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Why OzzyKP's crusade must be stopped now...

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  • #1

    Why OzzyKP's crusade must be stopped now...

    Page not found - The Onion
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30414


    Voting Age Lowered to Six
    RoboForce 5 Announces Bid For Presidency

    October 29, 1996 | Issue 30•12

    WASHINGTON—Just hours after Friday's passage of a 28th Amendment granting full voting rights to all U.S. citizens six years of age and older, renowned anti-evil organization RoboForce 5 announced its candidacy in the 1996 presidential election.


    And so on. Funny one.
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  • #2
    A nine year old Onion article? I didn't know it had been around for that long.
    "The French caused the war [Persian Gulf war, 1991]" - Ned
    "you people who bash Bush have no appreciation for one of the great presidents in our history." - Ned
    "I wish I had gay sex in the boy scouts" - Dissident

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    • #3
      uhm... hasnt it existed for decades?

      edit: oh, since 88. Thought it might have gone back to the 70s for some reason.
      Resident Filipina Lady Boy Expert.

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      • #4
        I am a proud AGEIST.
        To us, it is the BEAST.

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        • #5
          I didn't even realise it dates that much back.

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          • #6
            Supposedly they've been around for a whole century.
            Visit First Cultural Industries
            There are reasons why I believe mankind should live in cities and let nature reclaim all the villages with the exception of a few we keep on display as horrific reminders of rural life.-Starchild
            Meat eating and the dominance and force projected over animals that is acompanies it is a gateway or parallel to other prejudiced beliefs such as classism, misogyny, and even racism. -General Ludd

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            • #7
              If the team is elected, it would be the first time a black, an Asian, and two women have ascended to the presidency.....

              Despite never having held public office, RoboForce 5 has been instrumental in many crises of national security, all of which involved enormous alien lifeforms sent to Earth on missions of destruction by intergalactic tyrant SkullTron. Using its color-coded, animal-themed flying vehicles, which join to create a larger humanoid robot, the team has repeatedly defeated the space tyrant.
              A decisive blow for diversity and civil rights in this country AND a President who would be tough on threats to this country. I think we have a winner.

              If RoboForce 5 was elected president Osama Bin Laden would have been captured years ago and September 11 never would have happened. The last 5 years would be immensely more peaceful and prosperous.

              Think of how much better off the world would have been if the voting age was lowered.
              Last edited by OzzyKP; November 24, 2005, 11:39.
              Captain of Team Apolyton - ISDG 2012

              When I was younger I thought curfews were silly, but now as the daughter of a young woman, I appreciate them. - Rah

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              • #8
                Ozzy
                "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
                "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
                "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

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                • #9
                  No war in Iraq, no gigantic deficits, no terrorism, no Bush, AND bigger allowances. Its like a paradise world.

                  Kids voting

                  Commanders in Chief RoboForce 5

                  Spiffor
                  Captain of Team Apolyton - ISDG 2012

                  When I was younger I thought curfews were silly, but now as the daughter of a young woman, I appreciate them. - Rah

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                  • #10
                    Ted Striker
                    We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution. - Abraham Lincoln

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Kontiki
                      A nine year old Onion article? I didn't know it had been around for that long.
                      Why do you hate The Onion?
                      “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                      "Capitalism ho!"

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                      • #12
                        Why do you hate Kids?

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                        • #13
                          Because they're smelly and have big doodoo heads.
                          “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                          "Capitalism ho!"

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Ecthy
                            Why do you hate Kids?
                            They grow up into people like you.
                            Why can't you be a non-conformist just like everybody else?

                            It's no good (from an evolutionary point of view) to have the physique of Tarzan if you have the sex drive of a philosopher. -- Michael Ruse
                            The Nedaverse I can accept, but not the Berzaverse. There can only be so many alternate realities. -- Elok

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                            • #15
                              That's a reason to admire them. Now those of your kind...

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