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I've just been on the worst date of my entire LIFE!!!
I'd been hitting it off with a chick called Rebecca; she's 23 so a bit older than me, very clever, very attractive, just my kinda girl. We went to a bar, two drinks and she was vomiting like a penguin so I left. Unfortunately, before she started hugging the toilet, we met one of her friends, Sara. I left the bar and went to another. Sara followed me
.
This girl was fugly. We're not talking your run-of-the-mill "OMFG I would rather be castrated with a red hot, blunt chisel than hit it with you", we're talking elephant with proteus syndrome ugly. The elephant thing isn't far off, she was HUGE as well, easily over 6 feet tall, built like canary wharf! I was thinking to myself that I had to come up with a damn good excuse otherwise she'd beat me up.
With retrospect, I probably should have just said sorry, we're not clicking, I gotta go; and just walk out. Unfortunately I'm too much of a gentleman to be honest, so I strung it out, she kept ordering drinks on MY tab (
). Eventually she went to the toilet so I set the alarm on my phone to go off in 10 minutes.
She got back, my phone went off, and I said that I had to go, "my dad's had a heart attack I have to catch a train to London". I thought that would be the end of it but no, she actually wanted to walk me to the train station (about half a mile from where we were)
. I mean, how the hell do you get out of something like that? I guess I should have been "cruel to be kind" earlier in the evening. What would be an appropriately incisive thing to say in such a situation.
Now I live in a suburb about 3 or 4 miles south of Northampton, getting back would have been a nightmare and considering that she'd been raping my overdraft enough that evening, I wasn't about to get a taxi, so I bought a ticket to Milton Keynes, and took the bus back up to Northampton which passes close to where I live. £2 cheaper than a taxi
.
I feel so socially inept
.
I'd been hitting it off with a chick called Rebecca; she's 23 so a bit older than me, very clever, very attractive, just my kinda girl. We went to a bar, two drinks and she was vomiting like a penguin so I left. Unfortunately, before she started hugging the toilet, we met one of her friends, Sara. I left the bar and went to another. Sara followed me
.This girl was fugly. We're not talking your run-of-the-mill "OMFG I would rather be castrated with a red hot, blunt chisel than hit it with you", we're talking elephant with proteus syndrome ugly. The elephant thing isn't far off, she was HUGE as well, easily over 6 feet tall, built like canary wharf! I was thinking to myself that I had to come up with a damn good excuse otherwise she'd beat me up.
With retrospect, I probably should have just said sorry, we're not clicking, I gotta go; and just walk out. Unfortunately I'm too much of a gentleman to be honest, so I strung it out, she kept ordering drinks on MY tab (
). Eventually she went to the toilet so I set the alarm on my phone to go off in 10 minutes.She got back, my phone went off, and I said that I had to go, "my dad's had a heart attack I have to catch a train to London". I thought that would be the end of it but no, she actually wanted to walk me to the train station (about half a mile from where we were)
. I mean, how the hell do you get out of something like that? I guess I should have been "cruel to be kind" earlier in the evening. What would be an appropriately incisive thing to say in such a situation.Now I live in a suburb about 3 or 4 miles south of Northampton, getting back would have been a nightmare and considering that she'd been raping my overdraft enough that evening, I wasn't about to get a taxi, so I bought a ticket to Milton Keynes, and took the bus back up to Northampton which passes close to where I live. £2 cheaper than a taxi
.I feel so socially inept
.
nice story
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