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Woman farting causes emergency landing of airliner

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  • Woman farting causes emergency landing of airliner



    And I thought women didn't fart (at least not in public ). I think airliners should have some fart vents built into the seat. Something that sucks up the gasses and vents them outside the plane.

    This is an idea for my next invention. The question is, do I spend time inventing this, or do I spam Poly some more?

  • #2
    Fart-supressing seat cushions are already available, so sayeth Google: http://www.gasbgon.com/

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Jonny
      Fart-supressing seat cushions are already available, so sayeth Google: http://www.gasbgon.com/
      all the good ideas are already taken. I guess I'll have to find some other way to get rich.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Dis


        all the good ideas are already taken. I guess I'll have to find some other way to get rich.
        I don't know if anyone's tried to pitch the fart-supressing cushions to the airlines yet. You could be the middleman and make miillions!

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        • #5
          Couldn't they use it as some new type of bio jet engine?
          Blah

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          • #6
            While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane
            Unbelievable!

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            • #7
              Flatulence, not turbulence forces plane landing in Nashville

              Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.Advertisement

              American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

              The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.

              The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.

              The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

              The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane.

              "American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.

              She was not charged but could have been. While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, Lowrance said.


              Striking matches just after creating a perfect stoikiometric mix of methane and air? An obvious terror attempt, using an aerosol bomb. I think security scans on airports should also include intestine content.
              So get your Naomi Klein books and move it or I'll seriously bash your faces in! - Supercitizen to stupid students
              Be kind to the nerdiest guy in school. He will be your boss when you've grown up!

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              • #8
                The woman lives near Dallas
                A Texan. Figures...
                What?

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                • #9
                  Everything's bigger in Texas
                  “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                  "Capitalism ho!"

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                  • #10
                    Let me get this straight. A single butane lighter is forbidden, but you can have 4 packs of matches?

                    Typical.

                    -Arrian
                    grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!

                    The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.

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                    • #11
                      How did she get the idea that lighting a match covers the smell of flatulence anyway? IMO the combination just makes it worse...
                      This is Shireroth, and Giant Squid will brutally murder me if I ever remove this link from my signature | In the end it won't be love that saves us, it will be mathematics | So many people have this concept of God the Avenger. I see God as the ultimate sense of humor -- SlowwHand

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                      • #12
                        Doesn't anyone feel the least bit sorry for the bomb sniffing dogs?
                        "Just puttin on the foil" - Jeff Hanson

                        “In a democracy, I realize you don’t need to talk to the top leader to know how the country feels. When I go to a dictatorship, I only have to talk to one person and that’s the dictator, because he speaks for all the people.” - Jimmy Carter

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Dis
                          all the good ideas are already taken. I guess I'll have to find some other way to get rich.
                          Sue them for stealing your idea! They obviously read this thread, saw your idea, and traveled backwards in time so they could invent it before you. and while you're at it, sue them for stealing your idea of a time machine!

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Ogie Oglethorpe
                            Doesn't anyone feel the least bit sorry for the bomb sniffing dogs?
                            Dogs like sniffing people in the behinds
                            So get your Naomi Klein books and move it or I'll seriously bash your faces in! - Supercitizen to stupid students
                            Be kind to the nerdiest guy in school. He will be your boss when you've grown up!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Some of the worst gas of my life was left fly on an airplane. Eye watering farts so bad you can taste them. It was glorious.
                              Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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