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This situation's been bugging me for a while, and I'm tired of turning it over in my own mind and talking about it with my wife, so I thought I'd burden you all with it. Advice, sympathy, snide comments -- contribute what you can.
Okay, so my wife and I have these friends -- we'll call them Rob and Laura; in time-honored couple-friendship tradition, I'm better friends with Rob, she's better friends with Laura. Rob and Laura split up a while back; the split was pretty much Rob's fault, and happened at Laura's insistance. Before they split, though, they were trying to have a kid, which was a big dream for both of them; the split has raised the possibility of Rob never being a Dad (we're all getting old here), which would devistate him.
Now Rob and Laura are in different cities, but still in touch by e-mail, and we're in touch with both of them. Meanwhile, in the intervening period, Laura has:
- gotten involved with a new guy, whom we'll call Ian
- become pregnant with Ian's kid
- moved in with Ian
- and, just recently, had the baby
all without ever telling Rob (who may even harbor hopes of someday getting back together) about any of this.
My problem is not that their lives have become a cheesey daytime soap opera. My problem is I know all this. Someday, it's all going to come out, and Rob is going to be stunned, then devistated, and I'm going to be standing there feeling like an ass because I knew all along.
So, the questions:
1) What would you do if you were in my shoes now?
2) Would would you do if you were in my shoes when the sh*t finally, finally hits the fan?
Okay, so my wife and I have these friends -- we'll call them Rob and Laura; in time-honored couple-friendship tradition, I'm better friends with Rob, she's better friends with Laura. Rob and Laura split up a while back; the split was pretty much Rob's fault, and happened at Laura's insistance. Before they split, though, they were trying to have a kid, which was a big dream for both of them; the split has raised the possibility of Rob never being a Dad (we're all getting old here), which would devistate him.
Now Rob and Laura are in different cities, but still in touch by e-mail, and we're in touch with both of them. Meanwhile, in the intervening period, Laura has:
- gotten involved with a new guy, whom we'll call Ian
- become pregnant with Ian's kid
- moved in with Ian
- and, just recently, had the baby
all without ever telling Rob (who may even harbor hopes of someday getting back together) about any of this.
My problem is not that their lives have become a cheesey daytime soap opera. My problem is I know all this. Someday, it's all going to come out, and Rob is going to be stunned, then devistated, and I'm going to be standing there feeling like an ass because I knew all along.
So, the questions:
1) What would you do if you were in my shoes now?
2) Would would you do if you were in my shoes when the sh*t finally, finally hits the fan?
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