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20 Best Excuses for Calling in Sick

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  • #16
    I fell onto a helicopter
    "I predict your ignore will rival Ben's" - Ecofarm
    ^ The Poly equivalent of:
    "I hope you can see this 'cause I'm [flipping you off] as hard as I can" - Ignignokt the Mooninite

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    • #17
      A helicopter fell on me
      Monkey!!!

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      • #18
        I was pushed out of a helicopter by Fez.
        “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
        - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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        • #19
          I'm Fez and had to push people out of my helicopter all the time
          Blah

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          • #20
            I'm Fez
            Monkey!!!

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            • #21
              Originally posted by BeBro
              I'm Fez and had to push people out of my helicopter all the time
              The enemy cannot push a button if you disable his hand.

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              • #22
                How about some excuses that are a bit more plausible...the flu? What is the most under-used excuse that actually sounds reasonable?
                ...people like to cry a lot... - Pekka
                ...we just argue without evidence, secure in our own superiority. - Snotty

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                • #23
                  I was there, you just didn't notice me behind the rolling rack.
                  One day Canada will rule the world, and then we'll all be sorry.

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                  • #24
                    I was too drunk to show up.
                    "The French caused the war [Persian Gulf war, 1991]" - Ned
                    "you people who bash Bush have no appreciation for one of the great presidents in our history." - Ned
                    "I wish I had gay sex in the boy scouts" - Dissident

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                    • #25
                      migrains? that one is good because you they are chronic and you can use it over and over

                      the wife is sick

                      my basement flooded
                      Monkey!!!

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Caligastia
                        How about some excuses that are a bit more plausible...the flu? What is the most under-used excuse that actually sounds reasonable?
                        I'm sick.

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                        • #27
                          I usually just say I'm not feeling well

                          if they want more information I'll lie, if I have to

                          they really shouldn't need more than that
                          Monkey!!!

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                          • #28
                            I may tell them my prostitutes give me morning discounts. You really can't pass that **** up.

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                            • #29
                              hungover
                              Monkey!!!

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                              • #30
                                I find it's best to be as cryptic as possible. "I won't be able to make it in today"

                                Best to avoid actually talking to anyone as well - leave a message at a time you know nobody is there to answer or send an email.
                                ...people like to cry a lot... - Pekka
                                ...we just argue without evidence, secure in our own superiority. - Snotty

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