Does anyone know anything about a repressed libido?

[Kuciwalker]

Originally posted by johncmcleod
Take a look at this:

http://channels.netscape.com/men/package.jsp?name=fte/effectofporn/effectofporn

It is on the effects of porn.

Try this one: http://thetruthforyouth.com/NEW%20Co...pages/PC_1.htm

[Jaguar]

Truth for Youth be Yarrr and woo

[johncmcleod]

I can't be bothered to read back but IF you actually feel sexual urges, I can't imagine what the problem could be. Don't overthink!! Rub yourself, feel pleasure clean yourself up . . . repeat as needed.

If you don't feel desire, don't masturbate!!

I won't masturbate because if I do, that means I'll either look at porn or I'll imagine things in my head. I don't want to be another one of those lusty, shallow males that there seems to be so many of. If I look at porn, it will objectify women, cheapen my view of sex so that I see it as more physical and less affectionate, make me more lusty and shallow, etc. It will change the way I view women, and it will make my expectations for how they look even higher. My other option is to use my imagination, but I know that I will think of girls I know during the process (I won't be able to help it), and that would make things really weird and creepy and make it more difficult to interact with them.

What should I do? I'm not sure about continuing to hold it back.

[Kuciwalker]

I won't masturbate because if I do, that means I'll either look at porn or I'll imagine things in my head.

Yes. What's wrong with that again?

I don't want to be another one of those lusty, shallow males that there seems to be so many of.

Dude, there's nothing shallow about masturbating or even lust any more than there is about eating. The only thing that can reasonably be called shallow is mistaking lust for love.

If I look at porn, it will objectify women, cheapen my view of sex so that I see it as more physical and less affectionate, make me more lusty and shallow, etc.

Jesus Christ, you ARE exactly like the ****ing dumbass in the Truth for Youth comic!

What should I do? I'm not sure about continuing to hold it back.

Take the DL's advice.

[Dis]

Originally posted by Japher


be confident and comfortable

how does one become confident and comfortable?

you just knew I was going to ask that.

[johncmcleod]

Most people view porn negatively, and it promotes lusty, unaffectionate sex. Whether or not you confuse lust with love, watching porn is going to have an effect on you, at least subconsciously. It will change your sexuality, and I don't think there is anything you can do to stop this. But what really scares me is that a lot of people get addicted to it. I think there are psychological problems with it that we probably don't understand, and the fact that it is something that you can get addicted to (in fact I've heard an internet porn addiction is as strong as an addiction to nicotine) sets off some red flags in my mind. Not because I am afraid I'll get addicted to it (but that could be a valid concern, being addicted to porn would be horrible), but anything that someone can get addicted to is not something to be taken lightly and should be viewed with suspicion. It seems to me that it is something that is quite powerful that shouldn't be messed with.

[Kuciwalker]

Most people view porn negatively

Actually, most people view it positively.

and it promotes lusty, unaffectionate sex

So?

Whether or not you confuse lust with love, watching porn is going to have an effect on you, at least subconsciously. It will change your sexuality, and I don't think there is anything you can do to stop this. But what really scares me is that a lot of people get addicted to it.

Stop playing Civ then.

[Ted Striker]

John there is something you know about yourself but you won't admit it. It's like stuck deep down.

All of your posts go back to the same theme, "I just wrote an entire page long about how normal I am but I want something more but I don't know what it is."

Nobody spends THAT much time doing self-contemplation unless there is something about themselves they won't be honest with themselves about.

I think you're skating around it but won't go in for the kill. Maybe it's something painful or maybe you think it's something too silly that a "tough guy" like you should be ashamed about and you should just "suck it up and be a man" about it.

So what exactly is the problem?

We don't expect you to share that kind of information with us (I'd prefer you didn't) here, but go talk to someone about it. PLEASE.

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by johncmcleod
The thing is though I think most guys are really shallow and lusty. Get a group of guys together talking about sex and you'll see what I mean. I think there is a problem with the male sex drive. The majority of molesters are male. I think all rapists are male (obviously with a few one in a million exceptions). Way more males masturbate than females, and this is statistically proven. More males look at porn, too. Males also tend to be more into the physical aspects of the relationship. Males also tend to view sex as a means to get physical pleasure rather than an act expressing affection.

I don't want to be like that.

Then don't be like that. It's been a long time since I've watched porn, and I almost never had sex without affection. And yet I have an actual libido, and I masturbate regularly (being single for the past 6 months now). If I can do it, you can do it too.

And this comes from someone who was exposed early to porn

[Az]

Ted Striker

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by Dis
what I find difficult to accept is there's not a single women in the entire world that will go out with me.

Maybe you are just too desperate. Women avoid desperate men like the plague.

Originally posted by Dis
Women want a man who is experienced, but how can I get experienced when women don't want inexperienced men?

Not sure about that. Women look for love first and foremost.

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by johncmcleod
Whether or not you confuse lust with love, watching porn is going to have an effect on you, at least subconsciously. It will change your sexuality, and I don't think there is anything you can do to stop this.

According to what?

Does playing violent games make you a raving mass murderer?

Originally posted by johncmcleod
But what really scares me is that a lot of people get addicted to it.

Not my experience when I was in uni. Believe me there were tons of lusty men there.

So I am not sure where you got that from, either.

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by Dis
how does one become confident and comfortable?

you just knew I was going to ask that.

1. Become a volunteer
2. Work out

[Ted Striker]

Urban Ranger we should make that a Sticky FAQ

[johncmcleod]

John there is something you know about yourself but you won't admit it. It's like stuck deep down.

All of your posts go back to the same theme, "I just wrote an entire page long about how normal I am but I want something more but I don't know what it is."

Nobody spends THAT much time doing self-contemplation unless there is something about themselves they won't be honest with themselves about.

I think you're skating around it but won't go in for the kill. Maybe it's something painful or maybe you think it's something too silly that a "tough guy" like you should be ashamed about and you should just "suck it up and be a man" about it.

So what exactly is the problem?

We don't expect you to share that kind of information with us (I'd prefer you didn't) here, but go talk to someone about it. PLEASE.

Ted, I think things are being blown out of proportion. One, I tend to exaggurate when I write, so all of it sounded worse than I meant it. And two, I am too cheery and well functioning to suffer from depression. Though I am uncomfortable with myself, and there are periods where I feel depressed, this isn't any different than any normal teenager. Most of the time I feel pretty good, I am rarely grumpy and I smile a lot. However, I think a lot. And within the last couple of years, I have pointed that thinking inward. So I analyze myself a lot, and it has made me smarter and I have learned a lot about myself.

But I definitely am honest with myself. Brutally honest. Like sometimes I discover things about myself that I don't like at all, sometimes I discover that I am not as good a person as I thought I was. But this is honesty, I never hide anything from myself. I think it has been a good thing. I just tend to over-analyze everything, I think too much. I have always had that problem, but I don't believe it is anything that requires professional help. I am not a 'tough-guy,' but I am just too happy and well-functioning to get expensive, professional 'help' that probably doesn't help in the first place.

Actually, most people view it positively.

Not according to that poll.

According to what?

Does playing violent games make you a raving mass murderer?

According to common sense. Something like that is going to influence you. As far as violent video games go it isn't a good analogy. One. video games put you in situations so different from real life that it won't affect you. Porn, however, puts you in a situation that is real, and when you are in that situation, the porn will influence it. It is just the effects of brain-washing. Stuff like that gets in your subconscius and influences you. Of course, just as pkaying a violent video game won't make you a mass murderer, watching porn won't make you a mass rapist. However, subconsciously it will have an effect on you. That is why there is research that shows playing violent video games makes people feel more violent. Of course, they don't necessarily do something as drastic as kill someone, but it has a negative influence on you subconsciously. And come on, people definitely get more into porn than video games.

So I am not sure where you got that from, either.

I have heard it from a lot of places. And in fact, interent porn is considered so potent that the catholic church won't let you be a priest if you have ever looked at it. And the catholic church doesn't normally have requirements like that for being a priest, they just believe that you can put your past life behind you and become a man of God. So it shows it is kind of a big deal.