in space, no doubt about it.
      * Space is not Newtonian; spacecraft can't 'coast', but just stop dead if they run out of fuel or power.
      * Laser beams are visible in vacuum.

      SPACESHIPS

      * Spaceships make noise!
      * Spaceships always fly perpendicular to the same axis. When two spacecraft encounter each other, they're always aligned on a plane and never approach at odd angles.
      * All spaceships, no matter how small, have internal artifical gravity and no matter how badly your ship gets pummeled by the evil aliens in the evil alien ship, no matter how many external panels get blown away, no matter how many sparks or how much smoke pours out of your control panels, the artificial gravity will always keep working.
      * There are tiny cameras mounted everywhere, on every panel, in your spaceship. No matter what happens anywhere int eh ship, you will always be able to ask the computer to replay the scene for you later (even if the computer went up in smoke) and unlike those blurry convenience store cameras, your tiny ship cameras always capture everyone's actions at eye-level with perfect lighting.
      * Warp or hyper-drive will always fail at critical moments.
      * Inertial dampers will always prevent passengers from being plastered against the walls during acceleration into warp speed, yet any explosion will send passengers reeling across the room.
      * In a spaceship battle scene, for a ship to fire a weapon at another, it must be in visual range. Even though the 20th century saw the advent of weapons that can be fired without visual contact, the people of the future have lost this technology.


      The noise in space thing always annoys me.
      THEY!!111 OMG WTF LOL LET DA NOMADS AND TEH S3D3NTARY PEOPLA BOTH MAEK BITER AXP3REINCES
      AND TEH GRAAT SINS OF THERE [DOCTRINAL] INOVATIONS BQU3ATH3D SMAL
      AND!!1!11!!! LOL JUST IN CAES A DISPUTANT CALS U 2 DISPUT3 ABOUT THEYRE CLAMES
      DO NOT THAN DISPUT3 ON THEM 3XCAPT BY WAY OF AN 3XTARNAL DISPUTA!!!!11!! WTF

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      • #4
        Originally posted by LordShiva
        The noise in space thing always annoys me.
        It wasn't there in the late '60's. Thank George Lucas and Star Wars for adding in noise.


        Then there was the cartoon I channel surfed into awhile back. The main characters came riding out of a black hole on what were essentially spac-y motorcycles. They weren't wearing any space helmets and were talking to each other.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Zkribbler


          It wasn't there in the late '60's. Thank George Lucas and Star Wars for adding in noise.


          Then there was the cartoon I channel surfed into awhile back. The main characters came riding out of a black hole on what were essentially spac-y motorcycles. They weren't wearing any space helmets and were talking to each other.
          ouch i hope it was parody.

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          • #6
            VILLAINS

            * The bad guy is the foreigner.
            * Corollary: the foreigner is the guy who speaks English with an English accent
            This isn't true. Right off the of my head most movie villians I can think of did not even have an english accent let alone an english origin.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by LordShiva
              The noise in space thing always annoys me.
              Firefly FTW.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Kuciwalker
                Firefly FTW.
                WTF Firefly?
                THEY!!111 OMG WTF LOL LET DA NOMADS AND TEH S3D3NTARY PEOPLA BOTH MAEK BITER AXP3REINCES
                AND TEH GRAAT SINS OF THERE [DOCTRINAL] INOVATIONS BQU3ATH3D SMAL
                AND!!1!11!!! LOL JUST IN CAES A DISPUTANT CALS U 2 DISPUT3 ABOUT THEYRE CLAMES
                DO NOT THAN DISPUT3 ON THEM 3XCAPT BY WAY OF AN 3XTARNAL DISPUTA!!!!11!! WTF

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by LordShiva


                  WTF Firefly?
                  A joss whedon sci fi TV series so sabotaged by brain dead network interference that it ended up cancelled in it's first season. The movie serenity more or less picked up where it left off.

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                  • #10
                    I'm sure I recall many many sounds in the space battle in the movie, however.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Geronimo
                      This isn't true. Right off the of my head most movie villians I can think of did not even have an english accent let alone an english origin.
                      Perhaps its a more recent trend, or perhaps its just the movies you have seen, but the quotes I posted from English actors show how you are wrong.

                      I'm not saying all, but I am saying many.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Geronimo
                        This isn't true. Right off the of my head most movie villians I can think of did not even have an english accent let alone an english origin.
                        Hans Gruber = English accent
                        Grand Moff Tarkin = English accent

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Zkribbler


                          Hans Gruber = English accent
                          Grand Moff Tarkin = English accent
                          Grand Moff Tarkin was just one of dozens of imperial officers. Anyway, if they liked demonizing the enlgish in star wars by casting them as villians why do a voice over for Prose? Especially voicing over with James Earl Jones?

                          Hans Gruber was in die hard right? He sounded vaguely german to me. Not really english at all. Furthermore I could have sworn that the movie categorcially establishes him as from somewhere in mainland europe.

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                          • #14
                            I was watching some random episode of 24. I tuned in a bit late, but they were interrogating some guy about some other guy.
                            The interrogated guy began to describe his boss. Six-one, brown hair, etc etc....

                            After he said "He speaks with an English accent", I changed the channel.
                            Eventis is the only refuge of the spammer. Join us now.
                            Long live teh paranoia smiley!

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                            • #15
                              My point was that even though the character was "Han Gruber" he was played by Alan Rickman, who has an English accent (see: Harry Potter, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, Quigley Down Under).

                              Americans are intimidated by English accents so we cast Englishmen as villians in our motion pictures because they're scary.

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