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All The Lies That Are My Life, or, JohnT vs. his Parents.

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  • All The Lies That Are My Life, or, JohnT vs. his Parents.

    If you are unaware of the continuing saga that is my life over the past year, I implore you to read this thread and this one in order to catch you up to speed.

    In the latter link, I make the following quote:

    Also, (and I think this shows that, in the back of my head, I knew something like this could go down) I had controller #18 do an inventory of the items in my personnel file and in my medical history file (no entries there). He thought I was totally paranoid, but who cares - I wasn't going to be working with him in a months time anyway. We signed and dated it, I got the original for my records and a copy was included in my personnel file.

    Why?

    I did not put it past them to forge a non-compete agreement, what with my scrawly, easy-to-forge signature and all. Given that there was no non-compete on whatever July day we did the inventory, the sudden appearance of one will be strongly contested by me.


    Guess what?

    It just "so happens" that my parents did mysteriously find a "non-compete" and are working to enforce it. They have also spent the past few months besmirching my name, saying, with no evidence, that I have stolen proprietary software from my parents company (demonstrably not true) and have been threatening potential clients with legal trouble should they enter into any agreements with me.

    The problem: This "non-compete" was signed by my father. For those of you who do not understand the significance of this, I re-direct you to the first post on the 2nd linked thread (10 Days that Shook...) where I explain the reasoning behind their voiding an already completed (on my part) work agreement:

    1. My stepmother claims that my father has no authority to enter the company into any agreements that she hasn't cleared, and that I should have been aware of this ("I told him 5 times!") when I made the June 24th agreement.
    2. My father, upon hearing this pronouncement and being questioned by the controller as to whether or not this was true, didn't demurr and "kinda made some sort of assenting gesture, but didn't say anything." (According to the controller).
    3. Therefore, there was no agreement between me and the company because the President and 49% owner of the company had no right to enter the company into any agreement whatsoever.


    So my parents have taken the following position:

    1. My father does have the authority to enter into employee agreements if those agreements are detrimental to the employee in questions.
    2. My father does not have the authority to enter into employee agreements if those agreements are not detrimental to the employee in question.

    It gets worse...

    My parents are arguing (to my siblings at least) that I owed the company $17,000 in unpaid American Express bills. Even better, they are offering this as the new reason why I did not get my package, and they claim that they knew of this problem before I left.

    Their problem lies with this: In my final meetings with the Controller, in addition to being told that my family was getting f-ed by my parents, I was also proffered a $600+ bill for miscellaneous American Express expenses accrued by me over the previous 4-5 months. This bill (and others proffered to me during the course of my employment) was paid (I have a cancelled check) and there was NO mention of thousands of dollars of unpaid bills in those meetings.

    So they are lying again.

    (To Be Continued...)

  • #2
    this is what i fear my dad will do to me eventually
    "I hope I get to punch you in the face one day" - MRT144, Imran Siddiqui
    'I'm fairly certain that a ban on me punching you in the face is not a "right" worth respecting." - loinburger

    Comment


    • #3
      Sounds nasty. Sorry to hear that.
      (\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
      (='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
      (")_(") "Starting the fire from within."

      Comment


      • #4
        I hope that you can all work this out. I don't like to see this hatred within a family. It never seems to get better. Try and rise above it John.

        Comment


        • #5
          In the first few months, I decided to ignore all this crap, hoping that my parents would come to their senses.

          But on February 4th, that all changed. Out of the blue I received a registered letter from my parents company (signed by controller #18) accusing me of:

          1. Theft of the above-mentioned proprietary software.
          2. Violating the non-compete through my actions of last September.

          Here's another lesson for y'all: If somebody sends you a letter that accuses you of theft, you CANNOT let such a thing lie - a non-reply can be construed as an admission of guilt.

          So far I have been playing this thing against my instincts, following my family's advice: "lay low... Dad will come to his senses... they won't actually enforce this thing... blah, blah, blah." When I received the letter, however, I decided "F them. What the hell do they know or care?"

          So I called my father the next day. "Dad, we need to talk." We scheduled a meeting at my house on Wednesday, Feb 12th, and at the appointed time my father drove up.

          In this meeting, we went over the chain of events. I had a notebook with the corresponding materials and my agenda (yes, I actually had an agenda in a meeting with my father. ). My father demurred on a number of things, and then asked for a copy of my notes. I told him that my notes were not written with the idea of being passed out, but I would be glad to write him a letter detailing what was discussed in the meeting and my position. This letter is as follows (names have been edited out for obvious reasons):

          2-12-2003

          JohnT
          My address

          Dear Dad,

          Thank you for meeting with me today so we could discuss the various issues between you and I. It was a shame that it took so long, and that it had to be called in the manner that it did, but it was a good thing we did talk.

          You asked if I could send my notes. Since the notes were not really for others to view, I will send you a timeline of the various events. I will make note of where we disagreed as to the version of events:

          The employment agreement.

          June 10th, 2002: John resigns from (MY PARENTS COMPANY) effective July 31st, 2002.

          June 24th, 2002: (my father) and John meet in John’s office, where (my father) reveals that (MY PARENTS COMPANY) needs John to stay one more month to help train his (John’s) replacement. To this end, in addition to my regular salary during the month of August, you offered me an additional three months pay. When I pressed in regards to benefits (especially health coverage), (my father) replied that it would be handled like I was “still on payroll,” that I was to get bi-weekly checks, and that benefits would be included.

          August 26th, 2002: John meets with (my father) and (Controller #18) to discuss putting the agreement in writing. (my father) demurs, claims that there is “no need.” (Controller #18) claims otherwise, agreeing it was in my best interest and that it could be done “quickly.” You initially didn’t remember this meeting, but then referred to it later in the discussion.

          August 27th, 2002: (my father) meets with (Controller #18) to discuss the agreement. (my father) admits to (Controller #18) that yes, there was an agreement and that (my father) agreed to it so “to help John while he finds a job.”

          August 27th, 2002: (my father) meets with John, saying he must go home due to exhaustion. (my father) promises John that the agreement will be “worked out” the next morning.

          August 28th, 2002: John meets with (Controller #18) at 3:30. (Controller #18) relays the following message:

          1. According to (my Stepmother), in a meeting between (Controller #18), (my Stepmother), and (my father) earlier in the week, (my Stepmother) claimed that the agreement was invalid because (my father) , though President of (MY PARENTS COMPANY), did not have the authority to enter into employee contracts and agreements.

          2. (my father) did not dissent from this opinion.

          3. Therefore there was no agreement.
          (Controller #18) also presents John with an American Express Bill for $600+ dollars for the prior 4 months. My response to (Controller #18) was simple: I have an employment agreement made in good faith between me and the President of the corporation. As far as I’m concerned, there is still a contract. You claimed you didn’t know what was being said in this meeting.

          August 28th, 2002: (Controller #18) re-meets with John around 4:15. (Controller #18) makes the following offer:

          1. I am to get a lump sum for the salary portion only.

          2. There is to be no benefits, including no health care coverage for my daughter and wife, or might I say, your granddaughter and daughter-in-law.

          3. But the only way I was to get this “compromise” was if I signed a non-compete agreement. You claimed not to know of this meeting either.

          Whereupon I told my wife, and we proceeded to leave work. It was past 4:30pm, on my last day with 99.9% of my agreed-upon time completed, and I had just received word that my parents were responsible for an over $17,000 hit on my finances. You’d likely leave work too.

          The Non-Compete.

          On June 19th, 2002, I requested a review and inventory of my personnel file. (Controller #18) and I reviewed it, and I wrote up a quick inventory and put a copy into the folder (I still have the original, of course).

          On August 28th, 2002, I was proffered a non-compete by (Controller #18) in our second meeting, saying I had to sign it if I wanted the second amended agreement. I refused.

          Then, a mere 3 days later, rumblings start coming out how a number of “non-compete” forms were miraculously found, including one that I had apparently signed a few years before. Other names mentioned included (another employee and family member), whom, I might add, worked for a competitor for a year with nary a word from (MY PARENTS COMPANY).

          After I returned from our vacation, I requested a copy of the non-compete from (Controller #18). Two things quickly stood out: 1., the dates of our signatures were exactly 3 years apart, and 2., your signature and title was on the document as a “(MY PARENTS COMPANY) Representative.”

          This past Tuesday, February 4th, 2003, I receive yet another copy from (Controller #18), attached to a letter that implied that I am using stolen property. It was this letter, coupled with the non-resolved issue of my compensation, which prompted this meeting.

          As I mentioned in the meeting, I am assured that I have done nothing to violate the agreement.

          My position and proposed settlement.

          My position is plain and straightforward: (MY PARENTS COMPANY) cannot have its cake and eat it too. (MY PARENTS COMPANY) cannot claim that (my father) , President, has the authority to enter employees into employment agreements while at the same time argue that (my father) , President does NOT have the authority to enter into employee agreements and withhold the benefits of those agreements.

          Had (MY PARENTS COMPANY) recognized this simple fact in the beginning, (MY PARENTS COMPANY) could’ve let the original agreement stand, and enforced the non-compete. But because of the pain and suffering inflicted not only upon me but my wife and daughter (it was Sophie’s health coverage, Dad! Your very own granddaughter!), returning to the pre-August 28th status quo is no longer viable. Therefore, I proposed two possible solutions that would bring this matter to a close with both of us being able to publicly announce that all differences are settled:

          1. (MY PARENTS COMPANY) pays John the $17,000 owed for services rendered and, in a written document, waives their claim to enforce the non-compete.

          or

          2. If (MY PARENTS COMPANY) insists upon enforcing the non-compete, then (MY PARENTS COMPANY) pays John the $17,000 owed for rendered services plus an extra $10,000 for damages. (MY PARENTS COMPANY) also agrees that the non-compete ends August, 28th, 2003.

          I want to put this behind us, to start making this family whole again. But I cannot do so until this matter is resolved to my liking. I’m not asking for much – you already owe me the $17,000; therefore the decision is whether enforcing the non-compete for the next 5 months is worth $10,000.

          I must admit that I was disappointed with the lack of a satisfying resolution today, one in which I allowed you to set an indefinite date for you to reach me. I truly hope that you will not allow this to come between us, between you and my family. Sophie has spent enough time away from her grandfather – why prolong it?

          Anyway, Laura, Sophia, and I are going down to Atlanta this Monday to catch up with (my Aunt and Uncle). I’ll give you a call when we get back in town Tuesday.

          With love,

          JohnT


          To be continued...

          Comment


          • #6
            His reaction? He was disappointed by the "antagonistic tone" of my letter, to which I replied "Exactly how do you think this entire situation appears to me?" He said that he couldn't accept either one of the two solutions, but that he had a compromise in mind... but he couldn't go into details because he was preparing for a trip to San Francisco and was leaving the very next day.

            So I told him I would be in touch when he got back.

            During the intervening week, I thought about and devised a number of possible compromises that would be un/acceptable. Because I am the type of person that I am, I typed this up and had it with me when I met with my father the last time. A (heavily edited) copy of this document follows.

            1. He doesn’t have a compromise. Face it, this is a likely possibility. If so, then offer him the work compromise below.

            2. Drop the non-compete, no money: Acceptable, in writing and with their signatures, delivered to me by Tuesday AM (FedEx).

            3. More work from me for money: Unacceptable, except in one case (see below). I have already completed my half of the bargain – it is up to Dad and (his company) to make this whole again.

            4. Partial Restitution w/o work: Acceptable, but make no promises or even mention future relations. If he actually presses the issue (I don’t think he will), tell him this:

            “This comes to $5,666 for each of us. Think of it this way: each $5,666 that you pay gets you the ‘right’ to see one of us. I am the first $5.6 grand, Laura is the second $5.6 grand, and Sophie is the 3rd $5.6 grand.”

            5. A loan: No WAY!

            Acceptable work compromise: For Dad/their company to farm ... work to (my company).... I will need a written agreement with (their company) to perform such services of course. The contract will have the following:

            1. Minimum of ($X amount of business) by August 30th.
            2. Contract ends August 30th (meaning no September work).
            3. (how much I'm charging)
            4. First work to begin in April.
            5. (Miscellenous stuff that is irrelevant to this post.)
            6. Payment upon delivery.
            7. Shipping costs are direct-billed.
            8. Jobs are to be selected by both of our companies.
            9. This is a contract between two companies and not an employment contract.
            10. The end date on the non-compete shall be fixed at August 28th, 2003. This could be worked as a separate agreement.

            If Dad “wants to think about it” give him two days.

            Tell him he needs to meet with (their current manager) and look at the schedule to determine where I could help. Tell him I will email him a contract draft and further explanation of the idea by the end of the day. Tell him that I know... (the department that I used to run is falling apart, not getting the work done). Tell him that this would be an honorable way to get out of this ugly, horrible situation, one where both parties actually get to “save face” and win* – because honestly, saving face is pretty much what this is all about at this point.

            * (their company) gets some more work, I get my money. The relationship is saved.

            Dammit, SELL the idea to him!

            ...

            If he delays some more w/o agreeing to anything: “Dad, we agreed that we would have this thing worked out by last Friday. If there is no agreement made by the time we hang up/I leave, I will assume that there is no agreement and the situation still stands as is.” HE MUST SAY YEA OR NAY!!!

            If he just will not agree to anything, i.e. claims he doesn’t owe me any money, or comes back with all sorts of bizarre counter-accusations and rationalizations that have nothing to do with resolving the issue and everything to do with assigning or shifting blame (I’m not totally 110% innocent either), and refuses to even think about a work agreement with my company, then inform him that I am severing the relationship between them and my family for good. One has to earn the right to spend time with my daughter, and stealing her health care and openly rejecting her father and mother is not how you do it.


            I feel, that under the circumstances, I was being more than reasonable.

            To be continued...

            Comment


            • #7
              As I've followed this develop for some time now as you have posted it here I have to say that I get really upset each time I read what you write. I don't know if it's because they seems to be such mean and petty individuals that has nothing else to do with their lifes than to try to turn it into "days of our lifes" or that i fear that they are that kind of people that always wins in the end.

              Comment


              • #8
                Who rated this 1 star?

                Comment


                • #9
                  With potential compromises in hand, I went to meet my father. Things really went downhill from there:

                  I met Dad at their offices, right outside of Dad’s office. I was not invited in at all; this entire conversation took place out of doors. After making it outside, Dad literally said upon seeing me, before even a simple ‘hello’: “We’re not going to do anything.” There was no compromise as he hinted two weeks ago; instead, I got a flat out refusal to right the wrong, even partially. I wasn’t even asked to compromise – there was just the initial “We’re not going to do anything.” When asked why, he offered the excuse that he “doesn’t have control of the company anymore, there’s nothing I can do.” When I asked, yet again for him to clarify his position he said it again – there was to be no payment for the extra month that I worked based upon the agreement he made me, no partial payment, no compromise of any sort on the compensation issue. He again re-iterated the fact that he is nothing but a figurehead, kept there to keep the employees loyal to sad-sack Dad. Well, he didn’t go that far but I am uniquely aware of the various roles played by the people within that organization.

                  Then I asked him to clarify the company's position in regards to the non-compete. He acted confused and replied, “How do you mean?” “Well, if I get a job offer from ABC Inc. (another company in the industry), is your company going to come after me or ABC legally?” “Well, I don’t know.” “Well, Dad, you have to have an opinion. We all know that it ends 5-6 months from now, but what I need to know is if I do something before then, will y'all take legal action against me?” “Once again I’m not in charge of the company. But if you ask me what they’ll do, I don’t think so.”

                  He doesn’t think so. He will not even agree to allow me to pursue my career until August 31, 2003. He has stolen Sophia’s health care. My wife has been through hell because of this, and I’m going to be honest: both Laura and I have seen a psychologist because it is a living hell knowing that your father has rejected your entire family for a mere $5,666 a person.

                  All the above and more flashed through my mind. If my father is going throw us away this cavalierly, this… cheaply, then he’s not going to get away with it peacefully.

                  So I told him off. Flat out yelled at him. I told him that he was never to see Laura, Sophie, or me again. I told him that as far as I am concerned, my father died on August 28th, 2002, the date he betrayed my family and I. I told him that if, God forbid, something should happen to Laura, Sophie, or I, that he and Jan are forbidden to come to our funerals, as so not to taint them with their presence. I told him that he was a thief and a liar, that reminded him that I didn’t forget that he lost his executive position at (a major, top-10 retail chain), his real estate position (and ended up with a criminal record at the age of 50 to boot!), years of a good relationship with his daughter and, now, his son and granddaughter all for the same reason: because he was a thief.

                  And it was here that he left. He closed the door to his office, saying, “I don’t need to hear this.” To which, my final words to my father were “Typical loser! Except this time you’re hiding behind a closed door, rather than the skirts of a woman!”

                  I cried for days. But that didn't debilitate me from doing what was necessary

                  (To be continued. Sorry, but I'm trying to keep these posts of an acceptable length.)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    If you get this mess to a Oprah-show I'm sure we can be persuaded to give it two stars.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Damn John, this sounds ugly. I don't know what to suggest...hang in pal.
                      Long time member @ Apolyton
                      Civilization player since the dawn of time

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I got back with my attorney ($185/hour!) to discuss the situation. I had retained him when all this started, but up to this point all I wanted was a review of the non-compete and it's applicability under TN law (He said that he could make a good 13th amendment (the amendment that prohibited slavery) case out of it). To this end, we drafted the following letter (where I still feel that I am being reasonable):

                        March 29, 2003

                        Controller's name
                        Business name/address

                        RE: JohnT and Acme Inc.

                        Dear ...:

                        Please be advised that I have been retained by Mr. JohnT to represent his interests in relation to disputes with Acme Inc. Regretfully, my client’s efforts to resolve these issues directly with the company have been unsuccessful.

                        It has come to our attention that certain representatives of Acme are making comments designed to impair our client’s ability to earn a living, including the following:

                        _ Mentioning to potential business associates and employers that my client is in possession of proprietary materials and software in violation of Paragraph 3 of the “Work Made for Hire” agreement.

                        _ Declaring to potential business associates and employees that my client is unable to work in the ... business under “any manner as such to take away, or cause the loss of business of" Acme Inc, a restraint of trade clause that is not favored in the State of Tennessee.

                        It is our considered opinion that the Work made for Hire document as written is non-enforceable under Tennessee Law. From this day forward, any attempt by Acme Inc. or its agents to misrepresent or otherwise prevent my client from earning a living based upon this document may result in legal action, including the seeking of all potential lost wages or income that my client may have incurred.

                        Also, we respectfully submit that Acme Inc. purposefully defrauded my client by illegally denying him his lawfully-earned restitution in an agreement he made with the President of the Company.

                        I am aware that Acme Inc. takes the position that the President lacked authority to enter into the referenced compensation agreement. If that is true, please advise what authority the President has to enter into other contractual agreements. It appears that Acme is attempting to “have its cake and eat it too”.

                        My client has also requested that I respond to your letter of February 3rd, 2003. First, please be advised that my client does not possess any information or materials that belong to Acme Inc. other than the time clock and time cards that the company’s President refused to accept during a meeting on February 12th.

                        Please also note that my client has not contracted out work to any Acme Inc. clients known to him as such, nor has he done anything detrimental to Acme’s bottom line. My client did, however, submit a draft contract for one of the employers on the list below. However, the contract submitted was just a draft. For your information, this contract was neither signed nor discussed. As to avoid any misunderstandings on this issue in the future, we are requesting confirmation as to the completeness of the following list of current Acme clients:

                        (List follows)

                        Please make any adjustments to the list that you see fit and send the amended list, if applicable, to me at the above address. Upon receipt, I will confer with my client as to your client list. My client has no intention of willfully violating the Work Made for Hire agreement (even though it is probably not enforceable), but we want to ensure that our client does not unintentionally violate the agreement.

                        If I do not receive a reply within 15 days, I will consider the above list to be all-inclusive and that my client is currently free to pursue any earning opportunities provided to him by any or all companies not on the list.

                        Please advise when my client will be paid the monies owed to him by Acme Inc. Please forward all future correspondences on this subject to me. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

                        Best personal regards,

                        Sincerely,

                        (My Lawyer)
                        cc: Me (via e-mail)


                        We have yet to recieve a reply. This letter was delivered to Acme the 28th of March, meaning that they have 4 days left.

                        This is where things stand currently.
                        Last edited by JohnT; April 9, 2003, 13:29.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          God, this sounds awful. My sympathies. My only advice is to dump your lawyer and hire (as Paul Newman puts it in The Verdict) The Prince of F*cking Darkness. Lawyers are evil but, when you need one, nothing beats a truly evil lawyer.
                          "I have as much authority as the pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it." — George Carlin

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            That is nasty. Whew! Obviously, this is an outlet for you so you wont get my 2 cents, but you will get my commiserations.

                            How did the evil stepmother get 51% BTW?
                            We need seperate human-only games for MP/PBEM that dont include the over-simplifications required to have a good AI
                            If any man be thirsty, let him come unto me and drink. Vampire 7:37
                            Just one old soldiers opinion. E Tenebris Lux. Pax quaeritur bello.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              i want to know what company this is so i can go protest them until they give you what you want.
                              "I hope I get to punch you in the face one day" - MRT144, Imran Siddiqui
                              'I'm fairly certain that a ban on me punching you in the face is not a "right" worth respecting." - loinburger

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