"...so you may or may not have testicular cancer..."

[ajbera]

Hey DRoseDARs, good luck. I'm actually going for a testicular ultrasound today for some swelling/discomfort in the groin coming on the heels of a possible urinary tract infection (rare for men). I'm not suffering, merely occasionally uncomfortable, but it's still nerve-wracking.

[Boris Godunov]

Wow, the best to you and your testes. I'd give them a good luck pat if I could.

[Spiffor]

Good luck

[ajbera]

Thanks guys! The ultrasound went OK, but I'll have to see my urologist or primary care physiciian to get the results (ultrasound wasn't done at hospital). On the positive side, the ultrasound tech was a really pretty brunette named Lisa. Not that these circumstances are arousing, but a pretty face is always nice.

I'll keep you posted with results. Thanks for the good thoughts! I love this community. Best folks in the world.

[Boris Godunov]

I was talking to Drose, actually. I won't pat just anyone's testicles.

So I like to think.

[Guynemer]

Oh, you're a slut and you know it.

ajbera, sounds like you may have had epididymitis.

[ajbera]

Inflammation of the foreskin
reminds me of your smile
I've had ballanital chancroids
for quite a little while
I gave my heart to NSU
that lovely night in June
I ache for you my darling
and I hope you get well soon.

My penile warts, your herpes
my syphilitic sores
Your moenelial infection
how I miss you more and more
You dobie's itch, my scrumpox
our lovely gonorrhea
At least we both were lying
when we said that we were clear

Our syphilitic kisses
sealed the secret of our tryst
You gave me scrotal pustules
with a quick flick of your wrist
Your trichovaginitis
sent shivers down my spine
I got snail tracks in my anus
when your spirochetes met mine.

Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis,
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididymitis, interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis, and anterior u-ve-i-tis.

My clapped out genitalia
is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure
every time I try to pee.
My doctor says my buboes
are the worst he's ever seen
My scrotum's painted orange
and my balls are turning green.

My heart is very tender
though my parts are awful raw
You might have been infected
but you never were a bore
I'm dying of your love my love
I'm your spirochaetal clown
I've left my body to science
but I'm afraid they've turned it down.

Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis,
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididymitis, interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis, and anterior u-ve-i-tis.

"Medical Love Song" by Monty Python

[Pekka]

ajbera,

Anyways, it's true about pretty girls. When I was hurried to hospital for emergency 'surgery' for me hand, I was totally messed up from losing blood, I was in shock and pale as a ghost, well it wasn't dangerous, but I was out there from all the drugs and blood loss, on my back in this joke of an ambulance and the first thing I really notice is that I had ruined my clothes, they were so bloody but then I saw this pretty girl who held my arm. She was a medic, and the first thing I remember being back from the shock is (when I was mostly just quiet), 'hey, your face is getting its colour back.. how are you feeling?'.. it was very comforting to see a pretty face for some weird reason, I was totally calm too. Of course she had to go away after they dropped me there and I got this ugly male nurse so thats when I was starting to feel uncomfortable again .

But yeah, pretty faces it should be a requirement for places where stress is likely to occur.

[Last Conformist]

How did I miss this thread? Best luck to you, DRose!

I believe I mentioned a while ago that I've got a (supposedly) benign cyst in my left bitestis? I had to take umpteen tests for testicular cancer and what not some years ago. Not nice at all, and the nurse doing the manual inspection was all old and wrinkly.

If you've got something similar, you might be in for a life-time of on-and-off pain and permanent sensitivity.

[DRoseDARs]

Bump.

***Update Jan 4:
Diagnosis remains inconclusive. He believes the tenderness stems from an infection that I've received a 20-day antibiotic treatment for. The ultrasound showed what he and another urologist believed NOT to be a tumorous mass, but can't say for certain. As such, I'm schedulled for another ultrasound in a few weeks to see if there's any change and to allow the doctor to more closely examine the testicle. He wasn't able to do that today because it hurt so damn much when bothered.***

OP updated as well.

[Pekka]

This is good news though, isn't it? Except for the part that you have to wait more to know what this is.. but it sounds like chances are it's nothing very serious, yes?

[DRoseDARs]

I wasn't holding my breath before, I'm not holding my breath now. So, in a word, "Yes." 'Tis a good thing.

[Last Conformist]

That sounds alot like I had - a bacterial infection and a benign cyst (well, I've still got the cyst).

[Pekka]

SO if it's an infection... what are we talking about then?

[DRoseDARs]

Explosive leprosy. My nuts are ticking timebombs...