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For common benefit: the fine art of anger management

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  • For common benefit: the fine art of anger management

    I have long felt that the main purpose of America Online's existence is to provide cheap and expendable compact discs to smash when you're mad, and now I know for sure. I thought I'd spread the news that, the next time you feel COSMICALLY po'ed, you don't need to go getting into a fight to let it off. Simply follow these handy steps:
    1. Get a NEW AOL version 9543.0!!!! Demo Disc at your local supermarket or wherever they're handing the stupid things out in your area.
    2. Remove the disc from its packaging and place it on a very hard surface, such as the sidewalk or a blacktop.
    3. Let loose on that sucker with a claw hammer. Go ahead, throw all your body weight into the blow. You will find inner peace.

    I just tried this method today, and let me tell you, massage and relaxing sounds and all that other hippie crap have nothing on the feeling you get. That's why I felt obligated to share this with you all. You will pause, still clutching the hammer, and think to yourself, "Well, the girl still has a boyfriend, I'm still failing math, I still drive a Kia and my job still sucks, but THAT DAMNED CD EXPLODED! UP YOURS, AOL!! YEAH!!"
    At least, that's how I felt. It's probably even better if you use something by Microsoft. Go ahead, try it. The hammer shall set you free. Note that I'm not sure if the whole casual-destruction scapegoat thing works for everybody. But this is too remarkable for me not to share with the world. Ah, peace....
    1011 1100
    Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

  • #2
    What I used to do was collect demos and aol discs and store them until my angers built up. Eventually by the time I needed to vent I would have sufficient CDs to throw them like a frisbee, and I'd goto my school and distribute them to my friends and throw them at each other, walls, innocents and take pleasure in seeing those cds break as it hits hard objects... or seeing people get hurt (cause those things hurt when you throw them).
    :-p

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    • #3
      i like to let my anger out by burning things.

      get a paper towel, sticka cd on it, and go put it in SOMEONE ELSE's microwave for four seconds.
      B♭3

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      • #4
        You use microwave? You're not a hardcore PYRO!

        :-p

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        • #5
          well, specifically with cds, yes. because you get sparks.

          no, to really burn things, you need matches. none of that zippo lighter ****, but matches. they feel real.
          B♭3

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          • #6
            I tried throwing 'em. Trust me, nothing compares to the visceral glory of smashing one with a hammer. They frigging EXPLODE in this Hiroshimoid shockwave, almost too fast to see. Once you go hammer you'll never go back.
            1011 1100
            Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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            • #7
              I play racquetball. Nothing gets me pissed off like playing racquetball and losing.
              <p style="font-size:1024px">HTML is disabled in signatures </p>

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              • #8
                loinburger: yeah nothing gets me pissed off like losing six straight points in squash.

                Generaly exercise and cooking work best for me when I'm in a bad mood, endorphins are great and I do a lot of vege-chopping when I cook which you have to concentrate on enough to take your mind off whatever and that way you get to wack something with a big sharp knife.
                Stop Quoting Ben

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                • #9
                  why go to all those troubles, just go into the OTF, look for an Iraq thread, and argue your @$$ off until people are left with no intellectual resource whatsoever other than insulting you. You win, and you feel soooo much better
                  A true ally stabs you in the front.

                  Secretary General of the U.N. & IV Emperor of the Glory of War PTWDG | VIII Consul of Apolyton PTW ISDG | GoWman in Stormia CIVDG | Lurker Troll Extraordinaire C3C ISDG Final | V Gran Huevote Team Latin Lover | Webmaster Master Zen Online | CivELO (3°)

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Master Zen
                    why go to all those troubles, just go into the OTF, look for an Iraq thread, and argue your @$$ off until people are left with no intellectual resource whatsoever other than insulting you. You win, and you feel soooo much better
                    Ugh. Arguing about Iraq? Thanks but no thanks-I'm talking about ways to reduce stress here.
                    1011 1100
                    Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                    • #11
                      Arguing has therapeutic properties

                      Unless you get easily pissed off though... but then again, if its over the internet, there's no reason to really get angry at people you don't even see right?
                      A true ally stabs you in the front.

                      Secretary General of the U.N. & IV Emperor of the Glory of War PTWDG | VIII Consul of Apolyton PTW ISDG | GoWman in Stormia CIVDG | Lurker Troll Extraordinaire C3C ISDG Final | V Gran Huevote Team Latin Lover | Webmaster Master Zen Online | CivELO (3°)

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                      • #12
                        I agree with Master Zen, arguing can do alot of good.
                        Aslong as you don't get too personal or serious, anyways.
                        Rethink Refuse Reduce Reuse

                        Do It Ourselves

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