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Reply: Thorn ANGRY! You wouldn’t know Mental Illness…
…if a sign defining it fell out of the sky and crushed you to death!
I guess since you are reading this you might realize I’m not dead and you're not going to find my missing obituary at this time.
I am quite appalled by some of your behavior, and you deserve a thorough tongue lashing.
Clarification to Asher:
Your callous remark deserves its own section, sure I have made many a thread talking about how ****ty I feel at times and how often I wish I wasn’t here, but I have, ONLY, made 2 suicide threads counting this one. The first time I was in college and almost didn’t make it. I had gone through the preparations to put my affairs in order, and that included Apolyton. I gave Alexander’s Horse my login information so he could continue me after my passing, because I didn’t want all of you to miss me.
This time again I was getting my affairs in order, even on Apolyton, clearing my profile, deleting my contact lists on ICQ, AIM, IRC, MSN, YIM and in anger taking my name of the rolls of the Apolyton Hall of Fame. What did you do, but say “why don’t I bump my last suicide thread?” Well, that was 3 years ago, at least.
I am not happy with you. You should be ashamed of yourself. I considered you sorta a friend at one point, and at least a cordial acquaintance lately.
This isn’t like saying that you suck because I don’t agree with you, or you are a Mac person and they all suck. This is a serious matter, and you treated it very immaturely, callously and recklessly.
Everyone Else:
I have gotten out of the hospital, and almost didn’t make it. My boyfriend was going to come on here and blast you for it, but I told him to wait and I’d have my say.
Regardless of what you think about someone when they say they are suicidal, you DO NOT, laugh at them, ridicule them, or say they are not serious about it. It's in poor taste, in the least, and could cost someone their life. I’m very certain my family would not be happy to find out that I didn’t make it because of some people on the internet picked on me at a vulnerable time, and they would have lost their (son/brother/brother-in-law/uncle/boyfriend). Yeah that’s right, I am a REAL person. Your words to other REAL people sometimes have great effect. You can hide behind your internet personas for as much as you want but actions that you take online can have huge consequences.
Now I know all of you aren’t like this, but a great many of those that responded to my thread are basically acting like a bunch of predatory vipers. This is exactly the reason, and I talked to him about it on occasion, Giancarlo does not and will not ever post here again. I am not certain if I will even stay now, or will leave for good, that is indeterminate at this point.
Who turns a suicide thread into a debate thread!!? What kind of people are you, if I had announced I had terminal cancer would you have debated whether Cancer exists! And yes Major Depression is a lot like cancer in some ways, it may not always kill you, can be treated sometimes, but can also be terminal, (ie you end up dead when you kill yourself). You have no respect or caring for other people, everything is just a big game to you Well that little game almost got me killed, and I’m not happy about it.
I was having a particularly troubled time recently. I had some trauma from my past brought up, to the point that I asked my doctor to put me on some new anxiety medication, but instead of helping it made me terribly depressed and unstable. Add to that the fact I had to go off it and was going through drug withdrawal, and the timing for your viper-like behavior (no offense to snakes intended), was at the worst possible time.
Sure you can sit there and argue that mental illness doesn’t exist, and the people that have it are weak and need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. That is, however, a fallacy.
Do you know that I had no reason to be as crazy as I was. I had a loving caring family, but a chemical imbalance in my brain caused me to become hateful, violent, and psychotic. Medication was necessary for me to just control myself enough so I don’t massacre people. I suffer from a form of schizophrenia called schizotypal, I also have Major/Minor/Seasonal/nighttime clinical depression, post traumatic stress disorder, and am close to borderline personality. I am indeed not well, and anyone, even if half of the stuff I said wasn’t true (and it is), that goes on like I do IS NOT IN THEIR RIGHT MIND….regardless of their intentions… Do you think I like feeling like **** every night, and a great deal of the time, do you think I like it when I snap for no reason and come very close to hurting/damaging others, NO! I do it because I have a chemical imbalance, and in spite of my good intentions I can not always control how I feel, what I feel, or what I do.
And to those that say they have lost their patience with me, saying that I should get help, I have for years since I was 17 (I am now 23), I have a psychologist and a psychiatrist that I see on a regular basis. In spite of your preconceptions, they let people walk the street and not live in an institution so long as they are not seen as a threat to themselves or others, not in regards to how crazy their beliefs/ hallucinations, etc are… I ask for help here sometimes because I considered this place my home on the internet and you all as weird kind of family. I probably won’t make that mistake again now that I have seen some of your true colors. This is exactly why this stuff is called mental illness, because it isn’t something you can read a self-help book, or talk to people and get an immediate resolution. If I don’t get worse in my lifetime and break into full schizophrenia, treatment path for me is still a long and hard road. Asking for help isn’t a sin, and isn’t something you should shun. If more people asked for help, and gave help, the world would be a much better place. Perhaps the best thing to do is stick to the old advice, if you can’t say something nice/helpful then DON’T say anything at all.
On another note, regarding the supernatural, god, demons and ghosts those of you that are not totally atheist to a fault should remember that Jesus (a supernatural being) spent his time with people that were not well off, prostitutes, lepers, and poor people, he didn’t spend his time with rich stable working people, so don’t think that it is impossible for me to know or be involved with anything supernatural just because I have my own set problems (mental) and aren’t a priest/bishop/televangelist type.
If people would treat others with respect, dignity, and try not to harm others intentionally or accidentally the world would be 10 times better, but some of you have proven that this isn’t going to happen any time soon.
(edit: fix a few things)
(edit: For clarity)
I guess since you are reading this you might realize I’m not dead and you're not going to find my missing obituary at this time.
I am quite appalled by some of your behavior, and you deserve a thorough tongue lashing.
Clarification to Asher:
Your callous remark deserves its own section, sure I have made many a thread talking about how ****ty I feel at times and how often I wish I wasn’t here, but I have, ONLY, made 2 suicide threads counting this one. The first time I was in college and almost didn’t make it. I had gone through the preparations to put my affairs in order, and that included Apolyton. I gave Alexander’s Horse my login information so he could continue me after my passing, because I didn’t want all of you to miss me.
This time again I was getting my affairs in order, even on Apolyton, clearing my profile, deleting my contact lists on ICQ, AIM, IRC, MSN, YIM and in anger taking my name of the rolls of the Apolyton Hall of Fame. What did you do, but say “why don’t I bump my last suicide thread?” Well, that was 3 years ago, at least.
I am not happy with you. You should be ashamed of yourself. I considered you sorta a friend at one point, and at least a cordial acquaintance lately.
This isn’t like saying that you suck because I don’t agree with you, or you are a Mac person and they all suck. This is a serious matter, and you treated it very immaturely, callously and recklessly.
Everyone Else:
I have gotten out of the hospital, and almost didn’t make it. My boyfriend was going to come on here and blast you for it, but I told him to wait and I’d have my say.
Regardless of what you think about someone when they say they are suicidal, you DO NOT, laugh at them, ridicule them, or say they are not serious about it. It's in poor taste, in the least, and could cost someone their life. I’m very certain my family would not be happy to find out that I didn’t make it because of some people on the internet picked on me at a vulnerable time, and they would have lost their (son/brother/brother-in-law/uncle/boyfriend). Yeah that’s right, I am a REAL person. Your words to other REAL people sometimes have great effect. You can hide behind your internet personas for as much as you want but actions that you take online can have huge consequences.
Now I know all of you aren’t like this, but a great many of those that responded to my thread are basically acting like a bunch of predatory vipers. This is exactly the reason, and I talked to him about it on occasion, Giancarlo does not and will not ever post here again. I am not certain if I will even stay now, or will leave for good, that is indeterminate at this point.
Who turns a suicide thread into a debate thread!!? What kind of people are you, if I had announced I had terminal cancer would you have debated whether Cancer exists! And yes Major Depression is a lot like cancer in some ways, it may not always kill you, can be treated sometimes, but can also be terminal, (ie you end up dead when you kill yourself). You have no respect or caring for other people, everything is just a big game to you Well that little game almost got me killed, and I’m not happy about it.
I was having a particularly troubled time recently. I had some trauma from my past brought up, to the point that I asked my doctor to put me on some new anxiety medication, but instead of helping it made me terribly depressed and unstable. Add to that the fact I had to go off it and was going through drug withdrawal, and the timing for your viper-like behavior (no offense to snakes intended), was at the worst possible time.
Sure you can sit there and argue that mental illness doesn’t exist, and the people that have it are weak and need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. That is, however, a fallacy.
Do you know that I had no reason to be as crazy as I was. I had a loving caring family, but a chemical imbalance in my brain caused me to become hateful, violent, and psychotic. Medication was necessary for me to just control myself enough so I don’t massacre people. I suffer from a form of schizophrenia called schizotypal, I also have Major/Minor/Seasonal/nighttime clinical depression, post traumatic stress disorder, and am close to borderline personality. I am indeed not well, and anyone, even if half of the stuff I said wasn’t true (and it is), that goes on like I do IS NOT IN THEIR RIGHT MIND….regardless of their intentions… Do you think I like feeling like **** every night, and a great deal of the time, do you think I like it when I snap for no reason and come very close to hurting/damaging others, NO! I do it because I have a chemical imbalance, and in spite of my good intentions I can not always control how I feel, what I feel, or what I do.
And to those that say they have lost their patience with me, saying that I should get help, I have for years since I was 17 (I am now 23), I have a psychologist and a psychiatrist that I see on a regular basis. In spite of your preconceptions, they let people walk the street and not live in an institution so long as they are not seen as a threat to themselves or others, not in regards to how crazy their beliefs/ hallucinations, etc are… I ask for help here sometimes because I considered this place my home on the internet and you all as weird kind of family. I probably won’t make that mistake again now that I have seen some of your true colors. This is exactly why this stuff is called mental illness, because it isn’t something you can read a self-help book, or talk to people and get an immediate resolution. If I don’t get worse in my lifetime and break into full schizophrenia, treatment path for me is still a long and hard road. Asking for help isn’t a sin, and isn’t something you should shun. If more people asked for help, and gave help, the world would be a much better place. Perhaps the best thing to do is stick to the old advice, if you can’t say something nice/helpful then DON’T say anything at all.
On another note, regarding the supernatural, god, demons and ghosts those of you that are not totally atheist to a fault should remember that Jesus (a supernatural being) spent his time with people that were not well off, prostitutes, lepers, and poor people, he didn’t spend his time with rich stable working people, so don’t think that it is impossible for me to know or be involved with anything supernatural just because I have my own set problems (mental) and aren’t a priest/bishop/televangelist type.
If people would treat others with respect, dignity, and try not to harm others intentionally or accidentally the world would be 10 times better, but some of you have proven that this isn’t going to happen any time soon.
(edit: fix a few things)
(edit: For clarity)
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