So I found out my friends are doing drugs

[Frankychan]

Originally posted by Ted Striker
I was actually in the same situation as Franky at age 24. In my case the friend was getting out of control, violent, suicidal, and crazy. It was a black hole I was getting sucked into.

My life was going one way and my friend's was going the other. It was time for me to move on.

I got tired of the lying and especially the manipulation.

Well at least you kinda know where I'm coming from. My friends arent violent, or suicidal, but I feel that they are getting out of control and a little crazy.

I think it's cause most of them are still going to college and are in the 'college experimental phase'. I'm out, and I think "Man, we're all 25 or going to be and I can't be doing stuff that I was doing at 19-21-23 NOW". Time to get my act together.

Worse part is that one of my friends is supposed to get married.

[KrazyHorse]

There's nothing wrong with drinking, or theoretically with any drug, really.

The problem is that drugs are addictive, and can sometimes cause you to do crazy things.

If you're wasting your life trying to get high then that's ****ed up. If you get violent when you're high then that's ****ed up. If you can't find a meaningful job or a relationship because you're high so much then that's ****ed up. I can't stand to watch people do that to themselves.

[Pekka]

RIght, right, I'd agree with that.. if he is leaving anyway, why not on good note?? I see no reason why it should be all negative and stuff.

As for other stuff.. I'd wait until someone screws up. Before that.. why bother judging. If you can't stop it really, I'd just let it slide, but when the screw ups starts to come into the picture, then it's a matter of evaluating the relationship again.

Also, some people won't screw up. That's why I said this all. LIke my some of my buddies, some of them used to party taking extacy, amphetamine etc. But did they ever do it outside from those occasions? No. And now none of them does that stuff at all, not for years. Well OK they do smoke but I guess that doesn't count. And I was their friend all through the time, never had a bad experience. Not a single one.

Thus I say.. wait and see if something happens.

[OzzyKP]

Originally posted by Frankychan
Well guys, you're all right.

I guess I just need some time to cool off and get my head straightened up. The thing is that after I found out I really couldn't look at them. Crap, I felt sick...which was pretty unique...it's like total disgust with someone that you want to hurl. I don't know if I can hang around them in public for a while.

I know exactly how you feel. And I know your situation all too well. Most of my friends from high school were druggies. One ODed like 2-3 years back, one has been in and out of prison for the last 5 years, and one is just dumb as a brick, has health issues and just sits around the house collecting disability and doing pot and watching NASCAR - oh and he's got 2 kids with two different mothers, and isn't dating either. He is a total redneck.

They've all done coke, and meth, and many other things. The one in prison may have even done heroine.

I wish I could advise you with what I did, but I don't have any real good advice. I tried all through high school to help. Bailing my one friend out of jail, setting a good example, telling them how drugs were just gonna **** up their lives (wonder who won that bet?), etc. But they just wouldn't talk to me about drugs anymore, or would lie to me. Except my dumb friend, he just talks about weed all the time.

I never really cut off any of them, well the two still alive I guess. The dumb one I still stay in touch with and he came to visit me here in DC a few months back. (****er owes me a bunch of money now though... *sigh*).

I dunno. Maybe cutting them off really is the way to go. Maybe I'd be better off if I had done that long ago. I'm just a very forgiving person. I don't make friends easily, so when I do make them I tend to hold onto them forever. I've known these guys since like 1st or 2nd grade, so its real hard for me to just tell them to get lost.

I've given up thinking I can help them though. I don't think they are ever going to get their lives straight. Thankfully I now live 10 hours away here in Maryland, so I don't have to deal with them anymore than like once or twice a year when I go back to Michigan. If you're leaving too then I guess that'll work as well. You don't have to cut yourself off, just distance yourself a bit. Make new friends who have similar life priorities.

But yea, I get strong emotional reactions thinking about drugs. Not really with my friends anymore, they are all hopeless losers and I've given up caring, but if I date a girl and find out she's smoked pot, even if a while ago, it really makes me naucious.

I'm with Ted. No alcohol and no drugs for me. I've seen the damage they cause, I want no part of them.

[Sava]

get some new friends

[Urban Ranger]

I think you may have been too harsh, Franky. Of course, I don't know your situation, and these friends of yours have always been screwed up and stuff like that... But if this is the first time they did something really stupid, I say they deserve a second chance. We are all humans and we all mistakes. Some of us have managed to avoid big mistakes so far, but not everybody is so lucky.

You have your head screwed on straight, and perhaps this is the time when they need you most, to pull them back out.

Again, as I said, I don't know the situation at all. It is your call, and only you can make an informed decision.

[red_jon]

Yeah, just my opinion but I think you've been a little harsh as well (though obviously that's your call to make).

The fact that they've taken cocaine doesn't suddenly make them different people.

I was teetotal until I was 17, long after a lot of my friends had started drinking and I really looked down on them for it. It creeped me out because they were taking a substance that affected their mental state and I didn't understand it - it's a natural reaction, but not necessarilly a right one.

I'm not saying cocaine improves anyone's life (though I've never taken it myself) but it doesn't mean it will destroy them either.

Don't rush into doing anything. If they're truly your friends and you respect them then by all means give them your advice - but you have to respect the choices they make as well.

[Sava]

yeah cocaine isn't so bad

look what it did for george w bush

[DeathByTheSword]

my rule of life is i never go further than weed and hasj...i always tell my friends that also because one old friend is in rehab right now...there is no real reason to take the change with coke, meth, XTC, etc etc. but i never dropped him...i always tried to help him...how to help? i have no idea...just try to talk to him...get him away from those bad influences...and never give him money...take them out for diner ok...but never cash...to risky...but it doesnt always help as he is now in rehab....but i have some younger friends (17, 18) that i can tell not to do anything stronger then hasj or weed...and well they all right now are still listening....it all depends on the person in question i think

[Sava]

Originally posted by DeathByTheSword
my rule of life is i never go further than weed and hasj...

wise

I assume you mean hash...

never tried hasj

does it **** you up?

[MOBIUS]

Cocaine is fine as long as it's not cut with any **** - the point is not to get sucked into it...

Friends of mine got sucked into the Coke and E lifestyle and it became an expensive habit for them because the buzz was so good - but they were finally able to break the cycle as they were mature enough to realise what it was doing to them.

Sounds to me that they're just being reckless ****ers in general, so they're gonna act like ****ers no matter what and have to get that immaturity out of their system...

doesn't mean you have to be around to have them drag you down with them.

Everything in moderation I say - including Coke...

[chequita guevara]

I've got no problem with people who do drugs, as long as they aren't addicts. I've got no problem with people who don't do drugs, as long as they aren't jerks about it. I'm pretty live and let live, as long as you don't screw me over.

[Dis]

Originally posted by red_jon
Yeah, just my opinion but I think you've been a little harsh as well (though obviously that's your call to make).

The fact that they've taken cocaine doesn't suddenly make them different people.

I was teetotal until I was 17, long after a lot of my friends had started drinking and I really looked down on them for it. It creeped me out because they were taking a substance that affected their mental state and I didn't understand it - it's a natural reaction, but not necessarilly a right one.

I'm not saying cocaine improves anyone's life (though I've never taken it myself) but it doesn't mean it will destroy them either.

Don't rush into doing anything. If they're truly your friends and you respect them then by all means give them your advice - but you have to respect the choices they make as well.

that doesn't matter. It's annoying sitting in a room full of people doing drugs. That's why I don't hang out with my friend from high school. I refuse to do it.

[Frankychan]

Huh...well....Hmmm.

I guess I should just think about this. Ozzy and U.R.-you guys sound like to just try and get their heads on straight. I think I need a break from them and like youse guys said, put a little distance between us.

Seriously, when I heard what they did, I felt like gagging. I don't know about them not becoming addicts or anything, I HOPE that they don't get hooked on it. But a few of my friends have been in and out of school (college) and doing drugs constantly. I look and see where they are and it's like they got no ambition (some of my friends) and just want to do drugs, go to bars and get hammered, and be content with that.

Yeah, I think this move will definitely get my head on straight.

I think I'll wait a couple of days to cool off some more and have a very light and brief talk with them about trivial crap. I think it's going to take some time for me to get over this bullcrap.

[OzzyKP]

Yea, that all makes sense.