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A female friend of mine is having a drinking problem. But when I confront her with it she´s yelling at me and says that I have the problem. She´s doing quite allright by her own standards. It´s come to a point where I might have to end our friendship because I can´t stand here when she´s drunk. Tonight we were at a quiz night a english pub in my neighborhood, and she already started the night at home with some wine. So she´s already quite drunk when she gets there. And three pints later she can hardly stand up straight or have a conversation (not to mention follow the quiz). She gets out before the quiz has ended and heads for Burger King. Me and the other guy in the quiz team leave soon afterwards, the quiz is shot to hell anyway 
I hook up with her at BK and tell her that I want to go home because the quiz and the annoyingly rowdy crowd at the pub has ruined my mood, which is at least partly true - before I knew she was already drunk I proposed a pint at our favourite pub further down the street. Something I´m definitely not in the mood for now.
The thing is I don´t feel at all comfortable with her when she´s drunk. And she is ruining the quiz which is supposed to be a good time with some mates and a few pints. Instead I´m just sitting there worrying that she´s drinking too much. A bit self centered perhaps, but true nevertheless.
And as I mentioned above she gets real defensive when I say that I think that she drinks too much. But she does. She´s always got to have that last beer even though she almost always has one or two beers more than me. She gets real drunk real quick when earlier she was something of a bottomless pit. Classic signs of alcoholism, right?
My biggest worry is that it´s not unlikely that she tells me to take a hike if I put her on the spot and make her choose between me and the booze. And that I don´t want because when she´s not drunk she´s really nice and I really like hanging out with her. And to complicate the matter further I´m somewhat in love with her and have been since we met for the first time, four years ago. She knows that and she´s cool with it, but I´m pretty sure she uses it from time to time. I want to be with here no matter what, and she knows that. We spend a lot of time together, and she rarely socializes with others (she´s got other friends). And since my oldest friend moved to Australia just the other day, she´s one of two close friends left.
Anyway, what the **** can I do? You can´t change another person, that´s for sure.
Comments, suggestions, smart remarks?
Edit: Sorry for the rambling...
I hook up with her at BK and tell her that I want to go home because the quiz and the annoyingly rowdy crowd at the pub has ruined my mood, which is at least partly true - before I knew she was already drunk I proposed a pint at our favourite pub further down the street. Something I´m definitely not in the mood for now. The thing is I don´t feel at all comfortable with her when she´s drunk. And she is ruining the quiz which is supposed to be a good time with some mates and a few pints. Instead I´m just sitting there worrying that she´s drinking too much.
A bit self centered perhaps, but true nevertheless. And as I mentioned above she gets real defensive when I say that I think that she drinks too much. But she does. She´s always got to have that last beer even though she almost always has one or two beers more than me. She gets real drunk real quick when earlier she was something of a bottomless pit. Classic signs of alcoholism, right?
My biggest worry is that it´s not unlikely that she tells me to take a hike if I put her on the spot and make her choose between me and the booze. And that I don´t want because when she´s not drunk she´s really nice and I really like hanging out with her. And to complicate the matter further I´m somewhat in love with her and have been since we met for the first time, four years ago. She knows that and she´s cool with it, but I´m pretty sure she uses it from time to time. I want to be with here no matter what, and she knows that. We spend a lot of time together, and she rarely socializes with others (she´s got other friends). And since my oldest friend moved to Australia just the other day, she´s one of two close friends left.
Anyway, what the **** can I do? You can´t change another person, that´s for sure.
Comments, suggestions, smart remarks?
Edit: Sorry for the rambling...
Really.
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