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  • I hope all the Jews on Apolyton .......

    BURN!!!!!.......their Chaumetz before Passover starts

    HAPPY PASSOVER!

    Put DOWN the flamethrowers-explination below:


    For those who dont know anything with bread/yeast in it is banned to be eaten, or be in the house of most Jews during the holiday of Passover(which starts in 2 days, sooner Israel time). Some of it is ritualistically burned the morning of the first day of Passover.

    For more information on it......




    Excerpt:

    "What is Chametz?

    "Chametz" includes breads, cookies, cakes, pastries, noodles, macaroni, whiskey or liquor. Basically, it refers to wheat, barley, rye, oats or spelt that came into contact (for 18 minutes or more) with liquid. Eating Chametz on Passover is as severe a violation as eating on Yom Kippur.

    The Chametz prohibition applies even to minute particles of Chametz, such as:

    A. Food containing any Chametz, or food processed in utensils once used to process food containing Chametz. All processed foods must have a reliable Kosher for Passover Supervision.

    B. We are not allowed to derive any benefit from Chametz. Example: We cannot buy, sell, or give Chametz as a gift, or use Chametz as pet food for dogs, birds, or fish. If there is no Kosher for Passover alternative, the pet must be transferred to non-Jewish ownership.

    C. Any Chametz left in the house, store, or car, etc., must be transferred to gentile ownership before Passover.




    All chametz found during the search, and all Chametz left from breakfast, must be burned in the (late) morning (Wednesday, March 27), followed by this declaration annulling all Chametz:

    "All manner of leaven in my possession which I have seen or have not seen, which I have removed or have not removed, shall be null and void as the dust of the earth."

    The Chametz Deadline

    Check your calendar for the exact deadline for eating & burning Chametz the morning before Passover for your area.

    Note: Any chametz found in the house during Passover must be burned immediately, unless it is on Yom Tov (1st, 2nd, 7th, or 8th day) or on Shabbos, in which case it should be covered, and burned later during the intermediate Chol Hamoed days, or after Passover.



    The Sale of Chametz

    To avoid owning Chametz on Passover, we sell any remaining chametz to a gentile through the rabbi.

    The gentile buyer gives a deposit, and the balance is considered a loan. The Chametz sale is legally binding, but the option of paying the balance is up to the buyer, who may return it to the seller and retrieve his deposit.

    Place all Chametz utensils in the room or closet(s) to be sold. These designated places should be sealed with tape or locked, not to be opened until after Passover.

    Unsold Chametz

    The prohibition against Chametz also applies to all Chametz owned by any Jew during Passover. It is advisable to patronize only bakeries or groceries owned by Jews who sold their Chametz, or to buy from non-Jewish owned stores. Consult a Rabbi regarding buying Chametz after Passover from supermarket chains with Jewish ownership."






    DISCLAIMER: This is obviously NOT meant in racism, since I all of you know I am one of the more observant Jews on Apolyton. If ANY MODERATOR objects to this post, just delete the thread-no harm done, meant as a bit of holiday humor/information for other apolytonites(Posted this on an Israeli message board, many LOL's all around, so I figured I'd repost it here).
    Last edited by Vesayen; April 14, 2003, 18:35.

  • #2
    The title was funnier.
    www.my-piano.blogspot

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I hope all the Jews on Apolyton BURN

      Originally posted by Vesayen
      DISCLAIMER: This is obviously NOT meant in racism, since I all of you know I am one of the more observant Jews on Apolyton. If ANY MODERATOR objects to this post, just delete the thread-no harm done, meant as a bit of holiday humor/information for other apolytonites(Posted this on an Israeli message board, many LOL's all around, so I figured I'd repost it here).
      If you feel the need to put such a long disclaimer, maybe you shouldn't have posted the title as you did.
      I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
      For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

      Comment


      • #4
        Your beginning to sound like a mod, DD .
        “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
        - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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        • #5
          Nice :goodjob:
          "People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
          - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard

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          • #6
            To us, it is the BEAST.

            Comment


            • #7
              yesireebob, a good joke. BUT due to present events I took the liberty of toning it down a touch.

              RAH
              My apologies. But it was pretty funny. People will still be able to see the orginal title in your first post.
              It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
              RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

              Comment


              • #8
                Notice, that since you changed it rah, nobody has posted until just now.......

                It just doesn't have the oomph it used to.

                ACK!
                Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Yep, I almost feel bad about it.
                  It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
                  RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    What about "I hope all the Jews on Apolyton BUR[ack, oww]...."
                    "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
                    "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
                    "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I have just realized Passover needs gentiles around to proceed as smoothly as possible.

                      What is this religion that acknowledges the legitimacy of other religions ? Why isn't judaism bent on world domination like the others ?
                      "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
                      "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
                      "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Posted this on an Israeli message board


                        Which one?

                        -----------

                        So is the State of Israel going to sell all it's bread(and other chametz stuff) stockpiles to some Druze for a single Shekel again and buy them back when Passover is over?
                        "Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master" - Commissioner Pravin Lal.

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                        • #13
                          As an atheist, I find such dietary laws quaint and amusing. You may be the Chosen of God but I can at least have a sandwich.

                          Happy Passover (I prefer Chaunakah cause at least that's got gifts)
                          Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
                          -Richard Dawkins

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Spiffor
                            I have just realized Passover needs gentiles around to proceed as smoothly as possible.

                            What is this religion that acknowledges the legitimacy of other religions ? Why isn't judaism bent on world domination like the others ?
                            Judaism dosent activley seek out converts........the ultimate goal of Judaism is that at some indeterminate point in the future, there will be no Jews.

                            Jews are supposed to act/live in a manner such as to inspire others to do good/be pious-the ultimate goal of which is some day everyone will be nice to each other, and we arent needed

                            Judaism has something called the noahkide(sp? I know I slaughtered it....) laws. Non Jews arent asked or expected to follow the Jewish laws, and any gentiles who follow the noahkide laws are fine in the Jew's book

                            (They are simple sociatal stuff, dont steal, kill etc.....)



                            Originally posted by Starchild
                            As an atheist, I find such dietary laws quaint and amusing. You may be the Chosen of God but I can at least have a sandwich.

                            Happy Passover (I prefer Chaunakah cause at least that's got gifts)

                            Non-Jews arent expected to keep Kosher(we dont think YOUR GONNA BURN!!!!! because you dont )


                            I have no illusions about the sources of many of the diatary laws-but having followed them my entire life I am acustomed to them. If nothing else it has given me a GREAT deal of self controll and discipline.
                            Last edited by Vesayen; April 14, 2003, 18:55.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Well, I knew the Jews didn't actively seek out converts, but I didn't knew why or how. Thanks for the info
                              "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
                              "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
                              "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

                              Comment

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