Dear god. The Finns are trying to steal Lake Superior!

[Drake Tungsten]

I can't believe no one noticed this before! The world's foremost lake thieves have cleverly positioned themselves to steal the world's greatest lake. Observe...



See that concentration of evil Finns on Michigan's Upper Peninsula? What are they doing there? There's nothing in Northern Michigan to attract immigrants... unless you're out to steal a lake that is. And it may already be too late to stop them.

In fact, the U.P. has the highest concentration in the world of Finns outside of Europe, and the only Finnish-language television broadcast outside of Finland.

http://www.tripcart.com/usa-regions/Northern-Michigan/Overview-Culture.html

Look at how entrenched they already are! They're so secure that they feel safe to broadcast openly in their own wretched language! Can it be long before they strike? Hell, they're probably pumping the waters of Lake Superior back to Stockholm as we speak!

Anyone have any suggestions on how best to counter this newly discovered threat? And is anyone else as certain as I am that the damn Canucks are complicit in this attack on America?

[Tattila the Hun]

Stockholm...

In Soviet Union, lakes steal you.

[Drake Tungsten]

The situation is even worse than I thought...

There have been intermittent (and not always serious) calls for the Upper Peninsula to declare independence from the United States; these calls receive little popular support. Only slightly more serious is a movement for secession from the state of Michigan; secessionists propose making the peninsula into the state of "Superior" (named for Lake Superior).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upper_Peninsula_of_Michigan

Goddamn you, Finns! I won't sit idly by while you turn the UP into America's Quebec!

[BeBMan]

Originally posted by Eli
WTF?! Why are there so many Germans?

They are everyywhere

[Drake Tungsten]

Oh my god. The rabbit hole is deeper than I could have possibly imagined. Michigan's Upper Peninsula is heavily Finnish, but the largest Finnish community in America (and outside of Scandinavia, for that matter) is a little town in Florida called Lake Worth. Of course, the fact that this town is called Lake Worth should come as no surprise, but there's more to this Finnish outpost than just their usual thieving. No, there is a far more nefarious plot at work here, which became apparent when I happened to check who the most famous residents of Lake Worth are. Who is the most famous resident of Lake Worth, Florida? Why, none other than kiddy-fiddler and recently disgraced U.S. Congressman Mark Foley...

Coincidence? I think not. Clearly, the Finns are trying to use a sex scandal (possibly involving one of their own sleeper agents?) to break the Republican Party's stranglehold on power in Washington. At the moment I have no evidence as to what their ultimate goal is, but I would imagine that they want Democratic control in Washington in order to compromise our nation's security. In a Democratic-run America, there would be no one to stop the theft of Lake Superior, the illegal immigration of so-called "supercitizens" across our borders or the implementation of Scandinavian-style socialism in the world's beacon of liberty. Indeed, the Democrats would be valuable allies in the Finnish war on America.

Will this fiendish plot succeed? Will the Democrats seize power and put us all at risk of attack from our foreign enemies? I pray to god that we can avoid this fate, but I'm not sure that even Karl Rove is strong enough to stop the Finns this time. Well played, you reindeer-humping bastards. Well played indeed...

[DRoseDARs]

Son of Evil, evil Finland...

[Drake Tungsten]

Does anyone know when the last Suomithreadi was? Or why Stefu has been so conspicuously absent for the last year? The Finns seem awfully busy lately. Suspiciously busy, if you ask me...

[DRoseDARs]

President Bush better hurry up and attack Iran, starting WWIII and killing us all...



...before the Finns do.

[Eli]

WTF?! Why are there so many Germans?

[Tattila the Hun]

Originally posted by Eli
WTF?! Why are there so many Germans?

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?postid=4611135#post4611135

[chequita guevara]

Lake Worth in in Palm Beach County. It's full of radicals.

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by Eli
WTF?! Why are there so many Germans?

Cuz those are mostly empty counties.

[Dinner]

Originally posted by BeBro


They are everyywhere

We've been through this before. Most of these nationalities really aren't. It's a German/Mexican/Swedish/Italian/whatever guy who moves to the US to find work and ends up marrying a local girl (normally of UK or Irish origin). This couple has kids with the guy's last name and their kids go on to marry other local kids.

The result is the grand kids have a german name but are really only 1/4 German yet the census claims they are ethnic Germans.

[Wezil]

Excellent distraction Oerdin.

[Jon Miller]

I am mostly German/English with significant parts of Pole and/or Ukranian

(Others are Dutch, French, and American Indian)

JM
(My Greatgrandma (who died recently) remembered a time when most of her family spoke Dutch)