I want to be civilized

[Pekka]

YEAh.. so that I can carry myself in future events like a pro. OK first let's start with what we need.. I mean what I need. What do you guys think? I list few things... let's first list things and then start detailing after that.

Wines. I need to learn about wines. I know nothing about wines except there's red and white. I had this excellent red wine few weeks ago and it changed my world into 'hey.. I really do like wine after all'. So I need to be pro at this. Not TOO pro, you knwo the type that spits it afterwards, but I need to knwo my wines like a pro so that I can enjoy it more and that I can impress with my mad skillz.

[General Ludd]

When ever you order a wine, send atleast one bottle back after tasting it. If there is stuff floating around at the bottom of the bottle, make an issue of it. Then you'll look like a pro.

[Pekka]

No I said I want to be pro, not ******* ..

You see, I filled up my profile to the internet.. like dating thing, and I searched the ones that matched me best, and it was weird. It was 85% weirdos and TRUE FREAKS. I mean the girls that might cut your bits off when you sleep. Really scary types.. mostly goths, satan worshippers, psychos and nutties. And then 15% were absolute super beauties, like classic beauties, with super degrees and super income and super sexy smart types. Really weird, I got like zero normal girls.

So I want to skip the freaks and get to the super. So I found out that they were all civilized and **** so I need to be too if I ever go out to date them.

[SlowwHand]

Who gives a damn about wine? Real tough. Red with beef and white with white meats and be done with it.
Concentrate on things like not drooling on yourself.

[Pekka]

haha that might be too much to ask though.. the drooling part .

Yeah but I thought the same until few weeks ago I had wine that.. well I just think I should look more into it. Not to mention it'll go well with the high class babes I'm about to save from the cruel world of stupid men.

[Zkribbler]

Wines are a good start. They give you class:

Originally posted by SlowwHand
Who gives a damn about wine? Real tough. Red with beef and white with white meats and be done with it.

And with in between stuff, like spaghetti, choose a rose. Always look down your nose at chablis and vin rose.

Some stuff your mom tried to teach you but couldn't:
(1) Don't swear. (That's a lot harder than it sounds.) Profanity and class do not mix.
(2) Good posture. Look at Governor Schwartenegger. No matter how many bad things you can say about him, you can't fault his posture.

Attitude:
Thoreau said, "Every man is my superior in some way. And from that, I learn." Thoreau is one of America's most famed philophers. If he looks to everyone as a source of learning, so can you.

Finally, belt your pants up around your waist, not over your hips. Civilized guys wear their pants high...no, I don't know why.

[Spiffor]

If you date somebody who is used to "civilized" habits, you should avoid faking your own "civilized"-ness. An adept will always, always spot the newbie who tries too hard, no matter the topic*


*this applies to absolutely any kind of practice. An adept computer nerd will spot it if you try too hard to fake computer-nerdness. An adept construction worker will spot it if you want to impress him and try to look as a 1337 construction worker. Anybody who has some genuine knowledge of wine, fine arts, or anything, will immediately spot that it's not natural for you, and that you're trying to impress.

[Immortal Wombat]

Originally posted by Spiffor
An adept will always, always spot the newbie who tries too hard, no matter the topic*

QFT.

Casually mentioning something you know a little about when the conversation is going the other way makes it seem like you know a lot more without having to go into detail. Appearing reluctant to boast about hidden depths of knowledge is often far cooler than having them.

[Lawrence of Arabia]

this is the guy who couldnt pick up a phone and call a girl? and he wants to learn how to distinguish wines so he can impress. but who is he gonna impress?

[Provost Harrison]

Perhaps you could learn from Jilly Goulden

[reds4ever]

Originally posted by Zkribbler

Thoreau is one of America's most famed philophers.

The expression 'damning with faint praise' springs to mind

[JohnT]

Do you have manners? Knowing about wine isn't going to convince anyone that you're civilized when you hush the crowd with a "Goddamn, this is one tall drink of ********er!"

[Zkribbler]

Egad, there's never a string of asterisks around when you need them.

[DerSchwarzfalke]

I hope this newfound interest in wine isn't because you just watched Sideways.

[Pekka]

NO NO and NO. I said I first got the interest after actually liking red wine I had. I only rambled about the internet dating thing later on. I want to be able to possibly enjoy more of the wine world. That's it.

Who do you take me for anyway, I have manners, I don't swear in front of strangers or when I have to be respectable anyway. It's not like it's difficult for me not to swear. I normally do not swear, not a single word.

And now you all go 'ohh but why do you want to act someone else just to impress some girl and she'll find out you're a fake'.. guys, it sounds like you're projecting your own fears or experiences or something. I don't know what you are even talking about. It's only a plus benefit that some classy girls might also like wine, there's nothing wrong knowing about wines adn then impressing someone with the knowledge. What's fake about that, it's not a trick I want to learn so I can hit the sack with some chick. I want to learn it even if there was no chicks, period.

But I guess the girls weren't so impressed with the nunchuck skills, guys? ****.. come on give me a break.


And no, I didn't get my only interest because I saw Sideways, which I did see by the way. I liked the movie.