Church + Girlfriend problem.

[Cyclotron]

Originally posted by Zoid


Are you ****ing kidding me, bT? You are truly a horrible person if that is what you belive. What are you some sort of fascist darwinian? Helping third world countries is our ****ing responsibility if you do it through proper channels and in the right way (helping them to help themselves; digging wells and stuff like that).

There is a case to be made that such handouts only make people in 3rd world countries dependent on outside aid, inflating population past the ability of local resources to sustain it and discouraging local economic development...

...but not in this thread.

As for the OP, some very good advice has already been given all around. You need to be comfortable with the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with; think carefully if this is really right for you. Don't marry somebody just because you feel bad about dropping out on them.

[binTravkin]

Are you ****ing kidding me, bT? You are truly a horrible person if that is what you belive. What are you some sort of fascist darwinian? Helping third world countries is our ****ing responsibility if you do it through proper channels and in the right way (helping them to help themselves; digging wells and stuff like that).

There is a case to be made that such handouts only make people in 3rd world countries dependent on outside aid, inflating population past the ability of local resources to sustain it and discouraging local economic development...

...but not in this thread.

You can open a new thread where people who know something about it will politely tell you the story.

[Tim_Augustus]

btw, talking to her about it won't work, I have tried that 2-3 times before, she ends up crying and depressed and I end up giving in and going to church just for her. But I just can't keep doing this for the rest of my life. It does not feel right.

my mistake...

Your gf's religion is obviously very strong and perhaps has a fundamentalist edge to it - its very easy for us to say 'run away, don't look back' but there must be strong and important reasons that you have remained with her for that length of time - you have to decide whether a life of religious pretence (and lost sunday morning sleep-ins) is worthwhile in the end; its obvious this issue is a serious problem for you as you have brought it up here .

[beingofone]

This church I am assuming is a Pentecostal/Charasmatic church?
The "thus sayeth the Lord" thing is called prophecy. It is the belief that the one speaking is under the divine utterance of God.
A good question I have found is -- Jesus spoke Aramaic and Moses spoke Hebrew. Why do you speak in the King James English if God spoke in other languages? Is that because we read the King James Bible? Is that the Bible and language of the Apostles?

Concerning tithes -- There are only these references in the NT;

Matthew 23: 23. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
24. Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.

Try saying this -- I am focusing on judgment and mercy and I need to get the weighter matters of the law down first.
It is so hard keeping the law, how do you manage to keep the whole law of Moses?

They will probably say "we are not under the law of Moses". You could say -- "OK I guess that means that clears up the tithes issue".

Luke 18: 10. Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
11. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
12. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
13. And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
14. I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

Quote this and say "I think I shall be the second man like Jesus wants me to be".

Hebrews 7: 5. And verily they that are of the sons of Levi, who receive the office of the priesthood, have a commandment to take tithes of the people according to the law, that is, of their brethren, though they come out of the loins of Abraham:

Say this "Could you point put the sons of Levi so I can pay tithes according to the scripture".

As far as your GF -- she is afraid of God and serves him out of fear.

Take care SnOOpy

[Snotty]

Its sounds like youre actually getting something out of going to church, listening to the message and trying to understand it etc. Thats what I get out of the religious side of my christian charity group anyway. Although Im not sayng its the most productive use of your time before the anti-religious lot jump on me

with regards to the talking in tongues, I think its a matter of personal preference with what you are comfortable and used to. I know fully commited christians who have sought out other churchs and denominations because they didnt feel comfortable with some of the more far out activitys of the church. You just need to find a community thats right for you.

As for the girlffriend, bT advocates what I would do

so my opinion is you should first try to be strong and not succumb to her will.
Be a man.
If she starts whining about how you are heretic and unbeliever, simply ignore her.
If it gets unbearable, go out somewhere, doing preferably neutral thing (not going to bar or to your ex-gf), so she doesn't get offended.
After a month or two, you should be clear about whether it gets better and she has learned something, or not.

Im sure even the best of women try to force us to do things we dont want to do, you need to put your foot down and dont back down. After all, YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT with regards to this. That doesnt mean she isnt going to throw a wobbly to try and get you to do it. Stay calm and make your case

[polarnomad]

Originally posted by Tim_Augustus
you have to decide whether a life of religious pretence (and lost sunday morning sleep-ins) is worthwhile in the end; its obvious this issue is a serious problem for you as you have brought it up here .

When children come into the picture and start asking their questions, a life of religious pretence will become very difficult to manage IMO. I mean if the mother and father agree to disagree then fine, the children can be exposed to contradicting yet co-existing beliefs. If OTH the problem is just swept under the rug, it may lead to conflict within the family especially if Sn00py is simply to keep his mouth shut while the mother of his children teaches them religious views that he disagrees with fundamentally... especially since children seem very important to him.

[polarnomad]

Originally posted by beingofone
This church I am assuming is a Pentecostal/Charasmatic church?
The "thus sayeth the Lord" thing is called prophecy. It is the belief that the one speaking is under the divine utterance of God.
A good question I have found is -- Jesus spoke Aramaic and Moses spoke Hebrew. Why do you speak in the King James English if God spoke in other languages? Is that because we read the King James Bible? Is that the Bible and language of the Apostles?

Presumably, a God, being a God, would not find him/herself limited by language.

[binTravkin]

Presumably, a God, being a God, would not find him/herself limited by language.

Similarly, a God, being a God, would find a better way to bring forth his message than language, which can be misunderstood and misinterpreted easily.
Like, say, voice in ones head(mind).

[DRoseDARs]

Or could it be that some people are too stupid to know the difference? Remember: "If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it ought to be good enough for the children of Texas.” --Texas Governor Ma Ferguson, est. 1924. Quoted in All Pianos Have Keys, 1994

[binTravkin]

I quoted that too, recently, and methinks cheguitz gevara has it in sig..

[DRoseDARs]

That's where I first saw it. God bless Texas... 'cause Lord knows, left to their own devices, they'll devolve into hedonistic chaos without it.

[Dinner]

Sounds like a wacked out church.

[Stuie]

Originally posted by Oerdin
Sounds like a wacked out church.

You forgot to end that with "thus sayeth the lord."

[TheStinger]

Does she sleep with you?

[binTravkin]

Does she sleep with you?

Yeah, indeed, I would never marry a woman having not her tried out in bed (I know it sounds brute, my English is not good enough to say gentler).