Life changes, Imran's cat (RIP) and other stories...

[Richelieu]

Originally posted by Oncle Boris
I had noticed you were getting more regular here. Good to know you're getting better.

What would you do if i sang out a tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me
Lend me your ears and i'll sing you a song
And i'll try not to sing out of key

I get by with a little help from my friends,
I get high with a little help from my friends
I'm going to try with a little help from my friends

Ringo

[LordShiva]

Originally posted by Richelieu
I don't think there were any threads... but then again, my mind may be playing tricks on me.

But you posted in it

[Richelieu]

Originally posted by Pekka

What you should not do in this istuation is to test your friendship in terms of not contacting but waiting for contact, ultimately waiting for the red carpet to be rolled in front of you, as a kind of proof that you are real friends with someone and they appreciate it as much as you do.

This is a mistake.

Sound advice. The thing is: i never meant it as a form of test. Not conciously anyway. It had more to do - i think - with a distorted self image, a false impression of not being worth their friendship. And so i never extended mine.
To a lesser degree it's what i've been doping on Poly too.

[Dis]

Don't worry about the birthday threads too much. It was only the last few years people remembered to put mine. Thanks guys.

I think that has more to do with being a very active posters. These guys know if they don't make a birthday thread for me, I'll spam even more out of protest.

[Richelieu]

Originally posted by LordShiva


But you posted in it

Yes: this year. I was refering to previous years. I started my own - in advance - birthday thread this year because i thought it would be overlooked again.

[Dis]

I really don't think I have a relationship with anyone here. As some of you guys come to my city and don't bother to meet me. . Only kidding. I know you are busy. So am I. But I know you guys probably wouldn't want to hang out with someone who you can't meet women with. And the past couple people have been here with the intent of meeting women. I'd just drive them away.

[Richelieu]

Originally posted by Dis
I really don't think I have a relationship with anyone here. As some of you guys come to my city and don't bother to meet me. . Only kidding. I know you are busy. So am I. But I know you guys probably wouldn't want to hang out with someone who you can't meet women with. And the past couple people have been here with the intent of meeting women. I'd just drive them away.

If anyone from Poly went to Vegas and invited you for a beer, would you go? Seriously.

[SlowwHand]

Most people hide their location from me. I had to be attentive to catch generally where the Tuberski's are located.

[Dis]

Of course! I did when Lancer came.

My work schedule could put some crimps in that. The beer may have to be after midnight. But if you are in Vegas. I hope you aren't going to bed before midnight.

[Dis]

Originally posted by SlowwHand
Most people hide their location from me. I had to be attentive to catch generally where the Tuberski's are located.

they seem to keep moving around, don't they?

She was in Hawaii for a while. I think he was originally from Utah. I think they are in Austin or something, aren't they?

[Pekka]

Originally posted by Richelieu


Sound advice. The thing is: i never meant it as a form of test not conciously anyway. It had more to do - i think - with a distorted self image, a false impression of not being worth their friendship. And so i never extended mine.
To a lesser degree it's what i've been doping on Poly too.

Right... so it's more about low self-esteem? Not seeing the value in yourself or the friendship you can provide? Well, of course this is very general, but I think what you've gone to do, possibly, is that you're trying to put a value to yourself, and you are unable to find those values, so that somehow means you are not valuable or your friendship isn't?

I don't know how you came to this conclusion, that you are not worth of their friendship, but they are usually (if not always) agreements made by both parties. If you are friends with someone, then they accept you as their friend. You know the cynical and materialistic world we live in, if someone accepts you as friend by even remotely familiar terms, then they most likely are your friends and you are worthy of that friendship. It's bi-directional thing.

[Drake Tungsten]

I basically said " Enough already, I know it's not fun but it's only acat for Gods sake".

You're exactly right.

[Dis]

people like to be liked. This is what I found out recently. Before I was always reserved and never showed any emotion to people on whether I liked them or not. Some people thought I was stuck up.

It's only recently I have even been able to make any meaningful friendships. Though one went down in flames last summer. Oh well. I'm not sure if I'm the best example. I'm friends with 3 people, and they are all women. I'm not sure if that's the healthiest friendship. I think in a way I crave attention from women.

Speaking of attention. My best friendship is with an attention whore. I hate to use that term to describe her. She's a sweet person. She was abandoned and neglected as a child. Then sent off into an arranged marriage. So I can't fault her for wanting attention. I want the same thing from her. I'm not sure how healthy our friendship is. We'll see how long it lasts...

but I do have more confidence now in my ability to be a friend. These people wouldn't be talking to me if they thought I was worthless.

[SlowwHand]

Screw what they think. You know what's right. Do what you think is right and if they miss the boat, that's their loss.

Just general advice to anyone wanting to hear an old ****er's opinion.

[Richelieu]

Originally posted by Pekka


Right... so it's more about low self-esteem? Not seeing the value in yourself or the friendship you can provide?

That's part of the equation... but it's a long equation and there are lots more variables.

I don't know how you came to this conclusion, that you are not worth of their friendship...

Me neither. And that's another one of those small mysteries that paralyzed me for a long time. I am not able to make what i think of myself intellectually coincide with what i feel about myself.
But for this - and probably other stuff that i'm still unaware of - i think i am going to seek professional help. Consult a psychiatrist and see if therapy is indicated.