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I'm an injun, 1/16th, and I need to prove it to get a job.

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  • #61
    "drugs, eat poppy seeds, or take any antihistamines w/in 7 days of the test..."

    This was dinner last night!?!
    Long time member @ Apolyton
    Civilization player since the dawn of time

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    • #62
      Originally posted by Ogie Oglethorpe
      I'ld ask Ward Churchill how he was able to fake it.
      His wife was Cherokee and he got honorary membership in her band.
      Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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      • #63
        (1) Submit a cupful of straight rum instead of urine.
        (2) When you get the results back, claim their test is faulty because no one could be that drunk and still be alive.

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        • #64
          OR...

          Smuggle in someone else's urine, who doesn't do drugs or drink too damn much.

          Sally Fields- oops...
          I'm consitently stupid- Japher
          I think that opinion in the United States is decidedly different from the rest of the world because we have a free press -- by free, I mean a virgorously presented right wing point of view on the air and available to all.- Ned

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          • #65
            Zkrib, it was embarrasing. I had to empty my pockets into a drawer which was then locked. (I think she saw my hash pipe & stash ) then I had to go in a bathroom, pee in an open cup and bring the stinky thing back to her and set it in front of her.

            She then poured it into a smaller cup and sealed it in front of me, had me initial it and then wash my hands. What could be worse you ask? Well, she was a cute blonde that was embarrassed too, and mad at me because of it!

            Ugg.
            Long time member @ Apolyton
            Civilization player since the dawn of time

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            • #66
              "Smuggle in someone else's urine, who doesn't do drugs or drink too damn much."

              Hey, I don't need a job! I could just sell my urine to druggies!
              Long time member @ Apolyton
              Civilization player since the dawn of time

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              • #67
                It's been done...
                I'm consitently stupid- Japher
                I think that opinion in the United States is decidedly different from the rest of the world because we have a free press -- by free, I mean a virgorously presented right wing point of view on the air and available to all.- Ned

                Comment


                • #68
                  Anybody see that pilot TV show last season, which was kinda like Candid Camera only with celebrity look alikes?

                  One was a fake "Ozzy Osbourne" coming up to people and asking them to pee into a cup so he could pass his drug test. It's surprising how many people did.

                  "Madonna" and "JLo" got into a shouting & shoving match in a Beverly Hills bistro.

                  "Tiger Woods" gave free golf lessons, in which he'd get on a loud speaker an announce to the world how bad the golfing students were. One guy got so ticked, he broke one of "Tiger's" gold clubs in two.

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                  • #69
                    Zkrib, the good shows don't do so well do they?

                    I can's see Ozzy having any trouble passing a pee test.
                    Long time member @ Apolyton
                    Civilization player since the dawn of time

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                    • #70
                      Re: Re: Re: I'm an injun, 1/16th, and I need to prove it to get a job.

                      Originally posted by chegitz guevara

                      Bunnygrrl's grandmother used to say she was half Indian (other half being Black), and so BG thought she was 1/8th Indian. As I kept pressing her for info, so she could get Federal scholarships, we discovered that really she (her grandmother) was half white, but was ashamed of being half white and so said her folks were both half Indian. Interestingly, a LOT of Black people have significant amounts of Indian ancestry. Lotta race-mixing between Indians and Blacks in the South.
                      And whites.
                      He's got the Midas touch.
                      But he touched it too much!
                      Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!

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                      • #71
                        Originally posted by Vince278


                        Thats pretty much what I was trying to say. One thing that bugs me about the number of ancestors is it don't add up. If you consider each generation 25 years then going back 1000 years would mean 40 generations. Then the number of ancestors you have 1000 years ago would be 2^40 (2 to the 40th power) or more than 1 trillion. This is WAY more than the population of the entire world at the time. And the further back you go the worse it gets. (Try carrying this back to 4000BC!)
                        A lot of duplications explains this handily. You should be able (theorectically) to trace a lot of your ancestors back to earlier ancestors. If we suppose that there was an original human mother and father, then everyone in your family tree will be able to trace their ancestry back to them.
                        He's got the Midas touch.
                        But he touched it too much!
                        Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Originally posted by Zkribbler


                          "Colonel Custer. Colonel George Armstrong Custer, your hearst is waiting."
                          While we're correcting things, are you sure you didn't mean Hearse rather than Hearst? The first is a wagon or car used to transport bodies to funerals or mortuaries, the second was a famous publisher.
                          He's got the Midas touch.
                          But he touched it too much!
                          Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Re: Re: Re: Re: I'm an injun, 1/16th, and I need to prove it to get a job.

                            Originally posted by Sikander
                            And whites.
                            Whites and Indians or whites and blacks?
                            Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              All of the above. When it comes down to it, there are a lot of Ted Strikers out there.
                              “It is no use trying to 'see through' first principles. If you see through everything, then everything is transparent. But a wholly transparent world is an invisible world. To 'see through' all things is the same as not to see.”

                              ― C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man

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                              • #75
                                (1) Submit a cupful of straight rum instead of urine.
                                (2) When you get the results back, claim their test is faulty because no one could be that drunk and still be alive.
                                What are you talking about? With that alcohol level they'll probably wonder if he's 100% injun
                                Monkey!!!

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