I might not come back here..... I guess........ convince me otherwise or not, either.

[Datajack Franit]

I made my own birthday thread every year since 2002

[snoopy369]

You need a good SAVAING ...

Where is the $#%#$ when you need him ...

[Zkribbler]

Originally posted by Thorn
people are afraid of me

Why??? Do you look threatening? What are you, a big hairy unwashed lugg??

I couldn't make someone smile if I stiched their mouth into one

Hey, Thorn cracked a joke

[Mrs. Tuberski]

zkribb i think then thorn meet his goal u smiled

[Cort Haus]

You know in all the time I've been here, never has anyone wished me a happy birthday without me prompting it........ I guess........ I don't feel appreciated......

Well, I'm sure you're not the only one, so you needn't feel unique. I avoid that disappointment by not putting my birthday details in the profile. Problem solved.

[Darius871]

My advice is to drink heavily.

[Mercator]

In what part of the US do you live? Maybe it would be a good idea to move to a big city like, say, New York or Los Angeles. You don't have tying you down where you are now anyway, so move. You've got nothing to lose.

I haven't had birthday threads either, nor do I have any friends to speak of. Not anywhere near where I live anyway. But then that's largely my own doing.

I think there are people here who do care. I do, to some extent, because well, I don't actually know you. But you've convinced yourself you're worthless already anyway, so you dismiss anything positive or helpful anyone might say to you.

But while places like Apolyton are a nice place to "hang out", don't try and find affirmation there, because you won't get it. Not because of you, but because a forum like this just isn't the right place for that. Though I suppose it also depends on your personality. I haven't made any friends through Apolyton, even though I like hanging out here. Maybe others have, but then that's probably because they're actually chatting to eachother on MSN, or playing multiplayer games or whatever. Something more personal than these forums anyway.

I'm not religious, but you seem to be. Try and find a community that accepts gay people and talk to someone there.

[SlowwHand]

quote:
Originally posted by Thorn
people are afraid of me


Why??? Do you look threatening? What are you, a big hairy unwashed lugg??
quote:

He isn't French.

[Japher]

this is really sad... Thorn preempting his birthday like this

I was planning an over the top birthday thread unlike any other, but I guess now it would just seem... uh.... pointless

anyway

[Lorizael]

You, EvC, are a useless sack of chemicals and feces with no purpose in life except to eventually fall apart and become nothing. This sucks a lot. So instead of doing and being something that sucks a lot, flick off the universe and decide for yourself what you want to be.

Who gives a **** if the universe is going to descend into chaos and fire; this doesn't concern you. You are a useless sack of chemicals and feces, and nothing else. God and Jesus and the Middle East and the Apocalypse have absolutely nothing to do with your uselessnes.

So find something that means something to you and your feces infested self.

Mods. I am not insulting Thorn. I'm just not very good at this motivational crap.

[Japher]

sounded motivational to me

until the second paragraph

[Blaupanzer]

Thorn,

One, we are all worth something. I find your threads quite stimulating mentally, if a little off-key. If you left, you would be missed, a better circumstance than it is for most of the rest of us.

Two, birthday threads can be insiduous when one is depressed. "How come they get one, and I don't?" can be used very easily by most of us to "prove" we don't matter. Actually, birthdays are not something most of us even notice in relation to folks on the threads. The age range here is really much wider than almost any other site I have ever been on. This means birthdays (own and others) have different values and meanings to various ones among us.

Three, depression will yield to the right meds combo if you will let it. Yes, it takes time to find that combo, but don't give up. Brains are still much more complicated than our understanding of them. I have been where you are. It's hell, but you can work through it if you are willing.

Four, I doubt that anything hell would have to offer is any worse than that terrible emptiness of "nothing really matters." Most things in life have only the value you give them, so there is no cosmic "point." That does not mean life is not worth living. It does mean you have to figure out what matters to you, a virtually impossible feat when in the throes of depression. Get around this thru distractions.

One thought, you probably came here because you play (or played) civ. Try going back to that, a distraction is worth its weight in gold when you are down. Play at a level you can win and beat the crap out of your demons as represented by the other civs. This has worked for me on occasion, while my lizard brain (the id) sorted thru why things looked like they did.

Get a grip. Go back to telling us what you see. Play a computer game. Work your way up to reading a book. Then you can consider where and when you can reconstruct a life worth living. May your soul find peace.

[Darius871]

...or you could just pour yourself a few Martinis. Problem solved.

[Blaupanzer]

I might have gone on a bit too much. I like Thorn; think his threads are fun; and could care less what his sexual orientation is. I really would miss those wild excursions.

[SlowwHand]

Couldn't care less is what I think you mean. One of my trigger words.