TSN reports NHL deal to be announced today

[Wezil]

CFL football tried the same brilliant approach.

[Ming]

I can't believe he's turning down the TV revenue... a complete moron. Nobody has been cheaper throughout the years. He never signs costly free agents, and lets his good players go because he won't pay them. And he wonders why interest in his team declines each year... When he drops dead, his son will probably take over. I would hate to think we have to wait for that happen before we have a team worth watching again.

The other hockey team in town is doing great. The Wolves are always in the hunt for the championship. Their slogan is "losing bites"... which must really get under Wirtz's skin

[Wezil]

On a lighter note (Sun paper haters please skip):

Fri, July 15, 2005

The good, the bad & the worst news about NHL's return

By IAN SHANLEY -- Winnipeg Sun


Remember the NHL? This week, it would appear that the Players Association (motto: gimme, gimme, gimme) and team owners (motto: no) arrived -- much too late for us to care -- at a contract agreement.

Sure, the staring contest is over.

Sure, the players blinked first.

Sure there's a salary cap.

Sure, we missed out on a Calgary Flames Stanley Cup win.

Sure, there are some items I would like to see in the fine print of this new contract.

Sure, we can review them right now. As with every contract, some things just go from good, to bad, and even worse.

1. The good news? The adoption of a shootout.

The bad news? If, after 15 minutes, the game is still tied, the two team captains will meet at centre ice (that's centre hice for you Habs fans!) where a best-of-three round of Rock, Paper, Scissors will decide the outcome.

The worst news? They can't take their gloves off!

2. The good news? The jumbo screen situated above the rink will have a running total of how much money each team member is making during the game.

The bad news? While you drink $7 beer and watch.

The worst news? It's American beer!

3. The good news? Players salaries were cut.

The bad news? Ticket prices were not.

The worst news? They still make 27 times your salary!

4. The good news? The penalty box is a thing of the past.

The bad news? Infractions of the game's rules will now allow the penalty maker to continue playing.

The worst news? Without skates!

5. The good news? Four more teams will be added to the NHL's roster, two in each conference.

The bad news? This will bring the total number of teams to, uh, 98.

The worst news? Ninety-six of them will make the playoffs, which will end the day before the start of the next season!

6. The good news? Jeremy Roenick is banned from talking to the media.

The bad news? None.

The worst news? The guy whose job it is to bleep out profanities will be unemployed!

7. The good news? Players will now be paid based on their performance.

The bad news? A lot of them will probably be homeless by 2007.

The worst news? Panhandling will soon be illegal everywhere!

8. The good news? The enforcer -- or goon -- from each team will be easier to identify, since he is no longer allowed to wear a helmet.

The bad news? It is to replaced with an Elmer Fudd style cap, complete with ear flaps.

The worst news? Someone will have to be hired to train them on how to put the caps on!

9. The good news? Hockey Night In Canada will return to TV this fall!

The bad news? So will Don Cherry!

The worst news? And Ron MacLean!

10. The good news? Just like us ordinary citizens, a player assaulting another player with his hockey stick will be charged under the Criminal Code.

The bad news? And promptly given a ride home.

The worst news? With Danny Heatley.

It may take a while to get used to this new contract. On the other hand, it didn't take us long to get used to there not being hockey this past year.

Everybody ready?

Game on!

[Ninot]

light hearted was right

that felt like it was written by a 6 year old.

Only part i found humorous was the Dany Heatley part.

[Wezil]

Originally posted by Ninot
light hearted was right

that felt like it was written by a 6 year old.

Only part i found humorous was the Dany Heatley part.

So you are the one that stole Mr Fun's sense of humour. I was wondering where it went.