obession or devotion

[boann]

Originally posted by Lancer
"by macho i mean... well they are usually what you would call a mans man... conservative, right wing, hunter..fisherman.. types... me tarzan you jane "

Yeah, fishermen are the pits.

lol... you know what i mean.. meathead

[boann]

Originally posted by boann
what sort of actions would you think are obsessive?

and no im not in a relationship
just thinking .....


is writing a letter every day obsessive or is that just devotion....
is once a week more like friendship?
how many phone calls cross over the line of interest to something else?

i know the apparent things like everyone else..
that show obsession or stalking..
following them , or calling 20 times a day,
or breaking into someones house..
those everyone knows cross the line ..
but what things have happened to you
that made you feel uncomfortable ?

ok back ontopic... jezzz
so no one has any answers to these pressing questions

[Lancer]

Well, you described me pretty well, except I don't hunt anymore, not for ages in fact. Fish..ugg, I don't like to touch them, they're slimey.

[boann]

Originally posted by Lancer
Well, you described me pretty well, except I don't hunt anymore, not for ages in fact. Fish..ugg, I don't like to touch them, they're slimey.

well then you and i will not be getting married

[Sprayber]

Originally posted by boann
not taken are too green for me i prefer mine with a little more dust on the bottle

About a foot and a half has collected on my bottle.

[boann]

Originally posted by Sprayber


About a foot and a half has collected on my bottle.

is that right where have you been all my life

[Sprayber]

Originally posted by boann



is that right where have you been all my life

Arkansas, Georgia, Oklahoma, Italy, Germany.

And here on Poly...

[boann]

[Lancer]

"well then you and i will not be getting married"

I'm married and I still have to deal with rejection.

[Verres]

Originally posted by boann
what sort of actions would you think are obsessive?

and no im not in a relationship
just thinking .....


is writing a letter every day obsessive or is that just devotion....
is once a week more like friendship?
how many phone calls cross over the line of interest to something else?

i know the apparent things like everyone else..
that show obsession or stalking..
following them , or calling 20 times a day,
or breaking into someones house..
those everyone knows cross the line ..
but what things have happened to you
that made you feel uncomfortable ?

I would say the answer to all the questions re letters/calls etc would be yes, thats obsessive - unless the other person reciprocated, and indulged in the same behaviour.

I know relationships with a controlling partner are, quite rightly, called unequal. Well, its a similar situation if one person is totally infatuated and devotes every hour of their life to another person (in thought or actions) when they just don't feel the same way. Determination is good, but people have to know when someone is just not after the same intensity of relationship, or is just not interested.

[boann]

Originally posted by Lancer
"well then you and i will not be getting married"

I'm married and I still have to deal with rejection.

hehe, you'll get over it

[Whaleboy]

Devotion is love/enfatuation when you're thinking/feeling only for the other person

Obsession is love/enfatuation when you're thinking/feeling only for yourself... knowingly or unknowingly playing Jesus to make yourself feel better.

[Kidlicious]

I don't think I've ever been the slightest bit attracted to women who might have been obsessive about me.

[Japher]

what sort of actions would you think are obsessive?

and no im not in a relationship
just thinking .....

Growing up and to this day my parents have these friends, she's chinese and he's white. Her sister married this guy and totally obsseses over him. We went to their house for dinner one time and dinner was set to begin at 6pm, 7pm comes and goes and no dinner. The host, my folks friends, decides to serve dinner despite the protesting of her sister to wait for her husband, because he is late. The host says that he is the one is late and that not everyone should have to wait on his account... Her sister stormed out of the house mad as all hell.

That, is obsessesion.

Devoition would have been if her sister would prepare and keep warm a plate for her man.

is writing a letter every day obsessive or is that just devotion....
is once a week more like friendship?
how many phone calls cross over the line of interest to something else?

I leave notes around the house for my wife to find when I'm not there. She likes it. A letter everyday might be a bit much, unless it is short like "have a good day, love you, see you tonight"

Phone calls? If you are in a relationship with someone I don't see why a half hour every night can't be tolerated, just to see how each others days went.

[Verres]

Originally posted by Whaleboy
Devotion is love/enfatuation when you're thinking/feeling only for the other person

Obsession is love/enfatuation when you're thinking/feeling only for yourself... knowingly or unknowingly playing Jesus to make yourself feel better.

I'm not sure it's that clear cut. People obsessed with someone often neglect their own physical and mental state to a dangerous degree, let every other area of their life suffer because of their feelings for that person.

Devotion is a nice idea and yeah, is probably completely selfless, but can be equally detrimental in the end. The person who cannot see fault in their partner no matter what they do or how they treat them, who always takes them back? Is that because they are feeling only for the other person, or because they are vulnerable and scared of being alone?