Stupid puns to kill the boredom

[Tiamat]

I know you silly git! See let this be a lesson to you, never leave an old dragon alone, sick and with a bottle of Nyquil.

[Combat Ingrid]

Nevermind then. You want Kofi?

[Vince278]

Originally posted by Combat Ingrid
I said Hu is the president of China

[abbottandcostello]
I thought Hu was on first.
[/abbottandcostello]

[alva]

Originally posted by Combat Ingrid
Hu is the president of China

Secretary: - Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you.
George B. : - Good, send her in.
Secretary: - Yessir.

(Hangs up. Condi enters.)

Condoleeza: - Good morning, Mr. President.
George B. : - Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening?
Condoleeza : - Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the new leader in China.
George B. : - Great, Condi. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza : - Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China.
George B. : - Well, that's what I want to know.
Condoleeza : - But that's what I'm telling you, Mr. President.
George B. : - Well, that's what I'm asking you, Condie. Who is the new leader of China?
Condoleeza : - Yes.
George B. : - I mean the fellow's name.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The guy in China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The new leader of China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The Chinaman!
Condoleeza : - Hu is leading China, Mr. President.
George B. : - Whaddya' asking me for?
Condoleeza : - I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George B. : - Well, I'm asking you, Condie. Who is leading China?
Condoleeza : - That's the man's name.
George B. : - That's who's name?
Condoleeza : - Yes.

(Pause.)

George B. : - Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condoleeza : - That's correct.
George B. : - Then who is in China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir is in China?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.
George B. : - Then who is?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.

(Pause. Crumples paper)

George B. : - Condi, you're starting to piss me off now, and it's not 'cause you're black neither. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. So why don't you get me the Secretary General of the United Nations on the phone.
Condoleeza : - Kofi Annan?
George B. : - No, thanks. And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap.
Condoleeza : - You want Kofi?
George B. : - No.
Condoleeza : - You don't want Kofi.
George B. : - No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Not Yassir! The guy at the United Nations.
Condoleeza : - Kofi?
George B. : - Milk! Will you please make that call?
Condoleeza : - And call who?
George B. : - Well, who is the guy at the U.N?
Condoleeza : - No, Hu is the guy in China.
George B. : - Will you stay out of China?!
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condoleeza : - Kofi.
George B. : - All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condoleeza : - Hello. Rice, here.
George B. : - Rice? Good idea. And get a couple of egg rolls, too, Condi. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get chinese food in the Middle East? I don't know.

[Vince278]

[atomant]

man walks into a bar.... ouch

horse walks into a bar... barman says why the long face

[Kinjiru]

Originally posted by Tiamat
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

You know he was just Knighted by the QoE? The British Order must be getting desperate. He's Welsh for goodness sakes!

[civman2000]

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish.

I don't get this one.

[Japher]

a fish is a fish

it's like what do you call a guy who graduates last in his class from Med School? Doctor.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender says, "for you, no charge."

[civman2000]

a fish is a fish

it's like what do you call a guy who graduates last in his class from Med School? Doctor.

But it would be so much better if it were:

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

[Japher]

that would be funny

[Darsnan]

Originally posted by Combat Ingrid
I said Hu is the president of China

Originally posted by Tiamat

I don't know who?

And Wot is a temple in Thailand....


I remember at a previous company we were discussing our IT Leaders background. Essentially in the old country he was a trained professional OB/GYN doctor, but couldn't get a license to practice in the US. One of the people in the discussion rationalized his situation by saying "Well, (ob/gyn) is a pretty deep subject" to which I replied "Pun intended?"


D

[Japher]

My daughter's doc is named Dr. Fix. I giggle everytime I hear that.

[Winston]

My former hairdresser (who's now retired) was named Mr. Kruse, which would translate to Mr. Curly.

[Lord Avalon]

Originally posted by Winston
My former hairdresser (who's now retired) was named Mr. Kruse, which would translate to Mr. Curly.

Was he bald? Nyuk nyuk nyuk.