Mafia XV - It's death Jam, but not as we know it...

[Hercules]

eh Tails I suppose

[DrSpike]

Tails or death?

Tails?

I'm sorry, we're all out of tails.

[Hercules]

Hercules goes into his personal chamber and dons his favourite Skintight uniform.

Zopp: does my thighs look big in this?

Captain's Log: Insanity has spread among the men. I nearly survived. Why would a captain murder his own crew?

I wonder how long I can hold my breath.

[Hercules]

Hercules before leaving chamber consults databank and notes this in the first murder report.

"We vote for who we think did it and throw them out the airlock?" asked Jonny.

Everyone looked at him in horror.

"Excellent idea!" said Hercules "You have 24 hours to report back with your vote."

It is now day, and you can vote.

The 24 hours ended at 0914 0r 0915 today.

Frozzy voted at 10.01 0r 10.03 to be more precise. Is his vote valid

[Jamski]

Episode 2 : Open the pod bay doors, Jam!

At about 1200 Shiptime the klaxons summoned the entire crew back to the bridge where Captain Hercules addressed them.

"Men of the ASS Apolyton, the time has come to count your votes to determine who we shall throw out of the airlock!" he declaimed "Choose wisely, and we can rid ourselves of this menace to the crew!"

"I'm not even sure there is a killer on board," muttered Doc.
"What the hell," said Alva, "Let's just vote anyway."
"Isn't this great fun!" bounced Jonny excitably. The others moved away from him a bit.

The votes were soon collected, and the ship's computer read the results out.
"## Medical Officer Doc 7 votes ## Shuttle Pilot Kassiopiea 3 votes ## General Ludd 2 votes ## Technician Urban Ranger 1 vote ## SFC Zopperoni 1 vote ## Captain Hercules 6 votes ##"

Hercules had been adding in his head, and was alarmed to hear his name called, but relieved he had one less vote than Doc. He relaxed, or tried to in his uniform.

The computer continued.
"##Late yet to be added votes 1 ## Time remaining 30 seconds... 29... 28..."

Hercules looked around - who was missing?

Frozzy came bursting in the door.
"You have to vote fast, man!" shouted Theben.
"Ummm...."
"## 15... 14... 13...##"
Frozzy spoke up, out of breath.
"Who should I vote for, Captain?"
"## 5... 4... Vote accepted for Captain Hercules ##"

Hercules fell to his knees, while Doc punched the air with glee.

"## Votes are tied - proceed with random choice option y/n ? ##"

Jon Miller pressed a few keys and a panel on the wall opened, revealing a small tray which held a shiny penny.

"Wow!" said Skanky "Real hard currency!"
"Wait one moment," said Alva "Who's going to do the actual throwing out the airlock business? We have no head of security now."

Hercules sighed.
"Ok, as captain I promote Frozzy to Head of Security."

The men in red uniforms looked at Frozzy with undisguised jealousy for his new speaking role. Frozzy chuckled to himself.
"Now I won't have to get killed on away team missions... not like these losers."

Rah came forward and offered to toss the coin.
"I saw it done once in a historical holofilm," he explained. "It was very educational."

Ghengis reminded himself to checkout those old movies.

So the coin was tossed, Doc called "heads" and heads it was.

Frozzy escorted Hercules to the airlock and put him in, closing the inner door. The crew looked at him though the porthole.

"Its not so bad out there, sir," said Urban Ranger "I go out all the time."
"Yes!" replied Hercules, frantically trying to open the door again. "But you use a super modern spacesuit."
"Sorry sir," said Zopperoni, "But you know they don't make spacesuits your size."

And with that Frozzy hit the panel and the outer doors opened, sending Hercules spinning into the void.

"Oh well" said General Ludd "Guess that puts me in charge now."

-Jam

[duke o' york]

The ship's comms system crackles into life:

USS Apolyton, USS Apolyton. You have now entered the sovereign territory of the Imperial Federation of HongHu. Unless you amend your course immediately or take appropriate remedial action then we shall have no recourse but to open fire. Over and out.

[Hercules]

Captain Hercules still holds his breath.

[Jamski]

Sorry Herc. I'm not such a clock nazi, in fact I didn't even check. If its any consolation the mafia intended to kill you next, but we're going with his second choice... You'll have more time to play SMAC PBEMs now anyway *nudge*

Episode 3 : You're only meant to blow his bloody head off!

Soon life on the ASS Apolyton was getting more organised. On the bridge General Ludd was taking command in his own way.
"Alva!" he bellowed
"Yessir" replied the hapless 2nd Officer "What do you want Ludd, I mean Captain Ludd, sir?"
"Get down to Engineering and help that fool Mart7x5 to get the engines running again."

"Yessir!" Alva moved to run off the bridge, waited untill Ludd had turned to talk to Jonny, stopped, and slowly extended his middle finger at General Ludd's back, before jumping into the lift.

"You brat, Jonny!" shouted Ludd
"Umm... yes sir?" replied the youngster.
"Get that worthless man Vlad to send a message to Earth. Tell them that I'm the new captain now, after an unfortunate incident."
"You still need Federation approval, before you can take command of a starship" interrupted Senator Spiffor "Which I will not give to a meglomaniac such as you."
"FROZZY!" yelled General Ludd "Throw this man into space!"
"## I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid he can't do that ##"
"Why not, you heap of electrical junk?" snapped Ludd, "And my name's not Dave!"

Luckily for the computer's ongoing health Jonny reentered the bridge at this point at a run.

"Sir! Quick! He's dead!" He was nearly crying "Oh sir!"
"Come with me, you lot," said General Ludd. "Who's dead Jonny?"

Jonny lead the crew up to the communications center in the top dome of the ship. From here windows in all directions allowed the stars to illuminate the corpse of Vlad, the Communications Officer, lying on the floor. His head lay on the other side of the room, half embedded in the steel case of an x-ray-radio transmitter.

"His neck appears to be broken," said Doc
"Oh very funny," commented Kassiopeia, "See how we're all laughing"

Noone was laughing, so the Medical Officer continued.
"I mean his head was broken off, and then thrown across the room, judging by this trail of blood and the spray patterns."

There was a moment's silence while the crew digested this.

"But noone's that strong," said Urban Ranger "Not even wearing one of those nice yellow cargoloader power suits."
"Well, actually," said ADG, "They are pretty powerful machines, I think they could do it."

The crew looked around the small cramped dome. There was no way one of those huge machines would fit in here, let alone though the door.

"Same procedure as with the last killer" ordered Ludd "Everyone on the bridge in about 24 hours."

-Jam

[Jamski]

Name

Position

Status



rah

Entertainments Officer

Alive



Hercules

Captain

Dead - Crew



gjramsey

Navigation Engineer

Alive


GhengisFarb

Holodeck Engineer

Alive


alva

2nd Officer

Alive


Tuberski

Head of Security

Dead - superannuated



Guynemer

Intelligence Officer

Alive


Jonny

3rd Officer

Alive


Zopperoni

Aide to Captain Hercules

Alive


Theben

Weapons Officer

Alive


Kassiopeia

Shuttle Pilot

Alive


Doc

Medical Officer

Alive


FlameFlash

Ship's Chaplain

Alive


Mart7x5

Chief Engineer

Alive


Scatty Bums

Recreational Operations Engineer

Alive


Vlad Antlerkov

Communications Officer

Dead - neck broken



ADG

Food Prep Assistant

Alive


General Ludd

1st Officer

Alive


Urban Ranger

Hull Maintainance Techicican

Alive


Spiffor

Federation Government
Representative

Alive


Jon Miller

Data Sorting Officer

Alive


Frozzy
Security Guard

Alive

The clues are as usual enroute

-Jam

[DrSpike]

Perhaps the body was moved? I think we need someone heavily built to have carried out such a brutal assault.

[Jamski]

The clues are sendificated

-Jam

[Zopperoni]

A clue

Its possible that someone is trying to stop those inside the ship from communicating with the outside world.

-Jam

[gjramsey]

3 officers down! more power to the working class...er crew...er whatever...

[rah]

Great Job Jamski, quite the entertaining read. (and good death captain) I looking forward to seeing the clues.

[Urban Ranger]

This seems to rule out the venerable Spiffor.