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Someone stole my bike!

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  • Someone stole my bike!

    Bastards!
    I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891

  • #2
    DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.

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    • #3
      Boo! Hiss!

      Of course, since you're a capitalist oppressor, and property ownership is theft, you got what you had coming

      Looks like you have something to add to your Christmas list now...

      -Arrian
      grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!

      The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.

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      • #4
        My secretary -- the wit -- said "merry Christmas!"

        I'll go out one of these nights and buy another. And I'll lock it up before I run into the store this time.
        I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891

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        • #5
          What kind of American steals a bike anyway? A bike.
          DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.

          Comment


          • #6
            I relied on the maxim that most people are honest and would not steal an unlocked bike in broad daylight while I ran into the restaurant to get takeout. I have had much success with this in the past.
            I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891

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            • #7
              Bike thieves!
              Blah

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              • #8
                Must have been a Dutch immigrant who stole it.
                DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by DanS
                  I relied on the maxim that most people are honest and would not steal an unlocked bike in broad daylight while I ran into the restaurant to get takeout. I have had much success with this in the past.

                  There are honest people in DC?

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Colonâ„¢
                    Must have been a Dutch immigrant who stole it.
                    Naw, everyone knows Germans stole all of the Dutch bikes.
                    Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Odin



                      There are honest people in DC?
                      None of them work for the government.
                      Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        There are people in DC who don't work for the gov't?
                        DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by DanS
                          I have had much success with this in the past.
                          You mis-spelled 'luck'.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by DanS
                            I relied on the maxim that most people are honest and would not steal an unlocked bike in broad daylight while I ran into the restaurant to get takeout. I have had much success with this in the past.
                            How charmingly naive and trusting.
                            Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
                            -Richard Dawkins

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                            • #15
                              What can I say? I'm a disarmingly charming guy.
                              I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891

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