Rick Santorum, Senator from the Shire

[Rufus T. Firefly]

No WMD, no Saddam-Al Qaeda conection, no grateful liberated masses . . . but now the true reason for the war in Iraq can finally be revealed!

"As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else," Santorum told the Bucks County Courier Times. "It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States."

Less than three weeks until he's voted out of office. Man, I can't wait. I only hope his farewell isn't as interminable as the last reel of Return of the King.

(But for those who remember the poll...no, I'm not going to vote against him twice).

[Kuciwalker]

[Eroberer]

I saw this on the Colbert Report. Also, I believe there are some good Keith Olberman clips on YouTube where he just runs this guy into the ground for "finding WMDs" in Iraq....which turned out to be just mustard gas canisters from the Iran - Iraq war long ago.

[Berzerker]

hey Eroberer, long time no see...weren't we tribalists?

[Sikander]

Damn, it's worth re-electing him just for the entertainment value.

[Cyclotron]

"As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else," Santorum told the Bucks County Courier Times. "It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States."

In the book, the Eye is being attracted away from Mordor, and towards Gondor. By this metaphor, Santorum is saying that Mordor is America and Gondor is Iraq.

Rick Santorum hates America!

[Bosh]

What about the Ents?

[Cyclotron]

Originally posted by Bosh
What about the Ents?

Since America is Mordor, Britain must be Isengard, our ally. The Ents attack Isengard, so by Santorum's analogy the Ents are Britain's radical Muslims and the London bombers.

Rick Santorum hates Britain!

[Last Conformist]

How did this clown get elected in the first place?

[Will9]

Who are the Roheam? I'm confused since Rohan was only invaded by Isengard (England).

[Last Conformist]

Sierra Leone?

[lord of the mark]

Gandalfs strategy was to use the war on the Plains of Pelennor to distract from a secret mission into Saurons turf, Mordor. Obviously then, if Baghdad is Minis Tirith, then Iraq is Gondor, fighting off the evil hordes of Al Q - Sauron. Saddam was Denethor, nominally anti Sauron, but finally went loonie. The restored king is the democracy to come in Iraq, but the current Iraqi govt is the confused governing situation in Minis Tirith right after the Battle of the Pelenor fields, with Imrahil and others running things. The US obviously is Rohan, which came to Gondors aid, after having been attacked itself in "The Two Towers"

The Hobbits are a little known and lesser ally. who usually live peacefully by themselves.

Senator Santorum has obviously just blown a Canadian covert op against OBL in Pakistan. Shame on you, Sen Santorum!

[Arrian]

Actually, it was the march on the Black Gate (Morannon) that was the decoy. The battle of Pellanor fields was of Sauron's choosing, albeit rushed due to Aragorn revealing himself in the Palantir.

*ahem*

Not a bad attempt at it, LotM.

I see the "moths to a flame" theory is being trotted out by the Repubs.

-Arrian

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

Originally posted by Cyclotron


In the book, the Eye is being attracted away from Mordor, and towards Gondor. By this metaphor, Santorum is saying that Mordor is America and Gondor is Iraq.

Rick Santorum hates America!

[Geek mode]

Actually no, the plan was to draw Mordor forces to the Black Gate not Gondor. Thus allowing teh gay hobbits to destroy teh ring.

In this analogy, Iraq are the lands previously held by Mordor (Just outside the black gate) not Gondor proper. Gondorian/Rohirim invaders obviously are the American/alliance forces and Mordor/Haradrim axis forces obviously the contemporary forces of Islamic Terrorism.

Now who in this anaology are teh gay hobbits? and what is teh ring? Do we have Richard Simmons poised in a elven burka about to destroy The Black Stone of Kaba?


[/Geek mode]

edit- Damn xposting with other Geeks.

[Proteus_MST]

I hope they have issued Anti-Ringwraith missiles to the troops stationed in Iraq.
They might need them